Earlier quoted context omitted.
Perhaps it matters where you grew up. I grew up in LA and was a young in the Bay Area. I experienced none of what you describe and I was often in shops. Me and a friend would go to Rhino Records near Westwood. I understand it was a legendary record store. But even being there wasn't particular social. The only hang-out shop was Epicenter Zone in SF - but that was specifically intended to not be like your usual shops,…
I think it has to be a somewhat smaller sized shop with the same 3 staff on rotation for the social thing. Applied to both my video store and game store in the 90s early 00s.
Employees got to put on whatever music they wanted.
I should ask my friend who worked there—but there was a lot of fun they had with that. Perhaps, with their musical selections playing on the store speakers, they were even trolling some customers from time to time.
(I know they enjoyed playing John Foxx's single "Endlessly" when Ann Lassley was in the store since it sounded like Foxx was singing her name.)