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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#261

Post by presentation »

the__alchemist wrote: post #112

This doesn't match my experience at all, starting from the beginning. Many go to cafes alone to read, work, study etc. Seating set up for this, including small tables and bars. That's one of their biggest draws. With large fluctuations, I estimate ~30%. I suspect this depends on the location, given this contrast. It seems the Author might be from Delaware, USA? I haven't been to any coffee shops there. Maybe this is…

Yeah, I live in Japan and going to cafes to basically have a meditative experience is the norm if anything.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#262

Post by performative »

spudlyo wrote: post #258
throwtt4er5 wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I appreciated the author’s writing format. For example, I read your first four sentences/paragraphs. When I got to your last paragraph, it was so long that I started skimming halfway and then just gave up. I think a mix and match of small paragraphs and single line sentences for emphasis is a pretty good writing format for holding my attention, but I can see how others might be annoyed by it.

Yeah, I should have split the final paragraph into two, but I kept it long thinking it would be a funny contrast; it wasn't. In retrospect, it probably would have been better not to have made fun of the poster's style at all. I also find it annoying when commenters complain about trivial stylistic issues in folks' writing rather than engaging with the substance.

eh, i'd rather have fun with rhetoric and do some light poking (even if it doesn't land sometimes) than nothing at all!

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#263

Post by ffuxlpff »

bradlys wrote: post #248
sublinear wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That situation sounds like fun! You let your friend(s) pick something for you. This frees you to do more spontaneous things and keep the social energy flowing. I've personally done this even when there was a printed menu and eating wasn't the point. I think people need to really lighten up sometimes.

Good luck doing this with any romantic partner.

I'd say you're auditioning to be my new mom anyway.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#264

Post by presentation »

bdangubic wrote: post #132
echelon_musk wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why?

you do not need a gym to work out so it is just a waste of money. I used to have membership at Bally’s when I was single but that was for meeting girls, not for working out. I don’t understand people paying money to go to gyms these days for the purposes of working out

Well I couldn't do my workouts without a gym of some sort. Hard to find hundreds of pounds of resistance attached to cables I can align with muscles I want to work, just lying around the house (though now I transitioned to a home gym with a Beyond Power Voltra, and now that is lying around my house! But as I mentioned in the other comment, living spaces in Tokyo are small, so I paid a lot to get the most space-efficient setup I could come up with, and even with this I still envy some of the specialized equipment available at good commercial gyms).

It really depends on what kind of workouts you're talking about and what your constraints are outside the gym. Though I acknowledge many people are just on autopilot, get gym memberships they won't really use effectively, and waste their time and money.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#265

Post by presentation »

bdangubic wrote: post #191
ghaff wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not that I've ever belonged to one but I understand people wanting access to various equipment or even a swimming pool. Personally, I prefer to walk/hike but I understand that isn't enough for everyone.

I am not “buying” this… if craigslist or facebook marketplace you can buy any equipment you desire dirt cheap (from new year’s resolutions done unfullfilled). pool has always been vacant or filled with senior citizen classes etc when I used to go and I doubt this has changed. I do not have any numbers to back this up but my gut feel tells me less than 10% of people that have gym memberships go to the gym more than on…

I live in Tokyo, most people live in tiny spaces and can't just have a bunch of dirt cheap weightlifting equipment lying around their homes simply because there isn't space for that.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#266

Post by mberning » 

  > There were a few moments I put  my hand into my pocket to take out my phone to look up something I was curious about. My phone wasn’t there.
My dad smoked for decades and when he tried to quit his hand would instinctively go to his pocket dozens of times a day.

That is the level that smartphone addiction is on. Literally ruining peoples lives.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#267

Post by mrmuagi »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Enduring boredom is the antithesis of mindless doomscrolling.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#268

Post by huevosabio »

I used to do this every now and then. I would leave my phone at home and take a book and a notebook to a coffee shop and sit and sip. I would read if I felt like it, or write, or just plain stare. I also chose cafes that were a hit of a walk away.

It was absolutely glorious. I got to think my own thoughts, get bored, get into conversations with random people.

I should do it more often.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#269

Post by gerdesj »

I have noticed that the young 'uns are quietly rebelling against the way things are. This is another example.

OP is considering going off social grid as they understand it ... OK, dumping doom-scrolling and sitting in a cafe alone and being obviously alone and then looking around and noticing things.

That sort of "interaction" used to be normal. Having a billion people within ear shot was not normal until about 15 years ago.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#270

Post by 0_____0 »

2ap wrote: post #169
cm2012 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Part of my job, is that I design protocols to help young children lie in MRI scanners for a living. We have all sorts of techniques to help with this. However, for each new scanning protocol, I like to have had it myself - so I know what the children go through. And, at times lying inside a MRI scanner, detached from the world, with only the noise of the scanner (very reduced with our new noise cancelling headphones)…

Doing something where you get to say "bugger everything" and just do what you're doing for a while is amazing. It's one of the things I actually like about the (otherwise not very relaxing) ultra-distance racing.

2-6 days of just riding your bike, eating, sleeping outside. Yeah it can be hard but nothing makes the MS Teams chime in the woods.

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