What If You Could Do It All Over? • Hacker News Board

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#271

Post by fy20 » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 7:52 AM UTC

Last year I had my first kid, and it has really got me thinking about a lot of things in life including whether I want to continue my career in software developer. Sure the pay is good, it's a pretty cushy job (compared to something like a labourer), and I feel I'm pretty good at what I do... but I wish for something more fulfilling.

I just feel that in my career path, all my jobs have been about making other people (investors) more money and extracting value from markets rather than building something truly valuable to the world. I did actually work in a stint at an NGO, but that was so filled with a bureaucracy and wasting money I had to go back to a for-profit company.

I'm feeling that maybe I should leave the software engineering career and do something completely different (what I don't know), but I'd still like to do programming on the side. I just fell into this career as it was what I was good at.

How anyone here been at a similar cross roads in life? Which path did you choose?

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#272

Post by oivaksef » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:09 AM UTC

MaximumYComb wrote: post #194

dorchadas wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who feels like I've wasted most of my 20s since graduating university (turning 29 in 2021) with a job(s) I don't see any future in, man this hits hard. My lack of risk taking, and an unfortunately timed death in the family in 2016, really are me sitting there watching these figs dry up. Damn.

I wasted my 20's and got diagnosed with cancer at 30. It changed my perspective quite a bit and so far my 30's have been the best time of my life.

I would love to hear more

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#273

Post by Jaxtek » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:14 AM UTC

I am in my early 20s and in my first job.This thread is eye-opening.I am gonna pay my loans,quit the job and build (or start) something.I didn't know if it's the right thing to do.But after reading this thread,I feel like I am in the right path.Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#274

Post by galeos » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:17 AM UTC

Ken Grimwood's book 'Replay' [1] tackles this subject, with the story of a man who is able to relive his life and take different paths.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/dp/068816112X

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#275

Post by MaximumYComb » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:24 AM UTC

oivaksef wrote: post #272

MaximumYComb wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wasted my 20's and got diagnosed with cancer at 30. It changed my perspective quite a bit and so far my 30's have been the best time of my life.

I would love to hear more

The initial diagnosis was crap. Add in some surgery and the diagnosis improved dramatically, different type. As far as a cancer diagnosis goes I got off really well in the end.

It was the initial stage where I felt I had a death sentence that shifted my outlook on life. When you think you're going to die you re-evaluate some things. I looked at my life, thought about what I'd regret, and made 5 year plans to get things on track. I'm now in the habit of setting plans for 5 years to ensure I don't regret the life I do have.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#276

Post by rklaehn » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:26 AM UTC

I wasted a lot of time in my life. I was into C++ programming many years before the first dotcom boom. But I did not really profit from it. Instead I studied for many years, then slacked off for a few years, and only started working full time as a software engineer at the age of 30, working on satellite operations and the ground system of the international space station.

I could have been a millionaire many times over if I had realised how valuable my skills at the age of 16, 18, 20 were.

On the other hand, only due to my weird, suboptimal path through life did I meet my wife, which is for me a global optimum. I literally can not think of anybody I would rather spend the rest of my life with.

Now I work at a startup at an age where most software engineers in SV are retiring. So it's all good.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#277

Post by ekianjo » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:28 AM UTC

bmc7505 wrote: post #222

acwan93 wrote: post #8

This reminds me of “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, which has a quote Aziz Ansari used in his series “Master of None”: > "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor,…

This reminds me of a speculative fiction story by Ted Chiang called "Anxiety is the Dizziness of Freedom" which imagines an expendable device that gives users the ability to contact alternate versions of themselves in other branches, and explores the moral and psychological consequences of learning about those outcomes: https://onezero.medium.com/anxiety-is-the-dizziness-of-freed...

sounds like Stein's;Gate

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#278

Post by rochak » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:28 AM UTC

rklaehn wrote: post #276

I wasted a lot of time in my life. I was into C++ programming many years before the first dotcom boom. But I did not really profit from it. Instead I studied for many years, then slacked off for a few years, and only started working full time as a software engineer at the age of 30, working on satellite operations and the ground system of the international space station. I could have been a millionaire many times ove…

It all works out in the end, I guess. If it hasn’t, it isn’t the end.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#279

Post by rochak » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:31 AM UTC

Jaxtek wrote: post #273

I am in my early 20s and in my first job.This thread is eye-opening.I am gonna pay my loans,quit the job and build (or start) something.I didn't know if it's the right thing to do.But after reading this thread,I feel like I am in the right path.Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts.

I am glad you are attending to your calling, but do take time to analyse everything - pros and cons - before making any rash decisions.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#280

Post by rochak » Sun, Dec 27, 2020, 8:34 AM UTC

darren_ wrote: post #241

“Did you ever wonder what life would have been like if you’d said yes?” said Ridcully. “No.” “I suppose we’d have settled down, had children, grandchildren, that sort of thing…” “What about the fire?” she said. “What fire?” “Swept through our house just after we were married. Killed us both.” “What fire? I don’t know anything about any fire!” Granny turned around. “Of course not! It didn’t happen. But the point is, i…

Haha. This is exactly the kind of mindset I am trying to develop. I have spent a lot of my past overanalysing things and it has almost never helped me. All I got was tension, loss of hair and dark circles. I am going through the book “The Power if Letting Go” and it is fantastic.