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Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

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Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#271

Post by CM30 »

I've had... a few breakdowns over the last few years or so. Was suicidally depressed for a few months in 2021 or so, and have been in a similar situation earlier this year too. Also experienced a lot of burn out, with a complete lack of motivation to do anything and a feeling of hopelessness in general.

Sometimes I even question if I'm awake or that this is reality at all.

As for why this sort of thing happens? Not sure. Maybe because of the feeling that I should be more successful than I am at the moment, and the fear I've wasted time that could have been more productive. Or maybe the isolation from a company that doesn't offer much support and a lengthy pandemic.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#272

Post by rchaud »

You are not alone. A close friend of mine has bipolar disorder, but was able to keep it from friends and colleagues due to a combination of a happy life, strong family support and great personal charisma. No one knew, or even suspected it.

During Covid lockdowns, his business went under, and his marriage began to suffer. Pretty soon he was experiencing manic episodes brought on by the grief/stress of losing his livelhood, and he wasn't taking any treatment because it was in his manic phase that he was coming up with ideas for a new business. He'd be up all hours of the night and completely worn out and depressed during the days.

His marriage ended, he moved out into a working farm which he bought, changed his phone number, and I haven't seen or heard anything about him since.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#273

Post by ROTMetro »

dangwhy wrote: post #245

Ugh I dislike these kind of responses that show up these threads 1. Its burnout 2. Its depression 3. Its midlife crisis None of these are defined or have a 'cure' . So whats the point of these diagnosis.

That the person isn't alone, that it isn't just them but common. That they fit in on the island of misfit toys where we are all a little broken and don't belong in the trash.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#274

Post by avgDev »

wonderwonder wrote: post #265
heleninboodler wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If INTPenis hears anything I hope it's that not having kids isn't the root of this problem. I have kids and it's wonderful, but I too feel all the same lethargy and lack of purpose interspersed with bouts of helping kids with their homework and relentlessly getting their grumpy asses to school at ungodly hours every day and generally trying hard not to fuck them up. If you're already in a shitty situation, having kid…

This. Kids don't help with burnout. I drive my kids to school each morning at 7:20. This is preceded by 35 minutes of insanity asking them 100 times to get out of bed, eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, etc. This morning on the drive in, I got in an argument with my kid over the stupidest thing that is probably my fault but the result was he got out of the car upset and I drove back home irritated,…

I feel this.

I am having a really hard time coping with parenting. I am logical person but my toddler is not. I like reading books and just silence which allows me to think. That is completely gone in our house now. It is mostly crying, screaming, followed by more crying. There are some beautiful moments that I will cherish, but I really have a hard time. Other times, we are asking to brush teeth, get ready for bed, get in the car, get inside, or do something else which is met with MASSIVE resistance.

I don't know how people have 3-4 kids. I would probably go insane.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#275

Post by avgDev »

fho wrote: post #194
hobo_mark wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For instance, one CEO would periodically grab me, walk me a few blocks away from the office and proceed to scream in my face for 20 minutes on the sidewalk. There are many, many other examples, but honestly, it's all too familiar and boring to recount. Wh..why did you even stay long enough for this to have happened more than once ?

Have you ever walked away from a job? It's really hard to do.

I have.

When I was young I detailed cars for a small dealership with 3 owners. It was a hot summer day, no AC in the shop, boss wanted me to get a car detailed in 2 hours. Kept asking if it is ready, and at some point he started screaming at me.

I literally said, "Fuck off man, I'm done, you can do this shit yourself". It was the most liberating moment in my life. Other owners called me and asked if I would come back, that the other guy was sorry. I didn't.

Today my emergency fund will cover 2 years of living expenses, because I never want to be stuck working in a crappy environment.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#276

Post by domain8543 »

luxuryballs wrote: post #190
jurassic wrote: post #43

I think it is worth probably talking with a mental health professional about your experience. Even if you feel normal, you may not be the best person to judge whether you are actually behaving normally now or not. It is good to arm yourself with facts and opinions from experts, even if you choose not to act on the information now. And it can be useful to share the professional diagnosis with trusted friends or family…

I’ve always wondered how suicide becomes a viable option in the human mind, like at some point in life did we learn about it or is it a more natural mental progression? Like I wonder if someone raised in isolation would ever come up with the idea of killing yourself on their own or if it has to come from some outside influence. To be clear I’ve had thoughts like that too but I just can’t recall if I came up with it o…

This is easily provable by looking at instances of other species committing suicide.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#277

Post by lightning19 »

easymodex wrote: post #60
vbezhenar wrote: post #42

My relative gone through schizophrenia and never recovered fully to normal life. You're happy that you did. Don't blame yourself, you have no control over it, it just happens. Be careful with your work-life balance and keep visiting doctors as long as needed. You can never be sure that it won't get back some day but treating this situation before it gets dire makes everything easier.

Can you elaborate on "never recovered fully to normal life". My wife went through her first episode psychosis and it's likely schizophrenia. Did they ever realize that the delusions weren't true? Do they still have unusual behavior? Are they on maintenance meds? Sorry for the questions, I know there's a lot of stories the internet already, but I trust NH users opinions more than reddit and I'd really like an idea of…

I recall this from Lex Fridman's podcast, maybe it will help address some of your questions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk6mo-BCkzg

I hope your wife gets better.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#278

Post by alvivanco »

kazinator wrote: post #269
alvivanco wrote: post #268

You're not an outlier. This happens to everyone at some point in their lives. Without periods like these, one would not be able to appreciate the good times. We are constantly evolving and finding ourselves. Keep your head up!

> This happens to everyone at some point in their lives. I understand that you mean kindly, but hallucinating objects such as seeing fish fossils everywhere does not happen to everyone, or even the rhetorical "everyone".

I thought that was being said as some kind of metaphor/reference I did not understand. My bad.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#280

Post by 2devnull »

SpeedilyDamage wrote: post #254
2devnull wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, you’re simply wrong, arguably justifiably bigoted. I don’t think bigotry on (race or) creed is justified however. I speak from experience on this matter but if you don’t like personal testimony and prefer hard data, you can do the math. Spiritual woo or claims of being a prophet or the messiah himself, as another commenter related, ie hyperreligiosity are a classic symptom of bipolar mania. Worship within well…

No, I'm not wrong. The only "solid" conclusions I can draw over the last hundreds of years are the systemic abuses, the bigotry and the hate that emanates from the practice of every major religion. Religion has irreparably harmed society, and only recently have we finally begun to eschew the completely unnecessary worship of sky beings in favor of experiencing reality for what it is. That doesn't mean we have to aban…

You and I will disagree because, in my opinion, you ignore data and draw conclusion that stem from your own bigotry rather than an objective view of available information. Also, you should become friends with more Jews, Muslims, Christian’s, Buddhists and ask them whether their religion is a net positive in their lives. You may learn your perspective is narrow and poorly informed by people’s lived experience.
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