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Quitting the rat race

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Re: Quitting the rat race

#261

Post by pickledish »

jedberg wrote: post #210
dinobones wrote: post #12

I am in my mid 20s. I have about $200k saved and I think about quitting everyday, even though it would probably be disastrous for my career. I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. Just a naive example: Buy a cheap house ($250k) and live off of…

> I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. I was/am that person. I actually did quit and retire for a while. But then I went back. Mostly out of guilt. I felt guilty not working and building up my kid's trust fund during my peak earning years. I…

(just wanted to say thanks for writing this —- I think it is sometimes hard to be honest in this way, about a hard decision, out loud, and while I’m not in the same situation as you right now, there are others who are, and in those cases it can be nice to read something like this and know you’re not alone at least!)

Re: Quitting the rat race

#262

Post by ip26 »

piecerough wrote: post #15

"The truth is: nothing I’ve done or experienced in this place has given me any experience comparable to walking along the ridge between two mountains. Nothing has made me feel alive like getting in to freezing cold water despite my body screaming at me not to. Nothing has made me feel anything like that feeling when you summit a mountain after 2 hours of solid climbing in the rain, and the clouds part to reveal the m…

Some outdoors professionals might summit the same mountain 100+ times a year. Their breath is not taken each time. Watching them, it's more like the mountain is their office. An office with plenty of nature & exercise, but the magic is largely gone.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#263

Post by doix »

BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

I was stuck in a loop of: wake up -> gym -> work -> pub(Wednesday and Fridays, sometimes Monday) -> TV with SO -> gaming, pretty much every week day. On weekends I'd either game all day or go surfing. I'd go on a ski holiday once a year and two other one week holidays with my SO.

That was my life for years. Then I changed _everything_. Quit job, broke up with my girlfriend, sold my flat and most of my possessions, different job, became a "digital nomad".

Now I'm "happy". I found a job that doesn't have all the things I hate about working. I can do sports I enjoy much more frequently, I'm not stuck in a loop where everyday is the same.

I guess I agree that _one_ thing most likely won't be the key to happiness. I think the key is figuring out what makes you happy(I think a lot of people don't know) and what makes you unhappy(this is usually easier to identify). Then doing more of the things that make you happy and less of the things that make you unhappy.

I'm not sure if that's what "happiness starts from within" means, but that's what worked for me.

Edit: I guess being happy also depends on the definition of the word. Depending on the definition, maybe I'm not happy.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#264

Post by ip26 »

TranquilMarmot wrote: post #146
ablatt89 wrote: post #24

It's a rat race if you never enjoyed software engineering and computer science from the start, and joined due to the growing SWE hype in the 2010s. Most people in the world have to work 40+ hours a week, and on weekends. It's kinda crazy to not take your career choice in perspective, which is relatively cushy, good perks, good pay, often wfh or decent offices, and call it a rat race because... you think you deserve t…

I love writing code and solving problems with it. Even if this job didn't pay well and didn't come with all the amazing benefits, I would still do it. I think a lot of software engineers need to hang out with more people who are less well off than them. Befriend the grocery store clerk, talk to the mechanic fixing your car. If you're in a bubble of wealthy people, it gets really hard to appreciate the benefits that y…

It can also help with the exceptionalism.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#265

Post by anonreeeeplor »

bumby wrote: post #192
anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

“No one is going to talk me into…” is shorthand for “I’m not open to any other ideas that don’t align with my preconceived notions.” It’s not terribly productive on a site whose guidelines try to foster an open and curious conversation.

I have co founded a $100+ million valuation startup. I am not in the top 50%. I am not in the top 80%. I am in the very very very top 0.5%.

If you have worked in most tech jobs, at large or medium sized companies, you have not met people like me. I took risks. Major ones. I left comfort.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#266

Post by [deleted] »

anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180
lapcat wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

[deleted]

Re: Quitting the rat race

#267

Post by [deleted] »

anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180
lapcat wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

[deleted]

Re: Quitting the rat race

#268

Post by ablatt89 »

jefftk wrote: post #147
simplotek wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. I don't believe this take is fair or correct. FANG-like jobs are designed to depersonalize workers, compell them to work extremely long hours, force them to be constantly on and available, and basically live for the company, only to be pushed out of the company by design and get fired…

> FANG-like jobs are designed to depersonalize workers, compell them to work extremely long hours, force them to be constantly on and available, and basically live for the company, only to be pushed out of the company by design and get fired as disposable canon fodder at the slightest bump on the calendar. That mostly doesn't match my experience in two ~5y stints at a FANG: * Depersonalize: maybe; not sure what you m…

Agreed here, there's so much scope and specialization in a large company, it takes time to make impact that often goes beyond 1-2 years. I recall in my last FAANG at Apple, the opportunities for high impact projects are often left up for the individuals to find. You're hired to do X, but nothing stops you from creating some really highly useful internal library, side projects, pitching ideas to management (they will often get rejected by sometimes accepted), etc...

And honestly, I was averaging maybe 5 hours of real work a week in some stretches. Ofcourse crunch time happens, and it is team dependent, but one has to take control of their experiences in any company or situation instead of relying on others to make their expectations happen.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#269

Post by JSavageOne »

dylan604 wrote: post #124
lapcat wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

It's one of those things like "time heals all wounds". Nobody likes to hear it when the wound is fresh, but it's absolutely true. When you're younger, FOMO is much stronger. As you get older, FOMO starts to get replaced with "who gives a...". With that in mind, age might matter

It's not about age, it's about experience.

A virgin will have serious FOMO over sex. But the more experiences you have with different partners, the less special it is ie. the less FOMO you get since you've "been there done that."

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