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Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

gavinray97.github.io

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Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#261

Post by regularmother »

Thanks for sharing this story and congratulations on finding a way back up. So many people never do.

> people willing to judge me by what I could do next instead of only by what I had done before

I think this is a really tragic take so common in the United States. It feels like, at least to me, that societal trust has broken down so much that people are broadly unwilling to take a chance on anyone.

Jail is supposed to mean you paid your debt to society. It's supposed to say 'okay, you've made a mistake, have had time to ruminate on it, now go forth and prosper.' It's not retribution or vengeance, or at least it shouldn't be - especially for non-violent crimes.

I'm truly glad you were fortunate and strong enough to climb out. I wish that this was a more common story.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#262

Post by fc417fc802 »

dadpassthebeans wrote: post #253
fc417fc802 wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Grade schools seem all right in the US. My experience (and impression of others) is that sure, it's incredibly good by certain very basic metrics but that doesn't mean all participants find it desirable or even tolerable. I slogged through it for no reason other than that's just what was expected and I didn't see any realistic alternative but in retrospect I think I would have been better off dropping out and atten…

> I slogged through it for no reason other than that's just what was expected and I didn't see any realistic alternative but in retrospect I think I would have been better off dropping out and attending a community college (of course I could be wildly wrong about that) This is exactly where I zagged. To this day, I still think avoiding college was the best decision I've made in life. Both from the POV of finances and…

I was referring to K-12 there, not beyond. I found that I was much more compatible with the format, environment, and culture of academia and got a lot out of doing a bachelors. I expect I would have been better off omitting the US K-12 experience to the extent possible.

That said I also felt that many of the people I encountered there most likely weren't gaining enough for it to be worth the cost in time, money, and effort. I know some people who went the trade route straight out of highschool and provided that jobs were available it seems to have been a very good choice for most of them.

> Feel very lucky I spent those years YOLO'ing it and not in front of a screen.

Even in a STEM program I only spent a small fraction of study time in front of a screen. That said, the degree was indeed a huge time commitment overall.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#263

Post by beernet »

mapassthebeans wrote: post #148

Had similarly unorthodox path to tech, albeit without the drug addiction or prison. 90s early internet/BBS punk rocker/computer nerd. Hated school angry. Dropped out to work as a bike messenger for 5 years before packing a bag and moving west randomly. Couldn't sit still. Rode freight trains around the country for a few months. Washed dishes and landscaped to cover my cheap rent till that fell thru. Discovered shop l…

> albeit without the drug addiction or prison.

No disrespect, but this is not at all comparable to the situation described in the article. A few nights sleeping on the streets is much (!) easier when not addicted to substances.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#264

Post by stringfood »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #70
stringfood wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

the secret is to hate drinking and never drink

That would make sense, wouldn't it? "Just say no"? Sadly, it doesn't work. If you're an addict, you'll end up manifesting in one way, or many ways. Drugs aren't the only way that it expresses itself. I hate alcohol. I always have. The taste makes me sick. The best way to ruin a dessert, is to pour expensive booze on it. That didn't stop me from becoming a prize-winning lush, though. The thing about addiction, is that…

I am recovering alcoholic and almost have two years sober but I can only imagine how hard it would be to quit if you loved alcohol, I hated it but was just physically addicted or something, just could not stop it was too fun, I have to use thc only now which has its own issues but will not affect my health in same way as alcohol did. Alcohol is too fun for me and hurts my family a lot

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#265

Post by vortegne »

muragekibicho wrote: post #59

Extreme mental clarity in "Eventually, she told me that it made more sense for me to quit my job while she worked, so that I could spend all of my free time trying to get another tech job". I could've never imagined long-term-thinking like this from a former addict.

> I could've never imagined long-term-thinking like this from a former addict.

Nothing personal, but you are part of the problem here. You are why these stories are so rare and difficult to achieve. Not out of malice on your part, most likely. But addicts are not humans to you. Please rethink some things.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#267

Post by stringfood »

zuzululu wrote: post #246
stringfood wrote: post #204

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The worldwide death penalty you're endorsing still kills him at 19, so you're commending a redemption your own proposal would have prevented.

You dont care that a drug traffiker kills/destroys countless lives? Why not apply the same empathy for terrorists? Maybe they can turn their life around too.

A 14-year-old addict reselling Adderall to classmates to feed his own habit isn't a 'trafficker' who 'destroyed countless lives'

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#268

Post by zuzululu »

stringfood wrote: post #267
zuzululu wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You dont care that a drug traffiker kills/destroys countless lives? Why not apply the same empathy for terrorists? Maybe they can turn their life around too.

A 14-year-old addict reselling Adderall to classmates to feed his own habit isn't a 'trafficker' who 'destroyed countless lives'

IF you read the full story that was his gate way drug and he graduated into selling hard drugs so he could use harder drugs.

It's incredibly sad to see people not realize that drugs can do enormous harm just as a terrorist would inflict upon the population.

The fact that people here are upset that other countries recognize the enormity of going easy on drug pushers but show no empathy for victims of drug use is quite telling.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#269

Post by coldtea »

estearum wrote: post #69
coldtea wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's hardly any given. You can just ride properly. In other countries they are a huge means of transport.

True. If you ride properly, then everyone else on the road is not allowed to hit you by the laws of physics.

Like how if you ride in a car, or a bicycle, or walk as a pedestrian, then everyone else on the road is not allowed to hit you by the laws of physics.

"Oh, but this is acceptable risk"

Well, for billions, a motorcycle is too.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#270

Post by xarope »

zuzululu wrote: post #23
vijucat wrote: post #2

I love such stories. Right now, a lot of folks I know are struggling to find jobs, so I read the part about how he got a job the first day he was out of jail with some astonishment and nostalgia for the simpler days, when showing interest was often enough to land the job! Now, hoop number 1, the AI resume filter, is a strange obstacle that one has to jump through first.

[flagged]

part of this I understand is survival. And I understand why you do this.

The other part of this is why it's so frustrating for me to find the right person. Everybody's resume looks perfect for the role, and I have to waste 30-45 mins digging into their actual experience. You have done yourself a great disservice by wasting that time sitting in an interview you were not qualified for, and worse still I always feel there are other, more qualified people, who I have missed/passed over their resume since it wasn't AI tuned.

Sincerely, I don't know how t make this better.

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