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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#251

Post by mvdwoord »

swat535 wrote: post #233
Draiken wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try

Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta was once asked during an interview how did you manage to help so many people? Her reply was: "I just started with one person". You don't need to look far to find someone who is hungry; sure many people on this orange site may not be hungry of food but I bet there are many who starved of love. It really doesn't take much to offer an ear to someone in this lonely day and age. Perhaps it'…

Mother Teresa may not be the best example here.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#252

Post by godfreyantonell »

swat535 wrote: post #233
Draiken wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try

Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta was once asked during an interview how did you manage to help so many people? Her reply was: "I just started with one person". You don't need to look far to find someone who is hungry; sure many people on this orange site may not be hungry of food but I bet there are many who starved of love. It really doesn't take much to offer an ear to someone in this lonely day and age. Perhaps it'…

Nice comment. I am in my 50's and a sysadmin for a large corporation. I absolutely love helping people when I can. I am gifted so that I can give. When I'm gone it won't be long before I'm completely forgotten. That's the way it is. Anyone who is finding life too bleak would do well to seek professional help.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#253

Post by code_runner »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

A few hobbies are fun even before you’re good. Baking can be a lot of fun… start with super detailed recipes and pay attention to the details. Eventually you learn to improvise and pick up little bits and pieces of how the ingredients work together.

Running/exercise is one with so many levels you can only truly compete with yourself to improve (and you’ll feel good).

Music is one that is sooo difficult. You suck for a long time, but can make incremental improvements.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#254

Post by jchanimal »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

If you aren't feeling motivated to add structure to plans, this helped me https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#256

Post by motohagiography »

Related to his conclusion: in one of the areas I train in, there is a famous saying where celebrating achievements is just admitting and accepting your level of mediocrity. Somewhere along the way I acquired a voice that asks, "Was that your level? Was that your price?" It's kind, but knows there's more.

I do a lot of things, but have learned to achieve nothing. The high points I had where I got some fame and recognition are mostly embarassing now, because they remind me of my conceits that get in the way of ideals I intend to spend a lifetime pursuing. Looking back on the thing you were famous for, was it your best? Does it define you today? Have you left your peak behind and you are less now than you were then? Probably not. To me achievements mean nothing unless they were humbling and converted ignorance into appreciation and humility. It's a tough way to be, but it yields a pretty interesting journey.

Sure, I have breakthrough moments. Getting code to work, getting a new piece of music under my fingers, winning a contract or solving a problem, forgiving the person I was who believed things I don't anymore, etc. But I've found expereriences are meaningless unless there is a way to share them to improve the lives of others, even if it's just to make them laugh, or perhaps to serve as a warning, often at the same time. Life isn't in your future and the reflected glory of your achievements, it's now, and you need to breathe it all in and exhale it, over and over again until you can't. I hope the author gets the opportunity to laugh at himself for thinking that his achievement of writing this for New Yorker was the best he could do. I'm pretty sure he's got so much more:)

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#257

Post by wmeredith »

Draiken wrote: post #235
matthewdgreen wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…

So is this the famous mid-life crisis everyone talks about? I never assumed this was it because I don't explicitly think about mortality all that much. I don't particularly mind that I'm going to die. I also haven't bought a Harley or have the will to do anything of the sorts. Guess I just have to figure out how to come out of it. It's been a slog and right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, hehe.

> So is this the famous mid-life crisis everyone talks about?

It sure sounds like it. Regarding "buying a Harley" I think that can act as a shorthand for "realizing life is short and doing something for yourself now that you have the means and while you can enjoy it", which is a good idea in my opinion.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#258

Post by bacro »

Draiken wrote: post #235
matthewdgreen wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happens to everyone in their 30s. You realize that "dying someday" -- which seemed like a big distant hypothetical when you were a kid -- is actually a thing that will happen on a timescale you can reason about. Your career gets hard and you don't really know the point of it. It takes a while to get over it. Then you hit your 40s and you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die b…

So is this the famous mid-life crisis everyone talks about? I never assumed this was it because I don't explicitly think about mortality all that much. I don't particularly mind that I'm going to die. I also haven't bought a Harley or have the will to do anything of the sorts. Guess I just have to figure out how to come out of it. It's been a slog and right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, hehe.

I don't mind dying really and I am in my 40s and haven't accomplished much of what I wanted. However, my life is getting better and better. Better job, better pay, working from home, got a few cats that are amazing for stress and bought a new place for me. As I love to learn new things everyday, life is just getting better and better.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#259

Post by wing-_-nuts »

alexonaci wrote: post #141
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

Agree, and this is definetly not a popular opinion nowadays. But you could try having kids. You’ll find the meaning like a fire under the arse

An existential crisis of meaning is a terrible reason to have kids.

Have kids because you wish to raise another human from infant to fully formed adult, and are willing to make the huge sacrifices that requires. Don't have them to try and plug some sort of hole in your life.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#260

Post by r0rshrk »

mjg59 wrote: post #106

Growing up, the idea of a career in computing was implausible. The only computing course my school offered was scheduled against doing a full science course, and they had nothing for the 16-18 range. The local night school programming class I signed up for was cancelled because I was the only person who signed up for it. My parents made it extremely clear that the idea that I could ever make money writing software wa…

> I'm at peace with the fact that I'm never going to found the next unicorn company or be CEO of Google or even write some software that a lot of people care about.

There's nothing that's stopping you from creating that first personal project, which other people eventually care about.

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