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My Time Working at Stripe

jondlm.github.io

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Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#271

Post by Brian_K_White »

wkjagt wrote: post #92

There's a lot of comments on the "10% more vulnerable" part of the post in here that amount to "I just owe the company work hours, and they owe me money", and a strong aversion to showing anything resembling human connection going slightly further than "how are you", "fine". One commented even called the question by the manager "abuse", and suggested the manager should be fired. But if on most days we're spending mos…

It is abuse and the manager forced everyone to respond either by participating or by refusing to participate or by lying or by exposing that they actually have literally nothing interesting to say.

If you don't get that, then you are probably out their making life 5% hell for half the people around you, in blissful ignorance thanks to the effort they all put in to catering to your inconsiderate interactions.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#272

Post by [deleted] »

d0gsg0w00f wrote: post #258
DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

When these things come up I just share work vulnerabilities like, "Yeah, that project I pushed for was a terrible idea in hindsight." Or "I'm really struggling with this project because I don't know if anyone cares about it". That way I tick the participation box without making it therapy.

[deleted]

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#273

Post by tbrownaw »

random42 wrote: post #132
Tainnor wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Well, the manager asked only for “10% more vulnerable”. And they have absolutely no right to do that. "Being vulnerable" is not part of any job description.

Making high performance teams is part of their job description though, and there is research to indicate that teams with strong social bonds perform better.

Correlations tend to disappear when one of the correlated things starts to get used as a tunable.

Related: [Goodhart's Law](https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority...)

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#274

Post by jondlm »

superultra wrote: post #189
DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

I am the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. I grew up in a familialy dishonest context so being open and transparent has been my default. That attitude is a liability at work and I’ve learned the hard way. We’ve all heard the phrase don’t shit where you eat. In modern workplace cadence that means don’t use your workplace as your source of therapy or friends or certainly family. The way we present yourselv…

Sorry to hear you've been burned by sharing.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#275

Post by stogot »

morning-coffee wrote: post #178
scott_w wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I could pick a comment to explain a “self-fulfilling prophecy,” it would be this one right here.

Exactly... if you want to be miserable at work, by all means, "slack off as much as possible". I think we forget the big picture that "no one gets out alive" and that it's up to each of us to spend the time we have in a way that makes us happy. If you can afford to not spend 1/3 of your time at a job in order to fund the remaining 2/3 of your existence, lucky you! But if not, choosing to slack off at a job you hate i…

And it makes your colleagues miserable because they have to carry the load or slack off too, which inevitably means the whole team is disfunctional and should be let go

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#276

Post by jondlm »

Tainnor wrote: post #43
DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

I agree and this wasn't the only red flag in the post for me. The reverence for a company that does, in the end, "just" process payments or the part about "a billionaire liked my project"... I feel like there's something rather unhealthy about that kind of mindset. All the best to the author of the post, hopefully they can find more meaningful work.

Your red flags are absolutely merited. I won't deny that.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#277

Post by Brian_K_White »

What was the point of this to anyone who does not already know this person?

I thought the internal memo was going to just be the background to set up the actual point which would be something they learned or something.

Actually at first I thought it was going to be about Stripe's culture but there was really nothing too exceptionally bad, just ordinary bog standard work in a too-big company issues. The standout most offensive thing Stripe did to them was something they actually liked.

So, fine, it won't be about how good or bad Stripe is, just about some process they went through and it starts with "I'm not feeling much purpose to my life and I'm not sure why not, but work as a developer in a generic bog standard tech company is not providing it."

Ok, got it. Setup established. Ready for the point now. But then that's it. 'No "and then"'.

Ok like, so what? The mere fact of deciding to quit a tech job for the vague reason of non-specific dissatisfaction is relevant to this person's direct close friends & family, barely relevant to anyone else at their company, and not relevant at all to anyone else.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#278

Post by zeroonetwothree »

varispeed wrote: post #64
DeathArrow wrote: post #40

I think the author had unrealistic expectations from working at a large company. He expected doing something meaningful that will change the world. He expected to be applauded like a hero for his efforts. But things don't work like that. If you work your ass out, don't expect more than a pat on the back. Managers won't care about your efforts, your mental state or your sleepless nights. They care about looking good i…

> a brilliant idea that might help the company a lot don't just do it. Never do it. It will never end up benefitting you, even if you find "allies" - who might even stab you in the back and take credit for the idea and then let you go once they get a promotion. If you have a brilliant idea, keep it to yourself, try to think of a way it could be used outside of the company and if it is strong enough start your own bus…

This has not been my experience. I’ve seen people rewarded for ‘brilliant ideas’ (though really more like brilliant execution, let’s be honest, ideas are worthless in their own). Now could they have more reward starting their own company? Perhaps. But it’s certainly more risky. In a regular job if your idea doesn’t pan out you haven’t lost much, maybe you get a slightly smaller bonus that year or something.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#279

Post by jondlm »

Imustaskforhelp wrote: post #103
varispeed wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would I would have reported manager to HR for this and if they didn't take action I would take company to tribunal. This is pure simple coercion into sharing personal data that then other workers could use against you. I can't see the world where sharing personal stuff at work is ever appropriate, let alone be subjected to peer pressure to share it.

This isn't and shouldn't be the typical response to such things. The boss had also become vulnerable asking you to be 10% more vulnerable. I think I would respect it more than harsh cold calculating boss. And also the chinese gospel's taking its effect here , the post above this paraphrased it differently and this has taken it to completely different level. Nobody is forcing you with a gun to tell things or else you…

My boss shared first and was very much clear about it being optional.

People bring a lot of context into these conversations and make a lot of assumptions. There is a lot of nuance here and that's tough to sit with.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#280

Post by zeroonetwothree »

olivermuty wrote: post #9

What you are experiencing is the symptom of working in a large company where no matter how well you perform, you can not significantly move the needle yourself. Coupled with the fact that, as you yourself pointed out, there is a literal endless amount of work to do, forever. This is also due to the nature of the company being so big. All companies always has work to do, and no one is ever «done», but in a giga-enterp…

I work at a much larger company than Stripe and I’ve definitely “moved the needle” myself. It’s all about finding high leverage projects to work on.
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