Live data from Hacker News

Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

news.ycombinator.com

271–280 of 344 posts

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#271
post #5

The number one trait I have seen in people who are burned out is that they utterly and completely deny they are burned out. They often furiously push back on the idea. "I cannot possibly be burned out, because I have way too much to do," or something less articulate. Admitting you're burned out is the fist step on the path back. It can take years to get back to normal and have passion again. But it will return if you…

I think the basic mechanism is:

You have an identity that says you're good at something, responsible, motivated, etc. that identity is the one that talks in meetings, promises to do stuff, signs up for things, etc. This is the part that would push back on the idea of being burned out as well, because it identifies with not being that way. Part of your brain is dedicated to projecting this identity out into the world.

Meanwhile you have another part of your brain which is your actual executive function, which responds to your needs and makes you want to do things. It will try to do what the first identity says, to a point, but if it starts wear down, be bored, be frustrated, etc, it will start to fail.

What's supposed to happen is that your first identity, or rather your whole coherent self with all of its parts, recognizes that something is not working and does something: takes a break, quits, stops working so hard, changes something, adjusts the identity to be healthier, whatever.

What happens instead is that those small failures are ignored and start accumulate into a larger and larger debt, of being behind, not getting what you need, and draining yourself of executive function to keep up with it. Eventually this becomes untenable and your brain just starts to shut down.

The way out is somehow reconciling the two. I expect that it looks like: first, realizing that you're drained and properly recuperating, then second, realizing that you're not getting what you need to stay driven and doing something about it. Just recuperating on its own isn't enough.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are other companies, too. I work at, statistically speaking, Your Phone Company, and they don't pay FAANG money but they certainly pay a lot better than I was doing at startups. Caveat: I don't live in the Bay Area, though the Boston area isn't exactly cheap.

I hope it’s a great experience there, have friends in the risk/cyber areas and have heard nothing but good things.

Thanks! It's an interesting place, and I think the technical quality depends pretty heavily on what org you're in. But the quality-of-life is very high and I'm mostly enjoying myself.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#273
post #155
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny enough, I just had my first LeetCode question ever... for an internal job posting. Wtf

Can't they just look at your code commit history ...

But then where is the opportunity for ego stroking?

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All hours spent with kids under 5 is basically 'on'. Which would leave most mothers I've met at zero 'on hours' left for work. A reason for the 'gender pay gap'?

Childcare is skilled, necessary labor, and should be subsidized by the government at the level that food production is. Maternity leave and paternity leave in the United States are also woefully insufficient.

Proposal rejected by society. You will raise the child into a productive citizen, then society will tax the shit out of them while yelling "we paid our property taxes for our shit schools, so we deserve a slice."

Then the social security cut gets distributed regardless of preference to who raised the kids who now pay the taxes.

It's a classic tragedy of the commons, offload almost all the cost on moms then socialize the taxed gains.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#275

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've said it twice, and I'll reiterate it a third time. Your own well being has to come first. You can't deliver on the rest of your commitments if you neglect your own needs. Being a martyr does not serve those who depend on you.

If you can’t love yourself how are you going to love someone else?

Can I Get an Amen?

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#276
Every-time burnout comes up, I can’t help but notice that people are describing my default state as someone with severe ADHD and a fundamental dopamine deficiency. I can relate so much to every reported symptom that it becomes very difficult for me to frame burnout in the context of my own experience. Medication, exercise, healthy food, and cold showers are the tools I’ve always used to get myself close enough to a neurotypical background to be able to do things like teach myself how to code.

I feel for you, and I wish you a swift recovery! And if you get Covid, SLEEP AND CHUG WATER like your life depends on it, or you may get permanent burnout in the form of long covid (my worst nightmare), without the hope of recovery that you currently have to look forward to and strive towards :)

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#277
post #100
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately when it comes to preparing for interview leetcode is pretty much required at all stages. For that the way that works for me is to never let go of it. I will solve 2 3 problems over a week even when I have a job. That downtime at work when you are at home or waiting for the next meeting...just leetcode. I absolutely hate LC and hate the fact that it is omnipresent but now no longer fear it. Except Dynami…

Funny enough I had an interview today with a dynamic programming whiteboard problem. I feel like if I hadn't been putting in my leetcode hours I would have totally bombed

Apparently Google and finance firms are the ones that still ask dynamic programming. If any non-FAANG company is asking that, especially startups, I'd tell them to get off their high horse.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#278
In the same boat, and I wanted to add the worst thing... your energy level (or lack thereof)

I used to be able to play games or work for hours (even without taking breaks)

Currently I can do some simple things like making breakfast, taking care of personal hygiene, or write this small comment without getting tired, but if things get a little bit more complex I am getting so exhausted that I need to go to bed for a while.

Take good care of yourselves people, having a brain quit on you most of the time really is not that great :(

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Childcare is skilled, necessary labor, and should be subsidized by the government at the level that food production is. Maternity leave and paternity leave in the United States are also woefully insufficient.

Proposal rejected by society. You will raise the child into a productive citizen, then society will tax the shit out of them while yelling "we paid our property taxes for our shit schools, so we deserve a slice." Then the social security cut gets distributed regardless of preference to who raised the kids who now pay the taxes. It's a classic tragedy of the commons, offload almost all the cost on moms then socialize…

It works great until women have control over whether or not they have children.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#280

I've been dealing with burnout multiplied by cancer in the family. My spouse was diagnosed back in 2020. It was tough and unmanageable until I got back to P.Cubensis and started microdosing it just to stay alive. I didn't go to stratosphere, and not a fan of a mAcrodose. But mIcrodose helped me to rewire my brain. Can't recommend it enough. Don't do P.Cubensis though, since P.Natalensis is the better, easier choice i…

I've met several Americans who are into self-medicating like this. One guy was talking about his 500k USD salary at Facebook, so clearly successful, while obsessing about where to source drugs, so clearly struggling. Have you considered that there may be permanent changes to your brain, that you're not able to perceive, similar to the radical shift in personality we've observed in Elon Musk?

I've accepted and embraced all the permanent changes for one very simple reason: it's better to be alive than depressed and/or dead and/or being in vegetative state. Note that I was dealing with extreme circumstances - life and death on a daily basis. I had stress that was so intense that all of my teeth were in pain, every day two weeks straight.

I am happy I was able to exchange it for the "permanent changes" that made me back alive. I won't hesitate to do it again (have to admit I don't need it know, I'm in peace).

> obsessing about where to source drugs

It's one of the things I avoid, because sourcing is dangerous. Everything is contam now, even weed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehvIkZCZmzA. So "sourcing" and "drugs" are not the words from my vocabulary.

1000-year-old medicine I call it, that nature provides, ideally unprocessed (see /r/herbalism for safe-for-work examples).

Also, try to read the book I mentioned if you have time, it's in the very beginning (first 10% of it will answer most/all of your questions).

Post reply on HN