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Under the skin of OnlyFans

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Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#271

Post by throwdiscussion »

tomp wrote: post #251
emptysongglass wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife who is a sex worker is in therapy provided by her camsite because the work is so toxic. She was as pro-sex-work as you can be when she first started five years ago. It's majority trauma and I have to hear the stories every day. The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible. So they drive in, maybe critique her appearance, say, "tits" or "ass" (usual…

> The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible This cannot be true. Anyone can find ample porn online (definitely enough to cum) for free. Therefore it follows that people engaging with OnlyFans and other paid-for porn services must be getting something else out of it - the illusion of an intimate (two-way) relationship, the feeling of dominance (uttering…

I'm not so sure that novelty is far fetched, speaking from my own experiences.

My porn tastes are not fully mainstream, but not far off the path either. You can definitely hit a point where it feels like every clip that matches your interests is one you've seen before. Every actor is one you've seen before. When visiting Pornhub or similar I noticed myself going straight for the "sort by newest" option more often.

And that's why I went to Chaturbate for the first time, because it's live video I've never seen before.

Chaturbate and other live cam sites have their own issues...the two-way stuff can be pretty creepy in both directions. But it is always fresh video and that is its own attraction, even with what seems like an endless sea of porn available.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#272

Post by JohnWhigham »

galgalesh wrote: post #247
Bayart wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>we should expect and accept that people are violent to them? Accept no, expect absolutely. Which is why boundaries and control mechanisms are needed, the removal of which is the entire premise of OnlyFans. >I mean, chat shows are pretty much the same thing, an illusion of a social relationship, but we don't accept stalkers on those platforms? Are you referring to Twitch ? That's not the same thing, at all. Sex isn't…

> Sex isn't a minor variable. It re-frames the entire problem in a context where people lose the ability to appropriately parse and manage their para-social relationships What is the reason people lose the ability to appropriately parse and manage themselves in the context of sex?

What is the reason people lose the ability to appropriately parse and manage themselves in the context of sex?

Because you've lost the context of what sex is and what it has been in society, and in humanity as a whole. Sex is inherently primal, bestial, even brutal in nature. We've been trained over hundreds of thousands of years to build ourselves up to it and in return we get rewarded with brain chemicals and the continuation of our species. You can't just expect to rewire millions of years of evolutionary drive and wrap it up in a cute discrete transaction. You're ludicrous for even trying. Every job has its occupational hazards. These the hazards of selling your crotch online. Either accept it, or move on. Stop trying to frame it as some sort of empowering path when in reality peoples' lives just get ruined.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#273

Post by sneak »

AKSucks wrote: post #226
ayngg wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think in general there are some pretty big costs that aren't fully understood to doing sex work, even outside of the social stigma of being found out by your friends and family, there are mental health costs that are often not talked about. A lot of sex workers overtly reinforce social behaviors towards women (sexualization and objectification among other things) in order to appeal to men, which hurts them in the l…

Can we please not use the term "sex worker" for people who do not face the vast majority of risks (health/physical, financial, legal-of-the-criminal-sort, and emotional) that someone who actually engages in sex with other people for money does? You (generally speaking) cannot get infected with STIs, pregnant, assaulted, raped, drugged, stabbed, murdered, convicted, jailed - for being a camgirl. You (generally speakin…

> You (generally speaking) cannot get infected with STIs, pregnant, assaulted, raped, drugged, stabbed, murdered, convicted, jailed - for being a camgirl.

This is not really a true statement.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#274

Post by Telemakhos »

emptysongglass wrote: post #183
stared wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> there are mental health costs that are often not talked about On the contrary, everyone is talking about mental costs, implying that they do not know what they are doing. I know a person who changed her work from being a cashier at a supermarket to a sex worker. Mentally, she benefited a lot. In one job, she felt like an automaton serving people. I other she had personal relationships with her clients. You can gues…

My wife who is a sex worker is in therapy provided by her camsite because the work is so toxic. She was as pro-sex-work as you can be when she first started five years ago. It's majority trauma and I have to hear the stories every day. The men who drive by want to cum as fast as possible with as little damage to their pocketbook as possible. So they drive in, maybe critique her appearance, say, "tits" or "ass" (usual…

This isn't going to be a welcome question or politically correct, but why do you let your wife continue to engage in something that is "majority trauma" and that makes her need therapy?

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#275

Post by scrollaway »

roca wrote: post #194
SilverRed wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered the alternative that this is not an evil which you are unable to control but just another way of living / thinking of sexual content? There is nothing inherently evil about this stuff so why is it terrible that it is becoming more accepted/common? If in 30 years we live in a society where people post nudes like they do facebook posts, is there anything wrong about this? Could you describe the harm…

We've been doing a decades-long experiment to test whether getting rid of the stigma makes porn harmless. So far, the results aren't good. But for the sake of science apparently we have to run the experiment to the end.

Results aren't good according to... You?

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#276

Post by dmpk2k »

nightcracker wrote: post #121
rafale wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The way I read it is that each generation is pushing the limit of freedoms. Sounds good if we stop right there... But is it? When does it become bad? Should a parent be accepting that their daughter opens an OF when she turns 18? Should society be accepting of it as a side "gig economy" kind of job? How about the boys who are usually on the consumers/payers end? We are monetizing intimacy and sex at a level like noth…

> The way I read it is that each generation is pushing the limit of freedoms. [..] But is it? When does it become bad? Every generation since the history of time in this situation has asked this question themselves and has consistently answered wrong. Nothing good has ever come from a previous generation suppressing a later generation's right to self-determination. > Like the parent said, maybe I am just getting old.…

> and has consistently answered wrong

"Consistently" is too strong a word. We have ended up where we are today, but let's not pretend societies didn't explore a lot of dead ends along the way. Sometimes very destructive dead ends, with many dead.

Nor can we state that today is the "best of all possible worlds", and that we wouldn't have ended up somewhere better had the advice of elders been heeded more often.

This is a case of survivorship bias.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#278

Post by scrollaway »

Joker_vD wrote: post #225
michaelt wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People make choices I wouldn't recommend all the time. I don't recommend becoming a single parent at 16 and dropping out of school. But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. I don't recommend joining the army and getting shot at in some afghan village at some septuagenarian senator's say-so. But I can respect people who choose to serve. I don't recommend taking on a lifetime o…

> But I can respect the strength, determination and shouldering of responsibilities. Ah, yes, creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable. Many people seem to expect that they will be somehow rewarded, one way or another, for their self-sacrifice, but of course they don't: "sacrifice" is just something you throw away; if you were supposed to get something in retur…

> creating the problems for yourself and then heroically prevailing over them, how very commendable.

Such an arrogant comment. Not only did you completely miss the point of the GP's post, but you're showcasing a bunch of disdain for people simply making mistakes and fixing them.

I have no words. None that abide by the guidelines, at least.

Re: Under the skin of OnlyFans

#279

Post by [deleted] »

brazzy wrote: post #231
blippage wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I feel like these dangerous aspects of sex work are often ignored in the current zeitgeist of de-stigmatizing, I agree entirely. I heard of one young lady who started an OnlyFans, apparently did quite well, but decided to stop it because of the psychic damage. I'm going to be heavily downvoted for this, but I'm going to say it anyway ... We need to stop all the bullshit about how it empowers women. Certain sections…

You're making the implicit assumption that sex work is always inherently exploitative. That is a common assumption shared both by social conservatives who think any sex outside marriage is wrong anyway, and certain feminist circles who seem to have a problem with seeing male sexuality as anything but a threat. But I don't think that assumption is correct. Sure, sex work can be exploitative, and it often is. But it do…

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