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Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

gavinray97.github.io

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Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#251

Post by SpecStudioHN »

mapassthebeans wrote: post #148

Had similarly unorthodox path to tech, albeit without the drug addiction or prison. 90s early internet/BBS punk rocker/computer nerd. Hated school angry. Dropped out to work as a bike messenger for 5 years before packing a bag and moving west randomly. Couldn't sit still. Rode freight trains around the country for a few months. Washed dishes and landscaped to cover my cheap rent till that fell thru. Discovered shop l…

i’ve been through all of this, and it turned out fine. seriously people don’t hold a drug bust against you, if you can do the job. i’ve lived on the road, camped in Golden Gate Park, attended several Rainbow Gatherings, etc. after spending years in India as a monk, i couldn’t find a place in american society. i bootstrapped a new identity that let me live as a teacher and developer; but i had to move to Śrī Laṅkā to do it.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#252

Post by sshumaker »

throwawaytea wrote: post #235
user_7832 wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And to whoever downvoted me, I've successfully "diagnosed" (read - identified) multiple friends already. NDs often have decent ND-radars.

I've had a few people tell me that I definitely have ADHD, even an internal medicine doctor and a neuro radiology friend. But I always change the subject. Let's say they are correct. What would the solution look like from there? As an example, and this is only 1% of it, but I have had my utilities turned off several times for not paying bills, while having $400k in the bank.

There’s both medication (which takes a while to get dosage right but can be extremely helpful for some) and also techniques you can use to help compensate.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#253

Post by dadpassthebeans »

fc417fc802 wrote: post #208
throwaway89864 wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Was there any bullying at school that kept you away from it? Or boredom? Or just culture ? Grade schools seem all right in the US. Ridiculous amounts of activities/sports right there, teachers are well paid (compared to the rest of the world), the program difficulty seem pretty chill for any kid that learned to read early enough.

> Grade schools seem all right in the US. My experience (and impression of others) is that sure, it's incredibly good by certain very basic metrics but that doesn't mean all participants find it desirable or even tolerable. I slogged through it for no reason other than that's just what was expected and I didn't see any realistic alternative but in retrospect I think I would have been better off dropping out and atten…

> I slogged through it for no reason other than that's just what was expected and I didn't see any realistic alternative but in retrospect I think I would have been better off dropping out and attending a community college (of course I could be wildly wrong about that)

This is exactly where I zagged. To this day, I still think avoiding college was the best decision I've made in life. Both from the POV of finances and personal growth. I learned so much about the world and life between the ages of ~18-26. I did not own a computer or have internet access during any of it, and neither did most the ppl I knew. Feel very lucky I spent those years YOLO'ing it and not in front of a screen.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#254

Post by shrubby »

TylerE wrote: post #245
moi2388 wrote: post #240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is the first beer the most critical choice? Why isn’t the last beer the most critical one, for example?

Without the first beer there is no last beer.

This.

In a healthy society there would be no need for intoxicants with so severe harms (BBC list for substances by harm is a good reference) and thus no exposure for a addictive substance.

Now the norm decides that, almost without exceptions, we must all be exposed.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#255

Post by shrubby »

moi2388 wrote: post #240
shrubby wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well said here. We don't have a honest discussion about the progression of addiction so the choices are not visible, until later. The first beer is the most critical choice, yet it's made for us (in 99% of the cases) by our peers. So is it a choice really? We're routine (addiction) prone herd animals and as long as we pretend otherwise (free will and the likes) we're stuck in repeating this.

Why is the first beer the most critical choice? Why isn’t the last beer the most critical one, for example?

And the substance abuse is a progressive lying disease so once we figure out "this has gone too far" the threshold for abuse has been crossed a long time ago in most cases.

First the close ones see the problem and the individual in question is the last to see it. Thus a lying disease.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#256

Post by zuzululu »

trumpdong wrote: post #187
zuzululu wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think earlier there were few HN users who didn't like my opinions on another thread, came here to flag and downvote my comments and leave rather mean replies all over my profile. I don't think much of it and I forgive people who do it. Or maybe there really are people who think its okay to use AI to hire/filter candidates but not when candidates use AI to optimize to get around that screen. Using AI, I've been able…

How did you do that? I don't get many interviews even after making sure AI likes my resume.

