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Hunting Down My Son's Killer

matt.might.net

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Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#251

Post by sofal »

maratd wrote: post #31
altrego99 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry, not worth it at all. Years 1-10 - you will loose all your time - cleaning diapers, making the child eat, making it study, teaching it values - waking up at night - and doing a lot of things for it. Yes you'll see it learn, smile, grow up and you're genetically conditioned to like it. But you will not be able to play your games, go to your parties - read book or contemplate on life, or code without expecting in…

You either don't have kids or you're a psychopath. I'm leaning toward the former. Don't presume in your arrogance that you know quite a bit about something you have zero experience with. All your accomplishments are pointless without your child next to you. > Yes you'll see it learn, smile, grow up It? Nice. > But you will not be able to play your games, go to your parties - read book or contemplate on life, or code…

I have kids. Shall we skip the lame ad hominem circumstantial now and move straight on to the no-true-scotsman?

The comment you're responding to raises perfectly valid points. Sorry, but in my experience having children does not change your life into a love-fest revolving around them. You miss out on a lot of perfectly fulfilling hobbies and a lot of time. There are upsides, but it may or may not be worth it to you. I think deciding against it may be a better and happier option for many people. You can't just count on the experience of those such as you who are apparently so happy to be a parent that it makes you angry at those who suggest it might be otherwise.

Now what, are you going to call me a psychopath?

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#252

Post by breadbox »

shpoonj wrote: post #184
Havoc wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought about this too - but concluded that even without a test, its reasonable. A caring parent wouldn't keep such a thing secret when its causing (continued) suffering for their child. I'm sure there are psychopaths out there where this is not true, but given that they are married, a judgement call is acceptable in my view - even if not ideal.

I would argue that the same callous personality evidenced in a person capable of infidelity would also come into play when considering whether or not to reveal said infidelity. Wouldn't you agree?

Uh, not really. I think you'll find that quite a lot of people are willing to consider engaging in infidelity, but would not be okay with torturing their own offspring on a daily basis in order to keep that fact hidden.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#253

Post by run4yourlives »

sofal wrote: post #241
run4yourlives wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure where you are hearing the "everyone should have kids" refrain in 2012. Perhaps this is from your parents or friends? I'd submit too that perhaps a lot of it is self imposed, as witnessed by your comments in this thread that immediately assumed more than one person was of the opinion that we are somehow insinuating you are a lesser person from not having kids. Outside of your own family, there's not a hec…

It actually feels good to me to see you talk about the idea of society pushing you to have kids with such incredulity. You clearly haven't experienced the religious culture that I have, which pushed my wife and I to have children ASAP, and continually preaches that if you don't find parenthood (particularly motherhood) extremely fulfilling then there is something wrong with you. I assure you that this culture is stil…

Yes, but you are clearly aware that you are part of a religious subset of society, one that doesn't compare to typical NA culture as it stands overall.

I thought it was self evident what perspective I was coming from, but just in case it isn't, let me clarify that I'm not speaking about strict orthodox Jewish cultures, east Indian patriarchal cultures, or what happens in the Tibetan foothills, but of the mainstream, celebrity worshiping, I want pleasure now North American public.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#254

Post by djt »

Hi matt, I used to work on MPS 3a and did some studies on non-viral gene therapy to treat it in the central nervous system.

Do you know if the enzyme crosses the blood brain barrier?

It was a few years ago, but feel free to ask questions.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#255

Post by lotharbot »

edwinnathaniel wrote: post #17
jasonlotito wrote: post #9

As a father with a son with severe autism (not to suggest it's equivalent to Bertrand's condition), there is an important lesson here that might not be apparent at first read. Before you have children, understand that it's for the rest of your life. Really understand the impact. Your concerns are second, beyond anything you've ever understood. Marriage is about compromise. Children, however, afford no such privilege.…

This important lesson can only be detected by parents. People with no children won't ever understand this no matter how hard they try/re-read the articles many times. Once the infant is out of the womb, everything change instantly without any interference by anyone, anybody, or anything else. The child will change your brain, your mind, your heart, your lifestyle, and your future at that moment of birth. The child IS…

One way I like to explain this to non-parents:

when you get married, it changes the way you relate to your spouse, to their relatives, and to others who used to be "dating prospects" -- so, maybe 1/10 of the people you come in contact with. That's a pretty big deal.

when you have a child, it changes the way you relate to almost everybody, even people you've known your entire life. Your parents become "grandma" and "grandpa"; your siblings become "aunt" and "uncle". Even you become "daddy" or "mommy". Your friends are no longer just people you hang out with, they're people who influence your child. Every decision you make now gets framed in terms of "how does this affect my kid?" It's an order of magnitude bigger than marriage.

