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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#271

Post by cl42 »

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality.

The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and nature to which he gives the names of gods, and has learned that he is mortal.

But the man of age, if he plays his assigned role properly, must see life as a comedy. For his triumphs and his failures merge, and one is no more the occasion for pride or shame than the other; and he is neither the hero who proves himself against those forces, nor the protagonist who is destroyed by them.

- John Williams in Augustus

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#272

Post by AlwaysRock »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

I felt the same as you for several years in my mid 20s and drank a lot/did a lot of drugs to cope with it.

I came out of that haze realizing that the point of it, at least for me, is to spend time doing things I enjoy and spend time with people I love.

Making a mark on the world? Not my main focus. Making the lives of the people I care about better? Very important.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#273

Post by aaaaaaaaata »

xvector wrote: post #52
aaaaaaaaata wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

New puppy's behavior is easily confused as such. It's closer to the truth that we're probably just not supposed to live this way.

As someone with ADHD - our society places a high value on being a “focused worker bee.” Individuals with ADHD do not fit this mold, even if they bring value with increased curiosity, inquisitiveness, and creativity. I think ADHD is a genetic trait that was evolutionarily selected for, and individuals with it made effective explorers, inventors, and creators, providing substantial benefit to humanity. It is an explore…

You can't judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree,

but all we pay for is tree-climbing!, between the hours of 8 and 5.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#274

Post by teamtestbot »

cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

Man, I feel like I skipped those Middle Years and went straight to living my life one meme at a time after college.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#275

Post by antattack »

Draiken wrote: post #235
matthewdgreen wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…

So is this the famous mid-life crisis everyone talks about? I never assumed this was it because I don't explicitly think about mortality all that much. I don't particularly mind that I'm going to die. I also haven't bought a Harley or have the will to do anything of the sorts. Guess I just have to figure out how to come out of it. It's been a slog and right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, hehe.

Midlife crisis is when you realize that 'midlife crisis' was a lie and there's nothing 'mid' about it, and that you have only 10-20 more years left of denying that you are mortal.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#276

Post by nkotov »

I know it's cliche to say but for me, I was always driven by personal fulfillment. My definition of personal fulfillment changed almost every year since I was 20.

At 20, I wanted to be a VP at a company by 25. At 21, I wanted and then bought a motorcycle and then later crashed on it. At 22, I wanted to and got to work for a startup. At 23, I got married and got to six figure salary and was hoping to buy a house. At 24, I bought a house, got a dog, and wanted to start a company. At 25, we had a kid and I started a company. At 26, I wanted and got into YC. At 27, I pivoted the company and we ran out of runway. I'm turning 28 in a couple of weeks and decided to slow things down for a couple of months but ended up accepting a cofounding offer to build something else.

Every year brought many sad and happy days. There were slow days where I felt I was wasting my life away and there were many fulfilling days where I felt like I accomplished a lot. I really believe that life is what you make it. Having dreams is fine but unless you're working towards them every single day, they will remain as dreams.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#277

Post by slowroll »

otikik wrote: post #238
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

> I could try to focus on my hobbies, but you realize very quickly that to get good at anything, you need hundreds/thousands of hours. The point of hobbies is not "getting good at them". It's enjoying them for their own sake. Otherwise they turn into ... work. > I'm just a blip in the universe and when I'm gone it will be unchanged, the same as if I had never existed. Yes. The Universe doesn't expect or have any spec…

It sounds like the idea of “the universe has no plan for you” really didn’t help considering you needed therapy

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#278

Post by screenbreakout »

mvdwoord wrote: post #251
swat535 wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta was once asked during an interview how did you manage to help so many people? Her reply was: "I just started with one person". You don't need to look far to find someone who is hungry; sure many people on this orange site may not be hungry of food but I bet there are many who starved of love. It really doesn't take much to offer an ear to someone in this lonely day and age. Perhaps it'…

Mother Teresa may not be the best example here.

Could you be more specific as to why? I'm sure you have a crunchy anecdote to share :-)

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#279

Post by sillysaurusx »

teamtestbot wrote: post #274
cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

Man, I feel like I skipped those Middle Years and went straight to living my life one meme at a time after college.

All of 4chan did. It seems optimal for most people.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#280

Post by dagw »

chasd00 wrote: post #242
dagw wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I'm 43 and I'm feeling that I'm only now just hitting my stride, career wise, with good idea what I'm actually good at, want to do and can contribute. 20-40 was basically floundering around, trying things, learning things and working out what I wanted to do when I 'grew up'. And looking back, I wouldn't want to have had it any other way.

It's like the stopping problem or "secretary problem". When you have the time ( 20s, 30s) try as many different things as you can. In your 40s and 50s narrow and cash in. "cash in" doesn't have to mean literal cash but could be a metaphor for happiness or contentment.

I'd never thought of seeing life/career planning as a version of the secretary problem, but it makes sense. Cool!
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