Why are articles like these yanked so quickly from the front page of HN?
probably because a large portion of HN users are basically STEM nerd incels
Explaining Sex Rate Changes
261–270 of 588 posts
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#262Earlier quoted context omitted.
How would that change though. I agree its a problem, but I don't agree its not within the control of those who are not being matched to do something about it. Some arguments: * dating apps aren't the only way to meet people; you can still meet potential partners at parks/bars/work (Americans love office romances apparantly) * dating apps do favor the conventionally good looking folks but its also about presentation,…
As someone who is definitely on the "not ugly but also not attractive" demographic, I have ditched dating apps completely. The focus on the visual to the exclusion of body language and personality chemistry just makes it a bad all around deal. From my experience, naturally meeting girls in the world is a much more pleasant experience.
Smart move in many ways. Think about it - what kind of person goes to quick hookup apps? The one that likes quick hookups. Which is great if you look exactly this and nothing more. Men and women (but frankly, women much more due to many reasons) who behave like this +-consistently, have practically always have some deep unresolved issues, usually from childhood they try (and fail) to compensate for with this behavior. Think about Barney Stinson from HIMYM and his famous focus on 'girls with daddy issues'.
If you look for anything else, like long term happiness, its a very hard find a partner on such platform. Maybe I am naive but I still think this is what most people want in their lives. But it ain't as easy as swiping around - one needs to go out there, make some effort to look attractive, expose oneself to as many potential partners as possible. And have patience, tons of patience.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#263It's interesting that every comment here is now on board with what groups like "incels" and "MRAs" been saying for years . These groups are often called "hate groups", but now more and more stats are coming out it seems more people agree with them (I have always agreed with them, by the way). Nobody has yet mentioned another potentially large driver, though. That is the abundance of Internet porn that is available fr…
You have to be careful not to burden yourself with unnecessary ideology.
It is fine to notice the patterns in society and ask questions, but incels and MRAs come with their own unsubstantiated explanations for why this is, and what to do about it. This is not fine. They are basically cults.
Moreover, they are constantly being infiltrated and hijacked by political propagandists to leverage the built up anger for unrelated political purposes.
Plus, you have to be careful not to get dragged into a spiral of depressive pessimism.
Plus, if all of that was not bad enough, there are trolls on those forums egging people on and taking pleasure in the desperation of others.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#264This is not news to anyone who has been following the changes in gender dynamics in the past ~15 years. Without giving an opinion on any side: there is (and will continue to be) growing instability when inequalities (relationship, wealth, or otherwise) result in a large portion of the population disaffected. Historically the solution to this particular problem has been enforced monogamy + the risk of pregnancy. Clear…
Enforced monogamy + the risk of pregnancy is not a "solution". The risk of pregnancy is a biological fact with far more severe penalties for women. Enforced monogamy in western societies is part of a broader history of social control that came to exist because it was good at perpetuating itself-- and which also unfairly disadvantaged women. It's unfortunate that we evolved to be the way we are, but the "instability"…
If the solution to "inequality" is creating another inequality which harms far more people, then it might not be a solution at all.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#265It's genuinely depressing to think that a large number of guys now has no access to explore intimacy and partnership (or very little). No one's owed sex of course but it's like we're breaking aspects of society. And I think you'd naturally find women are less able to find meaning themselves here so it's not just a men's pity party. I wonder, if this is a dating app phenomenon, if there's anything that can be done tha…
Enforced communal participation in events — similar to having to file your taxes , you just participate in X number of community events in a X km region from your residence — would help people get off the screens and get outside in a context other than work. Similar to how In high school you need 40 hrs of community service to graduate Edit: ok not ‘enforced’ but there should be some sort of government incentive
Sounds like you might enjoy watching https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lobster
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#266Artificial AI-driven-wife (for example "Geminoid F") with artificial womb would solve the problem.
I’m genuinely concerned that people seriously think this is a _solution_. Beyond sex, relationships with romantic partners are a complex, rewarding part of the human experience. How did that get lost to some?
You say rewarding, but for a lot of people it's an incomprehensible minefield. I mean where do you even start?
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#267As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…
This is true, and honestly, has always been true. But its exaggerated by online dating and the relaxation of sex in modern society. I think whats really different, is that lots of young guys are taking note. Many are keenly aware that they are being left out. As I approach my early thirties, its weird to see those same women turn around and marry the men they previously rejected.
There's plenty of evidence showing woman have different (and in many ways lower) standards for long term mating that short term mating. Which makes sense evolutionally.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#268Earlier quoted context omitted.
I see at least two [flagged] comments. Do flagged comments cause the article to get buried?
Comments in general cause articles to rank lower.
Which is strange, since that means a comment is also a down vote. That is surely not the intention of the commenter.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#269Earlier quoted context omitted.
China is far, far worse with the sex ratio being incredibly imbalanced due to the past one child policy. There's a number of documentaries about the craziness and competitiveness of dating in China. People not having sex, not having families (if they so desire) and not making enough money to be comfortable anywhere is a national emergency. American men of any sort can just go to Brazil, Mexico, Ukraine or the Czech R…
I don’t agree that these are good solutions. A lot of these frustrated men are simply looking for companionship. Not to mention the unrealistic prospect of someone flying to another country for some casual sex. Not everyone can afford that kind of thing.
And even if you CAN afford it, it's still a huge step to take - from a life of low social interaction to a foreign country to play the part of a playboy?
I mean I'd probably be up for it if I was still single, but where do you even start? Is that even legal? You'd be under some serious scrutiny if you were to go on a sex vacation to Thailand for example due to the prevalence of child abuse (and child sex tourism) there.
I do know one guy (very much a jock) who openly goes on sex vacations, not even the kind where you have to pay for it. He just gets on Tinder and does his thing. Good for him, not my thing - even if I'm a bit jealous, it's a lifestyle and a social situation I don't want to be a part of.
Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes
#270As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…
To me there are two important factors that explain that:
* Dating apps, not good looking people have hard time getting any match on those kind of apps, so for those that use app and don't try to meet any other girls in real life I can easily understand that they don't have sex with any girls. Also these apps tends to increase expectations of people because they see beautiful people all day.
* Porno, porno is more and more present, and more and more flexible to people tastes, so it is not uncommon to find people be more happy watching porn than having real life sex