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Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
261–270 of 329 posts
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#262Earlier quoted context omitted.
Correct. It works in reverse too. Anecdote: As I deployed to Afghanistan from my duty station on Okinawa things got progressively shitty. Okinawa -> Manas: Living conditions suck but they have a decent chow hall. Manas -> Camp Leatherneck: Crappy living, crappy chow. Camp Leatherneck -> FOB: wow this sucks. FOB -> combat outpost: holy shit this sucks! How am I gonna do 7 months of this?! I did. Got used to it. Was ac…
> -> combat outpost: holy shit this sucks! How am I gonna do 7 months of this?! > I did. Got used to it. Was actually kind of fun after awhile. Huge yikes. I can understand adapting to the circumstances, but the concept of combat deployment becoming fun is highly alarming to me. My most charitable interpretation—that your sense of fun was derived from camaraderie during downtime under difficult circumstances, not fro…
I’m not surprised this is being downvoted, but I’d appreciate someone actually leaving a comment in case there’s something I’m not understanding about how seven months of combat deployment can be fun that isn’t some combination of monstrous/traumatic.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#263Go talk to a shrink. You have the money for it.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#264Have the same, thought it was normal turned out it’s not. It’s ADHD.
I was somewhat surprised, because for me and my family it was normal to be very heavy driven with the “next thing” and not something that’s obtained even though, similarly as you, I am I very good position in my life.
And yet, constant struggle to get more filled my life with junk and made my almost split with my wife (I suppose you can imagine how “constant improvement” affects partnership especially in context of one partner being fine with position they’re in).
So, yeah, my guess would be - go talk to the specialist about it. It’s not “normal” and if it’s ADHD it can be managed to some degree.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#265Earlier quoted context omitted.
I have observed over the years a tendency of people leaving software for something completely different (often something much more tangible). Maybe that’s your beef, maybe not. My take on it is slightly different: It could very well be that instead of burnout, you are just missing purpose and meaning in your life. What is the legacy that you want to build for your kids? Don’t despair. It’s all good. Give yourself pro…
> What is the legacy that you want to build for your kids? I think for some it's worth challenging the need for a "legacy" in the first place. This certainly is what helped my well-being, not feeling like I had to accomplish X or achieve Y for life to have been "worth it." I want to be kind, stay fed, and help others feel like things are OK which can be done through service both big and small. I guess it's about find…
Not OP but,
I don't have any issue with legacy, but I do with purpose. What's the point of it all? That's my core struggle.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#266Earlier quoted context omitted.
> As someone only a little older than yourself, I would say this: your job will never love you back, and especially in the software realm, it may not be as fulfilling as something like woodworking or therapy. It does pay the bills, though. Reminded me of https://github.com/docker/cli/issues/267#issuecomment-695149... > I no longer build software; I now make furniture out of wood. The hours are long, the pay sucks, an…
I have observed over the years a tendency of people leaving software for something completely different (often something much more tangible). Maybe that’s your beef, maybe not. My take on it is slightly different: It could very well be that instead of burnout, you are just missing purpose and meaning in your life. What is the legacy that you want to build for your kids? Don’t despair. It’s all good. Give yourself pro…
I am leaving to the Caparthian mountains to pursue building violins and to open a wedding destination so I can play them as much as possible. I am very close. I don't hate software but I really do miss the physical aspect of work so I think I found a way to "bridge the gap". It's also hard to really play after thinking all day.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#267I would recommend watching Dr Andrew Hubberman. I think you will find how to accomplish what you already know you have to do, but don’t know how.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#268I think working from home can add too. Losing physical contacts during lockodown detached me from my work I love – which has shown clear after I started seeing our team again.
Suggestion: read Four Thousands Weeks from Oliver Burkeman;)
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#269You are describing the hedonic treadmill. Essentially, you become used to your surroundings, and while they are objectively great, from the perspective of inside your own head, this is now normal and you / your monkey mind wants more. There have been a lot of post floating around the internet with various solutions, the most popular being Stoicism > Positive Psychology / Happiness research > Buddhism / Meditation. I'…
I would like to add two other ways to get off the hedonic treadmill for a bit. 1. Backpacking for a 1 week time period or longer. Living out of a backpack is a great way to help rest your brain terms of its standard perspective on what it thinks it needs to be happy in day to day life. Also, there are some nice places you can walk to with a backpack on that you can not drive to. 2. A Therapeutic mushroom trip - read…
The generalization is that you need some "stress" in your life to remain grounded, i.e something that you engage on a level that produces a sense of urgency. Backpacking and living minimally can definitely do that. Taking up a sport that has some element of fear/danger can do that as well.
>A Therapeutic mushroom trip - read how to change your mind by that hippy Berkley professor. This is not for everyone though. So proceed with caution.
Mushrooms are way, way, way safer than what people believe. For people who are sane (i.e not suffering from psychosis) it is perfectly safe to do an entry level 2-3.5 gram shroom trip with a trip sitter. You can read all the studies, the negative effects are pretty much non existent, the only stuff that gets mentioned is the meta-effects from things like being disoriented and tripping and falling - thus the trip sitter.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#270I wonder if you subconsciously crave more contact with your colleagues and clients. Perhaps try to up this over a few weeks see how you feel after.
I agree. It can be that "simple". My experience during/after lockdowns.