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Never pay for online dating (2010)

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Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#251

Post by pksebben »

mpweiher wrote: post #210
Arkhaine_kupo wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whats inconvinient to the pollitically correct narrative is people with 0 scientific literacy making bold claims about society based on surveys on extremely sampled social studies. Doing a study on how "dateable" black women are based on a specific dating app in 2010 is like making claims on everyones eating habits based on a survey on a Burger king drive through. It will probably not be a very good survey. They also…

They're not surveys, and that's exactly the point. Surveys reveal how people claim to behave, which may nor not be how they actually think they behave, which may or may not be how they actually behave. If they were surveys, your criticism would be valid. Instead, this was about how people actually behave, so neither fooling themselves nor others.

whether it's a survey or not is a straw man, and you know it. it's bad faith to argue along these lines given that the primary criticism leveled was regarding sampling.

if you want to back up your point, speak to that. how does this show anything about the ~99% of people who have never used okcupid? on what grounds do you believe okcupid to be a representative sample?

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#252

Post by hahamrfunnyguy »

blfr wrote: post #196
Cloudef wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating apps do not work because you are not actually present. You have the attention of hundreds of people at the same time, so unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest. Most of the people are just looking for sex or something less serious, and the apps heavily paywall males. They are cancer. Meeting through friends is probably the safest, as that at least gives you some saf…

> unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest Well, yeah. You should meet up right away. What else you gonna do? Flirt over text for weeks?

This is how it's supposed to be done, after all the other person wants to meet you too. Typically, I make a suggestion of somewhere to meet during the first text conversation. Never had anyone decline the offer.

Most of my first dates have been enjoyable, even if I didn't see the person again. It's just pleasant casual conversation with a stranger.

I've only ever had one really bad first date, but now the story is quite entertaining. I had her meet me at a concert I was attending with friends. She spent the evening alternately hitting on my friends and crying in the corner. To be fair, I didn't have high expectations for that date anyway which is why I tried to fold it into something I was already doing.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#253

Post by cblum »

Paying for online dating was the reason I met my wife.

I had been using several dating apps and had paid subscriptions to all of them. I was getting burned out by the experience and decided to let my subscriptions expire and take a break from dating, so I wasn’t actively checking the apps anymore.

A paid feature of one of the apps I was paying for (Coffee Meets Bagel, for the curious) was that it notified me whenever someone liked my profile. One day I got one of those notifications, checked her profile and arranged a first date.

And now here we are, happily married :)

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#254

Post by webmobdev »

sangnoir wrote: post #163
houstonn wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More Orwellian still, they edited articles that contained data inconvenient to the politically correct narrative and elite ideology. Edit: Here's an example. “I’m bisexual.” REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender. People who describe themselves as bisexual overwhelmingly message either one sex or the other, not both as you might expect. https://web.archive.org/web/20170307114207/h…

> “I’m bisexual.” REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender This isn't the slam dunk it appears to be. A dietary equivalent would be "X% of self-professed omnivores avoid vegetarian dishes". They are open to the idea, but still have preferences. Just because one is open to the superset, doesn't mean they assign each subset equal weight.

That does sound a more sensible interpretation to me. I know many in India (where vegetarian diets are prevalent) who eat meat occasionally when they suddenly crave for it, but are mostly inclined towards a veg diet. And they think of cannot eat non-veg foods for all three meals or even continuously every day for even a week unlike some others who can't do without meat in a meal. Perhaps bisexuality is also a spectrum rather than a 50-50 thing?

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#255

Post by ketzo »

Cloudef wrote: post #142
mikepurvis wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you've already graduated university, aren't part of a religious community, and don't want to do the bar/club scene, what does that leave? Friends of friends, or family introductions? Activity groups like sports/dance? Your workplace, or the gym? Neighbours? Most of these are extremely hit and miss, and a lot of people have no interest in being hit on while trying to do their job or work out. Dating sites/apps abso…

Dating apps do not work because you are not actually present. You have the attention of hundreds of people at the same time, so unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest. Most of the people are just looking for sex or something less serious, and the apps heavily paywall males. They are cancer. Meeting through friends is probably the safest, as that at least gives you some saf…

I mean -- I've had multiple medium-to-long term, fulfilling relationships that started on dating apps. They do work sometimes.

Yeah, it's a shitty environment, and it's very much a numbers game (especially for hetero guys), but again -- you're coming from an extremely judgmental place.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#257

Post by soared »

ratww wrote: post #57
travisporter wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn’t hinge addressing this

Is it? To a complete outsider it feels as if Hinge is just becoming the new Tinder. Anecdotal of course (mostly from women friends), but partly supported by the growth of Hinge lately. People looking for relationships don't want to be matched with people only looking for hookups, and people looking for hookups don't want to part of a club that accepts them. Apps have the incentive to make money so they don't really d…

From my friend circle hinge is completely different than tinder/etc and built for the purpose of finding long term matches. Most of my friends, along with myself, found their SO on hinge.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#258

Post by mpweiher »

Arkhaine_kupo wrote: post #227
houstonn wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hypergamy is nonsense? I think you're confusing an opinion or desired reality with data and observed reality. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

Why link a page and not read it? In the "Mating preferences" blurb they discuss hypergamy as being reduced as gender equality reduces and even worse links to a study called "The end of hypergamy" where they discuss men stop dating down once women achieve educational parity. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5421994/ So yeah, if you come from a poor, unequal country women wanna marry and old rich university…

1. Maybe the parent did read the page?

"In a 2016 paper that explored the income difference between couples in 1980 and 2012, researcher Yue Qian noted that the tendency for women to marry men with higher incomes than themselves still persists in the modern era."

Emphasis mine.

2. Reduced ≠ eliminated

And of course, it says that "some research supports that theory," of that reduction. (again, emphasis mine). When you take a theory that has some support and then extrapolate from that theory to an end-state and claim that end state as certainty, you are leaving the realm of evidence and drifting off into pure fantasy.

> women being hypergamous and only liking the top profiles is not reproducible outside of dating apps, because it isn't real.

Actually it is real, as all the evidence shows. Including genetic evidence, which has concluded that historically, only around half of males reproduce, whereas almost all women do (apparently 40% vs. 80%).

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#260

Post by Cloudef »

imiric wrote: post #241
Cloudef wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating apps do not work because you are not actually present. You have the attention of hundreds of people at the same time, so unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest. Most of the people are just looking for sex or something less serious, and the apps heavily paywall males. They are cancer. Meeting through friends is probably the safest, as that at least gives you some saf…

> Dating apps do not work > unless you decide to meet up right away, the other party immediately loses interest. I think you're contradicting yourself, and making an objective statement from your subjective experience. Dating apps are best used to setup actual physical dates. They're the digital equivalent of making eye contact at a bar or party, and giving a stranger your contact information. All the while eliminati…

Yes, I agree I have bit of biased view here. I do find it very unnatural to go to blind date with person I barely know. Compared to something lets say bar, it's less unnatural because you both just happened to be there, maybe you both came with some other friends and just happened to start talking to each other. To be honest, I've had better experiences meeting people through non dating online communities than from dating apps, because you already have kind of an idea how the person you are meeting is like.
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