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Quitting the rat race

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Re: Quitting the rat race

#251

Post by busterarm »

csomar wrote: post #205
notch656c wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you have kids and quit while your family is used to the standard of living there is a good chance a divorce is in the cards. You will then owe 20% (pretax, 30% post tax) of your "imputed" salary for the kid, as well as possible alimony. If you don't come up with 20% of your generous salary you git tossed in a cage, even if the kid only needs a tiny fraction of that for a decent life. For many it's impossible to st…

I’m sorry but in this case you have a much bigger problem than “being a cog in the machine” and an “unfulfilling job”. You should never get in such a relation, or stay in one.

The stories of couples who FIRE'd together and the wife moved on from the relationship in anger/disgust 2-3 years down the road are copious...

Re: Quitting the rat race

#252

Post by thowaway959125 »

gymbeaux wrote: post #167
paulpauper wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you think you feel bad being a cog and making a lot of, money, imagine how much it sucks being a cog and making much less in the service sector. Go to a Chipotle..there is a near 100% likelihood that the people preparing your food hate their jobs way more than you hate yours.

If I worked a blue-collar/service job, making 1/5th what I make as a SWE, having to commute, stand on my feet all day, deal with customers... I'd do drugs. Like I get it. I get why people do drugs. I get why people don't save money for retirement. Life sucks SO MUCH, that it's basically the daily $5 Starbucks drink or suicide. Make no mistake, for most people, life fucking sucks. Then some of you come into that Chipo…

> Make no mistake, for most people, life fucking sucks.

And for many, it's one small slip-up, poor choices, medical problems, etc. and they may have to look forward to these sorts of jobs ... potentially until they drop.

I have no back-up plan, and ageism is a thing. I have to play this software engineering game for as long as I can to avoid the service sector when I'm older. And I have to play it very carefully.

Right now I'm sitting pretty, good income, unlimited vacation, work from anywhere. A "dream" job. But for how much longer?

Fingers crossed. I am not sure about turning to drugs, that would likely amplify the hell and make suicide even more of a viable option.

It's a grim outlook, I try not to think about it.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#253

Post by cpsns »

paulpauper wrote: post #162
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

If you think you feel bad being a cog and making a lot of, money, imagine how much it sucks being a cog and making much less in the service sector. Go to a Chipotle..there is a near 100% likelihood that the people preparing your food hate their jobs way more than you hate yours.

This honestly isn’t helpful, it’s part of why I feel so guilty complaining, someone always has it worse.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#254

Post by taneq »

BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

This is a great viewpoint to foster in unhappy employees who you want to stick around. Reminds me of “Who Moved My Cheese.”

Re: Quitting the rat race

#255

Post by ericmcer »

gymbeaux wrote: post #167
paulpauper wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you think you feel bad being a cog and making a lot of, money, imagine how much it sucks being a cog and making much less in the service sector. Go to a Chipotle..there is a near 100% likelihood that the people preparing your food hate their jobs way more than you hate yours.

If I worked a blue-collar/service job, making 1/5th what I make as a SWE, having to commute, stand on my feet all day, deal with customers... I'd do drugs. Like I get it. I get why people do drugs. I get why people don't save money for retirement. Life sucks SO MUCH, that it's basically the daily $5 Starbucks drink or suicide. Make no mistake, for most people, life fucking sucks. Then some of you come into that Chipo…

I mean I worked at Safeway, Trader Joe’s and a bunch of other terrible jobs from age 15-27. Low skill labor/service jobs are not bad at all when you don’t have much context. Sharing one bathroom with 4 roommates who party constantly would be a nightmare for me now, but as an 18 year old who it was a paradise.