Nobody is ever really ready for it, but most of us figure it out. And I think it's totally worth all the struggle. (My mildly autistic 2 year old just drew a letter F with sidewalk chalk, on purpose, and it made my day!)

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#256

Post by sofal »

run4yourlives wrote: post #253
sofal wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It actually feels good to me to see you talk about the idea of society pushing you to have kids with such incredulity. You clearly haven't experienced the religious culture that I have, which pushed my wife and I to have children ASAP, and continually preaches that if you don't find parenthood (particularly motherhood) extremely fulfilling then there is something wrong with you. I assure you that this culture is stil…

Yes, but you are clearly aware that you are part of a religious subset of society, one that doesn't compare to typical NA culture as it stands overall. I thought it was self evident what perspective I was coming from, but just in case it isn't, let me clarify that I'm not speaking about strict orthodox Jewish cultures, east Indian patriarchal cultures, or what happens in the Tibetan foothills, but of the mainstream,…

The culture I grew up in is mainstream enough to produce a serious presidential candidate. I don't think you realize just how entrenched this kind of culture actually is in this country. Favorite past-times? Decrying the hedonistic, worldly, evil, "mainstream, celebrity worshiping, I want pleasure now" society while simultaneously taking great pleasure in it.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#257

Post by meepmorp »

ef4 wrote: post #229
meepmorp wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's shit like this that makes me hate the FDA. So, what? You'd prefer no enforcement of basic drug safety testing? There are reasons why we have the controls we do in medical trials, other than just to provide busy work to career bureaucrats and generally make trouble for sick people. There is a process for getting patients access to investigational drugs, but you still typically need to do some paperwork in order…

I don't think this is an approved drug. It's sold as a reagent to laboratories, but not used for anything medical.

I think you're right. I just checked a manufacturer product page, and it looks like its just used in labs currently.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#258

Post by mattdeboard »

gcheong wrote: post #221
mattdeboard wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

... "pronatalist"? Really? Sheesh.

It's true, it's kind of a strange word that I've mainly only seen used in the child-free communities, but is there a better word for the viewpoint that everyone should have kids? "Breeder mentality" just seems too harsh. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalism

> a better word for the viewpoint that everyone should have kids

I have a good one: "opinion".

I have another great one for when someone won't leave you alone and insists that you hold their opinion or there's something wrong with you: "fanatic". See also: "jerk", "creep", "weirdo", "person I avoid".

I really don't get these quasi-political categorizations. If someone's being a jerk about their opinion, they're a jerk. Words like "pronatalist" just strike me as unbelievably effete. Like "pronatalists" are this powerful lobby group from whom we all need protection.

If someone won't shut up about their opinion and keep trying to push it on you, they're just a jerk, and probably kind of stupid too.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#259

Post by gcheong »

run4yourlives wrote: post #253
sofal wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It actually feels good to me to see you talk about the idea of society pushing you to have kids with such incredulity. You clearly haven't experienced the religious culture that I have, which pushed my wife and I to have children ASAP, and continually preaches that if you don't find parenthood (particularly motherhood) extremely fulfilling then there is something wrong with you. I assure you that this culture is stil…

Yes, but you are clearly aware that you are part of a religious subset of society, one that doesn't compare to typical NA culture as it stands overall. I thought it was self evident what perspective I was coming from, but just in case it isn't, let me clarify that I'm not speaking about strict orthodox Jewish cultures, east Indian patriarchal cultures, or what happens in the Tibetan foothills, but of the mainstream,…

Religious subset? I don't know about Canada, but the US is still a majority Christian country (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_in_the_United_Stat...) and very much has the attitude that sofal was stating. And I would suspect the majority of athesists would have the same view. That said, actions speak louder than words and the fact that fertility rates in most industrialized countries hover just around replacement or lower shows that while people say they want one thing they obviously don't always practice what they preach - they just want everyone else to.

Re: Hunting Down My Son's Killer

#260

Post by gcheong »

mattdeboard wrote: post #258
gcheong wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's true, it's kind of a strange word that I've mainly only seen used in the child-free communities, but is there a better word for the viewpoint that everyone should have kids? "Breeder mentality" just seems too harsh. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalism

> a better word for the viewpoint that everyone should have kids I have a good one: "opinion". I have another great one for when someone won't leave you alone and insists that you hold their opinion or there's something wrong with you: "fanatic". See also: "jerk", "creep", "weirdo", "person I avoid". I really don't get these quasi-political categorizations. If someone's being a jerk about their opinion, they're a jer…

That's like saying we shouldn't call sexism sexism because its just the opinion of a few men that women are inferior and if they are being jerks about their opinion then they are just being jerks. No, having the word pronatalism calls out the fact that it is just a viewpoint. And it is one shared and promoted by many - often to the detriment of those who think otherwise. Having names for things helps in clarifying what it is we are talking about.
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