I'd probably go with something like "I'm not as involved with the problem domain as you are, but sshd came to mind for me. Could it be an appropriate way to go here?"
Help me ask why you didn't just
261–270 of 363 posts
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#262I would just argue to not question why they haven't done something and rather ask 'Have you tried sshd? sounds like something you could use, but maybe i am missing something.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#263"Did you consider using xxx?"
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#264My take from personal experience: Removing the "just" obviously makes it less condescending: => Why didn't you use sshd? Removing the "you" could make it less personal: => Why was sshd not used here? Removing the past-tense makes it more forward looking (the past can't be changed, but people often defend their past decisions especially because they are unchangeable, the future however is less threatening): => Could s…
The further I get down your list of alternative phrasings, the worse the writing gets. This is corporate speak and it's regrettably taking over the world. I do agree with your final paragraph. Telling people privately sidesteps all the newspeak entirely.
What is distasteful in corporate speak is its use of inflated words to hide the lack of honesty and humanity.
What the GP points out is intentional phrasing to express no more and no less than what is desired. That it happens to sound formulaic is less of an issue than conveying the wrong meaning.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#265I go with “is there any reason you didn’t choose X?” Or even better when the context is appropriate: “Is there any reason WE didn’t choose X?”
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#266I don't know about you, but if I talk to someone about a problem, the "why didn't you just $FOO" suggestions are exactly the ones I'm looking for. Because the tech environment has become so complex that there is probably a simple API I could have used but I wasn't aware of it. How about we stop assuming people are out to hurt us, and start assuming everybody is well-meaning but they have social issues just like me? J…
There's a simple but subtle difference in "why didn't you just x" and "did you try x".
The first one has negativity associated with YOU in it and feels like it focuses on your past. The latter is neutral and it feels like it does not care about the past, more like a suggestion for the future.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#267Earlier quoted context omitted.
The further I get down your list of alternative phrasings, the worse the writing gets. This is corporate speak and it's regrettably taking over the world. I do agree with your final paragraph. Telling people privately sidesteps all the newspeak entirely.
What is distasteful in corporate speak is its use of inflated words to hide the lack of honesty and humanity. What the GP points out is intentional phrasing to express no more and no less than what is desired. That it happens to sound formulaic is less of an issue than conveying the wrong meaning.
When you use passive voice, you are obscuring who performed the action.
This is one of the hallmarks of corporate speak ("Mistakes were made.") It is bloodless and takes the people out of the picture. Business is a human activity.
There are other more human ways to express the same message ("You might not have thought of it, but ssh might be a good option here." or "Maybe there's a reason it wouldn't work, but perhaps ssh might be easier?")
Language shouldn't become the victim of our distorted corporate culture. We can speak plainly and still be respectful.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#268My take from personal experience: Removing the "just" obviously makes it less condescending: => Why didn't you use sshd? Removing the "you" could make it less personal: => Why was sshd not used here? Removing the past-tense makes it more forward looking (the past can't be changed, but people often defend their past decisions especially because they are unchangeable, the future however is less threatening): => Could s…
I've taken this a step further and often completely flip the wording to match the intended assumption which is that I am wrong : > I can't figure out the reason X doesn't work This is more often what I really mean, i.e there is some obvious solution (to me at least), but it's too obvious that they have likely already considered it and there is an issue with it... but they have been working on the problem longer than…
The article mentions the problems with those:
> I'm not clever enough to understand why you didn't use sshd. It would take a fucking genius to figure that out.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#269Earlier quoted context omitted.
It also makes them look like a giant idiot if they actually made a mistake by not considering it. Maybe not the best thing to risk.
But that is kind of unavoidable. When I do screw up, I rather find out by an honest question, where I can be the one answering, "duh, I should have thought of that!", instead of gradually realising that the only one that doesn't know that I'm wasting my time is I.
It is completely avoidable, just shut up.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#270You can put a lot of effort into crafting a way to ask a thing, and it'll probably work in that specific instance, but it doesn't solve the broader problem.
My working theory of "how to answer questions" is about making my thought process transparent. And, especially, explicitly stating what information I'm lacking.
"I'm looking at your requirements, and I see X and Y so my immediate inclination is that I'd simply use sshd.
And if that doesn't work for you, knowing why can probably nail down what would work."
The transparent thought process gives them an insight into why you're saying the things you do.
And explaining what I need helps them move the discussion forward. It avoids me being a brick wall of incomprehension.