It’s all relative, and you are viewing their jobs through the lens of an engineer making 6 figures.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#256

Post by cpsns »

tiffanyh wrote: post #152
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

> I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. How much of your unhappiness is your job, or more so a function of having a continually growing list of responsibilities that can become to feel suffocating (e.g., marriage, kids, managing people at work, etc). Because it can be a taboo subject, I’ve seen people misattribute their unhappiness to a sin…

I have no kids and I have no relationships. I don’t manage people though work, though they’d like me more involved in a bunch of stuff. All I have is the cat and a house and the house actually brought me some peace of mind.

The idea of fathering a child is legitimate nightmare fuel for me. I already feel trapped as it is, though thankfully there’s no risk of it happening.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#257

Post by taneq »

bumby wrote: post #192
anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

“No one is going to talk me into…” is shorthand for “I’m not open to any other ideas that don’t align with my preconceived notions.” It’s not terribly productive on a site whose guidelines try to foster an open and curious conversation.

Did you read what came after “talk me into”? I think a preconceived notion that you want to make the most of your life isn’t something that you should necessarily be open to being talked out of.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#258

Post by ip26 »

siftrics wrote: post #215
piecerough wrote: post #15

"The truth is: nothing I’ve done or experienced in this place has given me any experience comparable to walking along the ridge between two mountains. Nothing has made me feel alive like getting in to freezing cold water despite my body screaming at me not to. Nothing has made me feel anything like that feeling when you summit a mountain after 2 hours of solid climbing in the rain, and the clouds part to reveal the m…

> If mountains become your life, it won't be long until they become the norm, making you flee back to some urban jungle. That's a really bold claim. I fail to see any evidence of it. Anecdotally, it's not true at all. A huge portion of my city dweller friends are miserable and constantly talk about quitting their jobs or moving. I cannot think of a single friend in the mountains who is as miserable. None of them want…

They might not be miserable, but I hear things like limited opportunity, a young man's game, poor schools, compassion fatigue, and the emotional drag of living in a superficial tourist hotspot. Overemphasis on machismo & bravado, alcoholism, excessive risk-taking, unhealthy levels of competition, very small social circles, etc. (That's the blue collar though, not wealthy FIRE folks)

I have mostly heard this from folks who have been there over a decade, often with young kids. Everywhere has its problems, of course; pick what matters to you.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#259

Post by chunk_waffle »

siftrics wrote: post #215
piecerough wrote: post #15

"The truth is: nothing I’ve done or experienced in this place has given me any experience comparable to walking along the ridge between two mountains. Nothing has made me feel alive like getting in to freezing cold water despite my body screaming at me not to. Nothing has made me feel anything like that feeling when you summit a mountain after 2 hours of solid climbing in the rain, and the clouds part to reveal the m…

> If mountains become your life, it won't be long until they become the norm, making you flee back to some urban jungle. That's a really bold claim. I fail to see any evidence of it. Anecdotally, it's not true at all. A huge portion of my city dweller friends are miserable and constantly talk about quitting their jobs or moving. I cannot think of a single friend in the mountains who is as miserable. None of them want…

> If mountains become your life, it won't be long until they become the norm, making you flee back to some urban jungle.

Anecdotally, this is somewhat true for me. My wife and I moved to a rural location last year and every few of months we make a trip to "civilization" (e.g. a major city) to "recharge". Waking up every day surrounded in nature and breathing in the sweet air of a pine forest is great, no doubt. But being able to walk to a pizza shop or bike to a park are something we really miss too.

We're in bit of a pickle though, our daughter will be starting school in a couple of years but the public schools here are not very good. They have some of the lowest scores in the state and the state's scores are some of the lowest in the country...

Re: Quitting the rat race

#260

Post by blahblah1234567 »

footlose_3815 wrote: post #228

>I’m excruciatingly lucky to have been in the right place at the right time This article is just another reminder that techbros making bank can afford the luxury to save-up a few years, and spend years contemplating their self-realization. I'm glad the author was able to finance their perspective-changing journey, but reading this is less of a lesson, and more of reading that someone won the lottery. You can only lea…

"techbro" always sounds like passive-aggresive envy to me.

As though the person saying it wish they were a technologist, so they could earn more.

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