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I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

blog.danpetrolito.xyz

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Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#261

Post by whatevertrevor »

andrewaylett wrote: post #260
whatevertrevor wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there's a mismatch of expectations which is a solid reason to pursue friendships elsewhere. I think the other party in scenarios like this probably assumes (incorrectly of course) that you appreciate the break so you can check your phone too. There's definitely something borked with our brains though. I have had multiple people express surprise when I tell them that I will not check any notifications when I'm…

In the UK, "stopped with the engine running" counts as "driving" for the purposes of smartphone use — no using your phone when stopped at the lights. Not that the rule stops some people from doing it anyway, of course.

I think it's a similar thing in Ontario, Canada (where I live), you can be fined for checking on your phone even at red lights, though there are some caveats for "operating the car" related things (for example if you're using nav on your phone).

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#263

Post by vinceguidry »

whatevertrevor wrote: post #223
vinceguidry wrote: post #175

God I'm so jealous you were able to get your friends to join Discord. My in-person friend group revolved around the bar we all went to. When the bar shut down, I floated the idea of a group chat but couldn't get anyone interested. No one wants to install another app and get notified more. In olden days, we'd just solve the problem with Facebook, but no one uses that anymore either. My friends are ordinary, normal, ov…

Sorry to hear that. FWIW it feels like there was probably a mismatch in valuation of the friendship there. For my case I was able to convince many friends to connect on various chat platforms of their choice. Some friendships fizzled out, others are still going. And then there are some anew. Unfortunately a lot of our friendships are essentially default proximity relationships. These tend to not survive as soon as th…

For me, is not a friendship unless there's regular, in person interaction, online doesn't count. Even if I'd gotten them onto another platform the only thing it would have been used for is coordinating more in person events. I've had to end online interactions because it became clear i couldn't value the relationship. Bar was perfect. Then a huge hospital opened up across the street and they didn't want a run down bar there.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#264

Post by augment_me »

udev4096 wrote: post #110

Going from signal to discord is crazy. How can you be OK with knowing that your personal voice chats are being monitored, recorded and sold to the next highest bidder? How can it be so easy to choose convenience over that? Or is it that we have essentially given up and wanna actively take a part in mass surveillance?

The trade-off here is a social connections versus privacy/integrity.

I can make the decision to use Signal or whatever, but as long as my whole social circle does not do the same, it wont be useful. And since when they do the swap, they have to convince their whole social circle to do the same, this becomes an impossible task. Either you have 10 different apps for different friends that lie on different places on the ethics of privacy, or you just take the easy way out and use what everyone uses.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#265

Post by DrillShopper »

mystifyingpoi wrote: post #188
justsomehnguy wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or just get a $5 radio doorbell. You know, when it's 'urgent, right now' you don't want to learn what you are too late because for whatever reason internet/wireless/cellular wasn't working.

This ^ anything else is just wanting to play with tech instead of solving the problem immediately. Which is fine, sure, but that radio doorbell (or better, 3 different ones for different priority levels, since it seems important) will fix the issue right now.

This project is also a reason for me to play with LoRA, hence the ESP32, but point taken, certainly.

Rather than do that I would probably hard wire it if the Internet and LoRA are not sufficient.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#266

Post by sgarland »

Dylan16807 wrote: post #242
sgarland wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They said a status board on top of their monitor, not every corner of their house. This seems like a very unobtrusive signal to me. Plus, some people like to hide or obscure their phone from their field of view during work, to minimize distractions. Honestly, the only person I immediately check my phone for is my wife. If I could have a priority indicator along with that, I’d love it. There are some things I need to…

> They said a status board on top of their monitor, not every corner of their house. No, that was someone else.

Ah, you’re correct.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#267

Post by sadeshmukh »

udev4096 wrote: post #110

Going from signal to discord is crazy. How can you be OK with knowing that your personal voice chats are being monitored, recorded and sold to the next highest bidder? How can it be so easy to choose convenience over that? Or is it that we have essentially given up and wanna actively take a part in mass surveillance?

Voice chats are e2ee, so I'm not sure where you're making this information up from.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#268

Post by emacdona »

IAmBroom wrote: post #53
dkersten wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I remember the early days of Skype and Google talk, calling random strangers and… actually having a conversation with them. I remember they were always confused and surprised to get a random call from a stranger, but were almost always happy to chat anyway!

Sounds exactly like ham radio operators.

Heh, I came here to say this when I saw the top level thread that started this comment. As far as GP is concerned:

> I remember they were always confused and surprised to get a random call from a stranger

That's probably the only thing different about Ham radio. Random calls are kinda the norm :-)

I got my license less than a year ago, and in some ways, it reminds me of the "old internet"

* Way fewer ads. In fact, in ham radio, you aren't allowed to advertise. Maybe the absolute best thing about it. Without a legislative change, there will never be (legal) ads.

* Trolls haven't taken over. If you're an ass, you could lose your license. No ham wants to lose their license.

* It's as technical as you want to make it. You can go DEEP into technical things (I haven't even scratched the surface there). You can also just get a hotspot and a handheld for a few hundred bucks and be talking to people across the world after an evenings work of configuring it all.

If you want to talk to strangers who want to talk back... and who, for the most part, aren't jerks -- get your ham radio license.

Bonuses (above and beyond the old internet):

Amateur radio clubs are everywhere. They are filled with nerds who love the hobby. They can be _very_ social -- so there is opportunity for plenty of In Real Life (IRL) interaction.

Yes, it's mostly guys, mostly over 50, and (in my experience) mostly caucasian. If you are intimidated by that, that's totally fair. But, give them a chance -- check out your local club. Most I've visited are _very_ welcoming... and they want nothing more than to get more people interested in the hobby.

[edit: formatting bullets]

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#269

Post by whatevertrevor »

vinceguidry wrote: post #263
whatevertrevor wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry to hear that. FWIW it feels like there was probably a mismatch in valuation of the friendship there. For my case I was able to convince many friends to connect on various chat platforms of their choice. Some friendships fizzled out, others are still going. And then there are some anew. Unfortunately a lot of our friendships are essentially default proximity relationships. These tend to not survive as soon as th…

For me, is not a friendship unless there's regular, in person interaction, online doesn't count. Even if I'd gotten them onto another platform the only thing it would have been used for is coordinating more in person events. I've had to end online interactions because it became clear i couldn't value the relationship. Bar was perfect. Then a huge hospital opened up across the street and they didn't want a run down ba…

Yeah the requirements are pretty much the same for me.

The friendships I was alluding to were basically in-person in-office sort of friendships that demanded a larger upkeep once the pandemic hit and later when I left my job. So like you I needed some online platform to coordinate in person meetups. It worked for the most part fortunately, but there were definitely some friendships that got lost along the way.

Re: I built something that changed my friend group's social fabric

#270

Post by johndhi »

Imustaskforhelp wrote: post #75
johndhi wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anyone know if something like this already exists I could buy or use?

I do think this is an interesting idea. Lemme see if I can do this. How do you think the UI/UX should look like. Here's what I am thinking. You sign in It asks you what you want to do And at what time (hour) in another column and (date) in another column And then it asks you the location And then we can have a contact-me: which could lead to discord or signal. Or, if you aren't comfortable sharing that info, then you…

Cool, thank you!

The UI I envisioned is that the website shows what people are doing and when. You can add activities (with a form like you descibed) - but the key is that a site will show what's going on right now and for the rest of the day. And when people add to that site, notifications go out.

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