I applied to 1000 jobs over the year

17 interviews

5 offers

I accepted 3 of them and work 16 hours a day. So thats roughly 5 hours of deep work per day. if I wasn't remote working then the extra 3~5 hours would've been spent on commute, figuring out where to eat, silly banters with coworkers or office politics and just non-essential stuff that anti-remote people advocate for.

I would accepted all 5 if I could but its just impossible to fit more than 3 stand up meetings in different time zones. It's also tricky at times to manage schedule, you have to keep your work space segregated.

So it's a combination of Resume strength (don't spend too much time on polishing it with AI as it can't replace experience) and market demand (really question if you have anything special)

Don't get discouraged brother! I hope this can help you.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#257

Post by somenameforme »

kbenson wrote: post #188
bagels wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did he have to? Some of that sounds like choices, especially in the start.

Almost everything is a choice. The difference is that sometimes you're making a rational one and sometimes you only think you're making a rational one and to outsiders and in retrospect it obviously wasn't the best choice, or event a good choice. There are two aspects to the type of question that was asked. How do you prevent people from ha I g to make choices which are rational and good for their options but still r…

I don't think humans are so straight forward. We have an instinctive nature to rebel that's not going anywhere, and we're all just so absurdly different, so what works for one person or family, may fail spectacularly for another. My opinion is that all you can do is be honest about things. DARE, for instance, ended up resulting in more kids trying drugs after all was said and done. It relied heavily on exaggeration and misleading statements - a lot like contemporary politics. And once people realized some of what was said was lies, the entire foundation fell apart and it all became seen as a joke.

So for instance I'll happily tell my kids that marijuana is enjoyable and relatively harmless in and of itself, yet you end up smelling bad, it ruins motivation, hurts your short-term memory, gives you the munchies, and is just generally is self-escapism, like most drugs. Gotta work on my exact pitch there, but that's the spirit of the point - honesty. They will make plenty of bad decisions in life, but I'd rather that with each one they see I was right, rather than see that I was lying or exaggerating - driving them further away from everything else I taught them.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#258

Post by luka »

throwawaytea wrote: post #235
user_7832 wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And to whoever downvoted me, I've successfully "diagnosed" (read - identified) multiple friends already. NDs often have decent ND-radars.

I've had a few people tell me that I definitely have ADHD, even an internal medicine doctor and a neuro radiology friend. But I always change the subject. Let's say they are correct. What would the solution look like from there? As an example, and this is only 1% of it, but I have had my utilities turned off several times for not paying bills, while having $400k in the bank.

Cognitive behavioral therapy and, if you want to, medication. Studies have confirmed great results when those two are done together.

If you get your utilities shut off due to ADHD, and that is only 1% of it as you claim, your instinctual coping mechanisms obviously aren't enough to prevent a pretty bad impact on your day-to-day life. As you would seek help for acute medical problems from professionals, you should seek help for chronic mental problems from professionals.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#259

Post by Gigachad »

bartread wrote: post #170
20wenty wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It was incredibly refreshing to read an honest story, warts and all, written by a human. And equally infuriating to read a comment about it written by AI.

I had assumed the comment you’re responding to is tongue in cheek but it’s honestly hard to tell sometimes.

It is, it’s designed to invoke rage over ChatGPT speak as an example of how awful it is to read.

Re: Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

#260

Post by KingMob »

estearum wrote: post #139
whartung wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd much rather be on a freeway at 60+ MPH surrounded by 2.5 ton vehicles with poor visibility than riding an urban street. New riders are rightly intimidated by the freeways (they're fast, they're big), but they're far, far safer than the street with all of the starting, stopping, hard corners, folks turning onto the street, and, of course, the king of bike slayers, the "I didn't see them" left turn. Not to mention…

You're describing American cities, while GP (to whom I was responding) was clearly describing the huge number of foreign cities (e.g. SE Asia) where motorcycles are the dominant form of urban transit. The relevant factor is that a street where motorcycles, cycles, pedestrians, and small/slow cars are dominant – all of which move at generally slow speeds – is of far, far, far less danger than a street (freeway or not)…

I guess this depends on whether you're emphasizing deadliness or likelihood.

I live in Thailand, and I can assure you that while scooters dominating city streets increases awareness by car drivers, it doesn't make accidents less likely.

Most accidents worldwide happen on low-speed streets, not highways. On highways, the speeds are higher, so the rare accidents that occur are more damaging, but the opportunities for accidents are also much, MUCH lower. (No/few turns, no/few stops, similar speed levels, better visibility, etc.)

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