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People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

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Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#271

Post by asdfman123 »

Loughla wrote: post #232
thebean11 wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure about that, at least in my workplace some of the people considered the smartest and best engineers are very quite, almost shy.

I have the opposite experience. I work in higher education, at an institution full of very smart, very talented people. There's a mix of both extroverted and introverted. The extroverts are all moving up the chain, while the (generally more talented) introverts stagnate earlier in their careers. I'm sure there's something there to study, but I'm also sure I don't know what it is.

Keep in mind "extroverted" does not mean socially skilled.

My fiancee is a social ace. She knows how to make everyone feel good and always has a big smile. She connects deeply with people.

But when she's done she has to spent the next three days binge watching The Wire to recover.

A lot of introverts are very socially skilled, they just require time to get their energy back.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#272

Post by Izkata »

RookyNumbas wrote: post #162
asveikau wrote: post #142

> Should I learn to make pasta from scratch? No, that’s crazy. Nobody cares if you can make pasta from scratch and it’s not going to make any money. I stared at this for a long time in complete disbelief thinking "But it's so delicious!" And I guess, if you do it for friends or acquaintances it will give you prestige, you will be the prestigious person who makes totally awesome pasta. Although personally I would rank…

I feel somewhat sorry for the author. He ends the post with the realization that the search for success has not turned out like he was led to believe, and then questions how he should proceed with life. My advice would be to go make pasta and share it with a beautiful woman (or man in his case).

> (or man in his case)

Well, there is that saying, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach".

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#273

Post by vkou »

bendotero wrote: post #267
vkou wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But you'll care a hell of a lot about what other people think of you when that thinking is the difference between having food on the table for your kids, or seeing them go hungry. That's generally why people give so much of a shit about resume values.

But this is such a false dichotomy. The daily choice is not between providing for your children or being a jerk to your fellow man. There is a balance that ought to be struck between not caring about what other people think of you and caring deeply about how we treat other people.

It's only a false dichotomy, in the sense that it was presented by Brooks.

Nothing about chasing resume skills precludes you from being a decent human being. But there's also nothing shocking about people focusing on employable values, early in their lives.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#274

Post by cafard »

jacobolus wrote: post #264
bumby wrote: post #168

From David Brooks: "I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being — whether you are kind, brave,…

Was David Brooks dumping his wife of 3 decades for his 2-decades-younger research assistant and then writing passive-aggressive columns in the NYT about how people abandoned by their spouses should suck it up and stop bothering them an example of résumé virtuous or eulogy virtuous?

I knew about the wives, but did he in fact write such columns? I read the NY Times, but seldom Brooks's columns.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#275

Post by netsharc »

diehunde wrote: post #190
bumby wrote: post #168

From David Brooks: "I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being — whether you are kind, brave,…

I prefer to focus on the virtues that bring happiness and joy to my life while I'm alive. Money is one of those things. I don't care about what people will say at my funeral because I won't be there. If being brave and honest makes you happy and brings joy to your life then go for it. If the challenges of becoming a billionaire is what makes you feel alive, then go for it.

But those virtues make one likable, and sometimes people give people they like things like investment capital. Or party invites where you can have fun and network.

Of course in today's world you get the social butterflies/climbers who fake all that shit to get the same stuff, and to get, as the article says, status and prestige.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#276

Post by blitmap »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #269
jacobolus wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Was David Brooks dumping his wife of 3 decades for his 2-decades-younger research assistant and then writing passive-aggressive columns in the NYT about how people abandoned by their spouses should suck it up and stop bothering them an example of résumé virtuous or eulogy virtuous?

Following your heart is a virtue. Writing about it bluntly, doubly so. Is one not free to leave a spouse for someone else? Regardless of age (assuming everyone is a consenting adult!)? I give credit to those who live their life intentionally. You only get one. If you’re unhappy, pull the sails and head towards happiness. Valid point to not be a dick about it though (I haven’t read to know if these articles you mentio…

It is really hard to invest in this line of thinking, but to live 'intentionally' is something admirable.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#277

Post by jacobolus »

cafard wrote: post #274
jacobolus wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Was David Brooks dumping his wife of 3 decades for his 2-decades-younger research assistant and then writing passive-aggressive columns in the NYT about how people abandoned by their spouses should suck it up and stop bothering them an example of résumé virtuous or eulogy virtuous?

I knew about the wives, but did he in fact write such columns? I read the NY Times, but seldom Brooks's columns.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/03/opinion/david-brooks-leav...

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#278

Post by joelbluminator »

Read a research that said above a certain amount of money (75K yearly or so) you won't be any happier. What makes us happy is finding meaning in relationships and the work we do (meaning, not money). If what you do feels important to you , odds are you are happier. If you work for Google but struggle to find any meaning in your work odds are you aren't that much happier than the average cop or teacher. Marriage and kids can help but are not the only way to get there.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#279

Post by grandmczeb »

joelbluminator wrote: post #278

Read a research that said above a certain amount of money (75K yearly or so) you won't be any happier. What makes us happy is finding meaning in relationships and the work we do (meaning, not money). If what you do feels important to you , odds are you are happier. If you work for Google but struggle to find any meaning in your work odds are you aren't that much happier than the average cop or teacher. Marriage and k…

That study is extremely misunderstood and frankly the idea that money isn’t correlated to happiness after some moderate income level (e.g. 75k) is flat out not supported by evidence.

https://www.vox.com/2015/6/20/8815813/orange-is-the-new-blac...

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#280

Post by toomuchtodo »

blitmap wrote: post #276
toomuchtodo wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Following your heart is a virtue. Writing about it bluntly, doubly so. Is one not free to leave a spouse for someone else? Regardless of age (assuming everyone is a consenting adult!)? I give credit to those who live their life intentionally. You only get one. If you’re unhappy, pull the sails and head towards happiness. Valid point to not be a dick about it though (I haven’t read to know if these articles you mentio…

It is really hard to invest in this line of thinking, but to live 'intentionally' is something admirable.

Maximize your happiness while minimizing the suffering you cause. You will cause suffering, even if unintentional, this is the human condition. “Mindful hedonism” if you will.

Life has many chapters. Celebrate the joy, happiness, and success there was, mourn your losses and failures, then move on. This too shall pass.

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