The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness • Hacker News Board

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#251

Post by AlwaysRock » Wed, Dec 08, 2021, 3:49 PM UTC

kelseyfrog wrote: post #191

AlwaysRock wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I got involved with a weekly online poker game with some college buddies early on during the pandemic. It's been life changing. I know at least once a week I'm hanging out with friends and there are no expectations or pressure other than shooting the shit and playing poker. I'm drastically less lonely based on that one life change. It's incredible what a difference that can make.

Fantastic advice! Lately I've been re-thinking how I've made friends throughout my life. I had some things right but some others were misguided. Creating intentional spaces was something right. I put myself into situations where I could be friendly with workmates during lunch and definitely felt engaged and friendly with the people there. Over the years though, it felt more and more hollow. We've had time to step bac…

Absolutely. I don't get a lot out of small talk. (or "people talk") Some people do and that is certainly easier to get that from co workers. I like deep talk. Or talking about ideas. Sometimes you can get that from coworkers but typically that type of stuff isnt directly tied to work so its cut off after a 45 minute lunch or is relegated to office happy hours which is fine but again I don't find booze helps with actually feeling connected. It just tricks one into thinking they feel connected for a time. But that another topic entirely.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#252

Post by goldenchrome » Wed, Dec 08, 2021, 4:43 PM UTC

papito wrote: post #250

goldenchrome wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You think people would be nicer to others if they were prevented from socializing, a basic human function, and taught to fear their fellow man—for two whole years?

I don't translate the possibility of someone being infected into my personal attitude toward them. I go out of my way to be nice to service industry people, and tip them extra-well too.

It's nice that you don't seem to be affected by the propaganda, but most others are. This makes society difficult to live in for everyone.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#253

Post by mensetmanusman » Thu, Dec 09, 2021, 2:59 PM UTC

kelseyfrog wrote: post #229

tsol wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How did Thatcher make it so Americans don't really bother to know their neighbors anymore(can your believe people used to borrow a cup of sugar from their neighbors-- now I feel like that'd make be seen as crazy)? How did she make it so that people feel like calling is weird and people should just text(and dropping by unannounced is just annoying, even if your a friend, which in the past was considered an occasion to…

Please don't mistake my including that quote as asserting that Thatcher single-handedly lowered social trust. I used it as an example that sums up a broader ideological goal of a larger group of people. We both agree on the implications of such a change. Maybe you agree that some people pushed for systems which resulted in this conclusion and some occurred by other factors?

Happened all over the world in different systems. My friends from Ukraine recall living under the iron curtain when religious gatherings were banned and the communists trying to spread fear of neighbor (you could be ratted on) and the benefit those in power achieved when the citizens didn’t trust each other.

I think the powers that be benefit when citizens don’t trust each other in almost every hierarchical system because it’s a more stable condition (people aren’t banding together for the greater good).

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#254

Post by mensetmanusman » Thu, Dec 09, 2021, 6:30 PM UTC

kelseyfrog wrote: post #191

AlwaysRock wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I got involved with a weekly online poker game with some college buddies early on during the pandemic. It's been life changing. I know at least once a week I'm hanging out with friends and there are no expectations or pressure other than shooting the shit and playing poker. I'm drastically less lonely based on that one life change. It's incredible what a difference that can make.

Fantastic advice! Lately I've been re-thinking how I've made friends throughout my life. I had some things right but some others were misguided. Creating intentional spaces was something right. I put myself into situations where I could be friendly with workmates during lunch and definitely felt engaged and friendly with the people there. Over the years though, it felt more and more hollow. We've had time to step bac…

I like the adage ‘community is showing up’

Weekly seems important. I am part of a mens group that has coffee weekly at 6AM, it’s awesome.