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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#261

Post by philipallstar »

toast0 wrote: post #147
spiralcoaster wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That makes two of us. I've never heard of (or thank god, been to) a party where a host is forcing people to move around, especially in an unnatural way. Nothing feels like a forced party more than, well, forcing.

> I've never heard of (or thank god, been to) a party where a host is forcing people to move around, especially in an unnatural way. You've never been to a party where you had dispersed throughout the location, and then the host gathered you to eat a meal or a cake (possibly singing a song prior to distributing the cake)?

> You've never been to a party where you had dispersed throughout the location, and then the host gathered you to eat a meal or a cake (possibly singing a song prior to distributing the cake)?

This isn't "an unnatural way". I don't know what the point of mischaracterising the previous comments is.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#262

Post by [deleted] »

BiteCode_dev wrote: post #201

I throw a 200+ persons party every year at halloween, and I concur with every points on this list. I'll add: if you need money but don't want to ask for it upfront, you will need to have someone to ask for it individually to each person mid party. Just having a box to collect it somewhere, or a sign with a qr code, doesn't work nearly as well. It's annoying to do, but if your party is good people react surprisingly w…

[deleted]

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#263

Post by Cthulhu_ »

utopiah wrote: post #258
Einenlum wrote: post #247

Maybe it's because I'm French and the author is American (I guess?), but this post made me anxious. Putting so many rules and so much science on something that should be fun and spontaneous feels so wrong to me. Maybe a cultural thing. But I would never go to a party hosted by someone who thinks in statistical terms and uses a dedicated app to invite guests. I admit there are a few interesting tips though. Especially…

> uses a dedicated app to invite guests What the f... just no.

If you need to use an app to manage your parties, it's a networking event. Which isn't unheard of in higher layers of society I suppose.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#264

Post by davedx »

Einenlum wrote: post #247

Maybe it's because I'm French and the author is American (I guess?), but this post made me anxious. Putting so many rules and so much science on something that should be fun and spontaneous feels so wrong to me. Maybe a cultural thing. But I would never go to a party hosted by someone who thinks in statistical terms and uses a dedicated app to invite guests. I admit there are a few interesting tips though. Especially…

Maybe it's because I'm British, but this post made me scratch my head: no mention of drugs?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#265

Post by jimnotgym »

NaOH wrote: post #244
kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

>1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Better, I've found, for compelling people to interact with others they may not know, is to assign seats. This enables separating couples or others with a preexisting connection. The act of eating offers the benefits of a subject to…

It used to be custom (in high society, not anywhere I have dimmed) to sit boy girl boy girl, and for ladies to talk to the man in their left during the first course, right during second... to keep a balanced conversation going

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#266

Post by philipallstar »

anon35 wrote: post #250
watwut wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Americans tend to think about themselves as informal/loose, but they evolved to be very formal and structural, in reality. Tend to like a lot of formal rules about everything. If you look at Latin American movies, they themselves are different then American movies and show different culture. They are not the exact copy of their cultures of original, but they certainly show quite different social behavior and values.

> Tend to like a lot of formal rules about everything. I would amend to: what Americans don't like to accept are what they see as preventable mistakes. The least American sentiment of all is "shit happens". Americans sometimes say that, but they don't mean it. What they really mean: "this shit shouldn't be allowed to happen". Hence the rules, and (in the extreme) the litigiousness.

> what Americans don't like to accept are what they see as preventable mistakes

Most high-achieving societies are this way.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#267

Post by dominostars »

teiferer wrote: post #213
baby wrote: post #56

I've organized so many parties that I feel qualified to comment here :D (actually sorry but the other commens I've read feel silly). Love the number one advice of the post: focusing on yourself having a good time. Although the more you organize the easier it gets. > 5) Use an app like Partiful or Luma I refuse to use an event page personally because I think it makes it less personal. I always DM people directly if I…

> always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing Why is it that alcohol seems to be a necessary ingredient to people having a good time? Or at least everybody assumes this to be the case? Why is nobody able to be themselves and relax and have fun without being intoxicated, mildly or more? Serious question, I don't get it.

People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are.

Getting drunk helps people feel uninhibited from all of that. There are a million other ways to feel safer with new people, but drinking happens to be extremely easy and quick.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#268

Post by citizenpaul »

iansimon wrote: post #113

I'm already out after Rule 1 (prioritize your ease of being). If I prioritized my ease of being I wouldn't throw a party in the first place.

This list is for little dinner parties held by women.

I could tell a woman write this at 11 "gender balance." No, just no. If you are a man thowring a party the one and only concern you have is throwing every bit of effort at making sure women will show up and not be outnumbered 2:1 or worse by guys. They will all leave and the reputation will forever ruin your chances of having women show up in the future. They talk.

If you are a man throwing a party you have to actively turn away other men. There is no other way. You have to rotate bouncing duty.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#269

Post by lurk2 »

BiteCode_dev wrote: post #201

I throw a 200+ persons party every year at halloween, and I concur with every points on this list. I'll add: if you need money but don't want to ask for it upfront, you will need to have someone to ask for it individually to each person mid party. Just having a box to collect it somewhere, or a sign with a qr code, doesn't work nearly as well. It's annoying to do, but if your party is good people react surprisingly w…

> if you need money but don't want to ask for it upfront, you will need to have someone to ask for it individually to each person mid party.

If someone invited me to a party and asked for money after I arrived I would in all likelihood never speak with that person ever again.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#270

Post by Cthulhu_ »

bluGill wrote: post #68
buildsjets wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say a different era rather than a different reality. The Dave Barry quote is obviously humor. But back from the late 1980s to the early 2000s, I was genuinely at numerous house parties, basement concerts, and un-permitted raves which where broken up by authorities, including some where the power was cut, (or worse, where the music was cut and lights flipped on full bright) and the cops forced everyone to pile int…

> Where is that brain damage they promised us? How would you know? Sure you would know if you were walking but otherwise braindead, but if you are "5 iq points dumber" (whatever that means) or something like that you wouldn't know since there is no way to know what "might have been"

I do think some people will notice mental decline to a point - I'm nearing 40 and am nowhere near as sharp as I think I once was, for example. But would you be aware if you never had a period in your life where you did feel sharp?
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