Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

I'm asking because I get the feeling that other people consider the basics to be a wider set of things than I do. For me the basics means feeding yourself and having some relationships. But for other people it means being able to keep appointments, basic planning and follow through, ability to sit still through long ceremonies, not letting dishes/laundry get to the point where you have no clean dishes/clothes every single time.

The second set of stuff is things I've struggled with in my life to a further degree than my peers. It's the kind of things that teenagers are bad at and imagine adults with ADHD continue to be bad at.

The problem I think is everybody occasionally struggles with this stuff. They don't understand what it would mean to always struggle with all of it all the time. What it means for it not to be a choice.

Is that what you had in mind?

If your near term memory is especially crap, prescription n-back training when you are on meds can help improve it a little, and sometimes a lot. I sort of broke the scale on that one, apparently, was weird.

Side effects, I haven't had a lot except while trying out new medication.

I'll look at this sorry mess tomorrow, if you have any question I can answer :)

For me it was a very circuitous way, but after multiple doctor appointments in my late 30's for what looked as a depression without the depressive part, or getting burnt out by essentially doing almost nothing, I got sent to a therapist that sent me to a psychiatrist, and a few convolutions later I got a thorough evaluation by some specialists in Stockholm. They had no doubt at all, I ticked all the boxes for ADD. Probably on the autism spectra too, but I was in such a terrible shape that they felt it pointless to bother with it at least before I was somewhat on my feet again.

My scoring for attention to boring tasks was apparently through the floor terrible.

By the way, if you find yourself trying to find a reason why everything I write is crap, it's okay. I would have too, because it would have felt impossible, and nobody wants to do the impossible. That feeling is true, but maybe not entirely reliable!

The treatment varies as there are yet no clear roadmap. However, if you only get offered a stimulant, that's a bad sign. Go somewhere else if you can.

The treatment should be quite individual, the effects of ADHD on mind and body over time can vary a lot, and the most important role of the stimulants for most people is that it enables purposeful change. You probably won't have much experience of that, so it's no good to be entirely on your own.

You would start with figuring out if one of the stimulants works for you, and at what dose. This should be a bit annoying, take a fair bit of time, and you'll probably end up trying more than one until you find something you tolerate well. It can take a while because your body adapts, especially the first week(s) can be rather odd. This is commonly the first step, because it makes everything easier, or at least possible.

They may have an introductory course which covers the basics of what it is to live with ADHD, and if you have an SO that's not exactly like you, it's recommended they attend something similar but target at them. We're not always easy to live with, and they might also need someone to went at that knows what's up. My ex wife tried to talk to her friend before I got my diagnosis, and she only felt even more alone.

After figuring out medication, or in parallel you should see a some kind of therapist that is specialized in attention deficit disorder, because a) unless you are very young, you have issues that your superhuman avoidance algorithms has made you avoid, you might start noticing them, and they need to be dealt with b) It's nice to have someone that doesn't lie to you, can help you understand your fellow humans. Autistic traits are extremely common if you are anywhere near tech and have ADHD, and if not, it is easier for some to keep sane and also keep your friends as friends if you can tell someone who is not your friend why everything sucks, and why people are stupid. YMMV c) You'll probably not notice your own progress at first, but a decent therapist will, and you get valuable feedback to get the ball rolling. d) Don't stop going to the therapist to early if you can avoid it, you'll probably improve rather quickly, but if it's not habit yet, and if you're not very lucky on the medical side, you might need someone to keep you heading in the right direction.

Most people have some side effects during the time the medicine is active during the day, but usually quite minor.

Results vary immensely, but even for me which in many ways have not had fantastic results, mostly because I was so terribly burnt out that it alone has taken years to recover from, it still was so worth it every step of the way.

My life is still rather messy, but I feel like it's my own life now, I'm not only drifting along. I still plan terribly, but I am in time more often than not, that didn't use to be the case.

It's actually really hard to understand the results beforehand. It's as if trying to understand how blue smells. I wouldn't have understood my own descriptions, because my brain

I don't know why, but they work way better when hand-written

For me I day dream all the time. I don't think about anything when I play guitar. I don't think about anything when I do the dishes. I don't think about anything when I'm laying in a hammock looking at the sky. I don't really think when I'm exercising outside of "this is hard!".

Even when I'm dating someone she'll ask "What are you thinking about?" and more often then not the response is "literally nothing."

So yeah, it's definitely possible to not think about things. Maybe it's worth the cash on a therapy session just to double check? https://www.betterhelp.com/ Is a good source.

To me this sounds like the equivalent of a tooth ache for your mental health, better to get it checked now then wait.

wear a circle ring around your ankle, or draw a circle on your underwear, so you are all the time inside a circle , and all the time protected inside a circle, so when you enter a square, you dont need to perform any ritual, because you are already protected by your circle and this neutralizes all the squares

sounds funny and irrational but our rituals arent rational too , lol

i used to perform rituals all day, sometimes, when crossing a street, the traffic light opened for the cars when i was still performing my ritual, and i continue performing in the middle of the road, and the cars came and i had to run to the other side and the cars drivers thinking i was crazy

i had wounds in my hands because knocking the wood for hours nonstop

i used to miss the subway ride because i had to wait for someone dressing in pink to get in the subway before me

i didnt try any medication because i didnt want to mess my brain with brain affecting medicines

one day i decided couldnt live like this, and i tied a string with my protection color around my wrist and i said to myself the string protects me and i didnt need any other ritual anymore, then i was free of 99% of the rituals

its so good to feel free

in the beggining, when i feel the urge of performing some ritual, because of the habit, I remembered myself that I dont need and remember im already protected

after some time you dont remember the other rituals and your brain gets the habit of being free

you can try to find some ritual to perform just once a day after wake up, that is valid for the whole day, so you dont need any other ritual along the day, then you are free the whole day

this helped me and changed my life , hope can help you too