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Find Your People

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Re: Find Your People

#251

Post by tofuahdude »

Aurornis wrote: post #146
parpfish wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i think its interesting that for so many college kids, the post-graduation options that continue to provide tracks are also treated as the more "prestigious" options (go to grad school. work at big3/faang, etc). it's not because they are any more prestigious or important, but because they provide a clear sense of achievement/external validation and kids that make it to the end of college are kids that have had decade…

> the post-graduation options that continue to provide tracks are also treated as the more "prestigious" options (go to grad school. work at big3/faang, etc). Graduate school is a mixed bag when it comes to prestige. It's fairly well known that grad student lifestyle is a grind, highly competitive, and a financial sacrifice. You go into it for a love of academics, not as a default next step. As for prestigious jobs l…

I've worked with many people who directly stated that they went to grad school because they "didn't know what else to do". As well as several who couldn't get a job, so they went back to school.

It definitely isn't always for the love of academics.

Re: Find Your People

#252

Post by [deleted] »

lanfeust6 wrote: post #81
jimbokun wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not Asian or South Asian. I'm sure what you're saying is true. But having parents that are not involved enough to push their kids towards anything in particular is a much bigger challenge to over come. If you have a degree from a prestigious university and the network that comes along with it, pivoting towards start ups or something more creative or entrepreneurial is a lot easier than if you never went to college at…

> push their kids I think complete apathy is uncommon. Parents mostly want their kids to succeed in what would loosely map to their own definitions, to be "content" and self-reliant. If they come from a blue collar background that will mean suggesting their kids pick up a trade. Educated parents will usually suggest college. You can't will ambition in someone else that isn't there, and it comes at a price. Some paren…

[deleted]

Re: Find Your People

#253

Post by BizarreByte »

Karrot_Kream wrote: post #59
ketzo wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy. I'm only being a bit silly here, a pretty high number of these folks are in therapy dealing with the alienation they feel over their life for being forced into a career path they felt like they had no choice in.

> You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy.

The only people who wouldn't prefer that are ones who haven't endured true poverty.

I have little sympathy for those folks unhappy with their conventionally successful lives when that same kind of life allowed me to escape. When you grow up without basic needs being met they come off as having a severe lack of perspective.

I mean sure I hate my job, but I like having heat in the winter more than I hate my job.

Re: Find Your People

#254

Post by nntwozz »

angrydev wrote: post #250
nntwozz wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I channeled most of my energy into playing MMOs in the early 2000s, I have some wonderful memories but it fried my dopamine reward system and it took me more than a decade to wean myself off of the bad habit. Not having something real and tangible to care about can be devastating.

I'm between jobs (burnout) and have found MMOs (Classic WoW) to be the only thing that makes sense anymore. What did you do to replace this and move on?

I changed my lifestyle from mainly indoor hobbies (series/movies/games/music) to mainly outdoor activities.

I bought a dog, I started riding mountainbikes again (as I did when I was a kid) and I got into bushcraft. Now I live off grid with solar and firewood.

In a sense I replaced the grinding part I did in the MMOs with taking care of the property.

I hand fell trees and process them for firewood, the branches go into a wood chipper. I trim the grass, use pruning shears etc.

I live in a timber house that's 125 years old, there's always something to work on be it painting, renovating etc. It's fun to develop real skills and use power tools. There's immense satisfaction in seeing the results of your own work.

When I want to play I ride my bikes (I also enjoy servicing them); I still enjoy music and movies/series but I no longer have any interest in actually gaming. I occasionally read/watch videos about it as a nostalgia trip.

Re: Find Your People

#255

Post by bumby »

steveBK123 wrote: post #245
bumby wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t know if it’s more pronounced now, but I do think it was prevalent before. It may just be a cultural artifact of certain terminology being in the zeitgeist. Decades ago I remember talking to a classmate about what college we’d go to. They couldn’t fathom why I decided on a “lesser” school when I was accepted into a more prestigious one. When I asked why they thought the prestigious school was a better choice,…

I wouldn’t blame only western culture given the demographics of ivies now

It’s a good point. Buy I also wonder if there’s a sampling bias: those from other cultures who attend western universities may be more likely to have more westernized values?

Re: Find Your People

#256

Post by trinix912 »

NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #121
jackphilson wrote: post #95

Right. I feel like cultural fit is very important. You need to find the community you're most aligned with (share same memetic space) and go to them. This is why I think network states will succeed

I suspect very strongly that we live in a "post-community" world. There are no communities, and haven't been for a very long time, likely since before your grandparents were in their prime. We have any number of entities that function as surrogate communities, but without the benefits the real thing would provide. Quite often though, they have many of the disadvtanges of those, plus a few extra. The community you're…

Communities still exist, but you have to make an active effort to find and become a part of them. Hobbies often have communities, same with fandoms, church groups, etc. Online and offline, whichever you prefer.

Re: Find Your People

#257

Post by bradlys »

Karrot_Kream wrote: post #59
ketzo wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy. I'm only being a bit silly here, a pretty high number of these folks are in therapy dealing with the alienation they feel over their life for being forced into a career path they felt like they had no choice in.

You say this like the people in poverty are any happier. They're not.

The people from these rich schools that go on to have lives where they have ample money and resources are also likely more capable of overcoming emotional struggles.

Re: Find Your People

#258

Post by tough »

bumby wrote: post #255
steveBK123 wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wouldn’t blame only western culture given the demographics of ivies now

It’s a good point. Buy I also wonder if there’s a sampling bias: those from other cultures who attend western universities may be more likely to have more westernized values?

Maybe elites values are the issue regardless of western or eastern bound

Re: Find Your People

#259

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

gardenhedge wrote: post #220
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a long story, and probably not one for this venue, but suffice it to say that the skills one develops, rebuilding a shattered life, tend to give significant advantages. > That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. - Freddy Nietzsche > Or leaves you weak and exhausted. - Bill Prekker's Corollary

All very vague

BTW: I don't "owe" anything more to anyone. I wrote something entertaining. It happened to be based on my life, but it really stands alone.

Just because someone is curious, and feels they are entitled to more information, doesn't mean they are actually "entitled," and that they will get it.

I am grateful, when folks share intimate stuff with me. I have been in that position for decades, and I've learned not to pry for more. There's usually a good reason they don't go further. I may not think it's a "good" reason, but they do, so what I think means diddly squat.

The Internet has done weird things to personal boundaries and propriety. Kinda sad, really.

Re: Find Your People

#260

Post by roncesvalles »

mizzao wrote: post #246

Is it true that every field that originally started with no rails, eventually leads to rails being constructed there? Every trailblazer can create a well-trodden path For example, startups were one of the most canonical examples of going off the rails. Yet now, many people equate doing a startup with (1) apply to YC, (2) raise a round from a prestigious VC, and other rail-like things. Some even go down these tracks w…

Rails become constructed when there's a need for a large volume of good talent. E.g. there are well-established tracks into careers such as software engineering, investment banking, medicine, big law etc.

Since the VC game relies on volume, it is natural for tracks like YC to have emerged.

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