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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

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251–260 of 1001 posts

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#251

>I don’t think most female founders even realize that they’re getting different advice than their male counterparts. Silicon Valley has always run on candor, but it’s being stifled at the moment, and no one is noticing that we are the collateral damage. Imagine what it's like being the intended target and not just "collateral damage". It's not a problem that men are nervous to be candid but it's a problem that women…

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Have you felt the need to fix rape and murder, which other men have given to society in a manner far over representative relative their demographics?

Maybe if this author was encouraging twitter lynch mobs with scant evidence it would be an apt point, but I don't think there is any sign of that. She doesn't owe the world anything because some other women did something.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#252

This is kind of the end result we're heading for, where you can only talk candidly with people who are equal or lower than you on the oppression hierarchy. The shitty part is that I'm pretty sure 99% of people are reasonable human beings but the media has to make it seem like that isn't the case so the risk equation changes. Similar to how kids used to roam around the neighborhood but now it's deemed too risky becaus…

I don't blame the media for this. The media just magnifies a very real and sizable aspect of our culture that already exists.

Just like how these people are seeking someone to blame, you are seeking the same when you blame the media. It's not just the media, what's going on here is something we're all responsible for.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#253
post #121

should be more female investors

So every article must address both sides? Always? This is like complaining that one picture of black harvard law graduates didn't include black women (yes, I actually saw this on linkedin)

This article is clearly about how all of these false accusations and woke mobs ultimately harm minorities.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#254
post #219
post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> people who are equal or lower than you on the oppression hierarchy This supposed hierarchy of oppression, based on identity characteristics such as race, gender and sexuality, really is the biggest scam going. Almost all of the oppression we see around us can be explained by wealth disparities, corruption, and abuse of power. Yet, identarians insist on shoehorning everything into their flawed worldview. The Black L…

> Almost all of the oppression we see around us can be explained by wealth disparities I recently talked to a mom who visited her adult foster daughter with a different skin tone. Her daughter reminded her to make sure she doesn't forget her ID in the hotel. The mom was confused. They were just going to take a walk in Munich. Why would she need an ID? She never has an ID on her when she goes for a walk. The daughter…

ok but the parent comment was discussing policing and blackness in America, I don't agree with their conclusions but at any rate comparing that situation to policing in Munich doesn't really make much sense.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#255

  And the consequences of being accused of sexism by an 
  online mob have now become so extreme that many investors 
  don’t want to risk it anymore. 
Forgive me, but, what exactly are these "consequences"? I can see it for e.g. line employees, especially in communications or media roles, but for investors? What happens, they lose some Twitter followers? Slightly fewer companies beg them for money? I've never ever heard of an investor suffering at all because of social media outrage and I'm tempted to speculate it's never happened.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> Ultimately I think it’s on men to learn how to handle giving candid advice in a non-sexist manner. And how would that be in this case?

"Hey XXX,and YYY, do you have time for a discussion tomorrow at lunch? I noticed some things that make me think the company could benefit from you two swapping some responsibilities. I've noticed XXX struggles to aaa,for example aaa1, aaa2 and at aaa3, and at aaa4 YYY seemed to feel very comfortable doing aaa despite having less experienced, and conversely I think XXX's experience might be better suited for bbb, beca…

That's a nice thought, and might work if the person can articulate the differences well enough. But the entire point of the article is that no matter the argument or ability to make it, there is a fear that the woman might claim sexism simply because he suggested she step out of the CEO role and let the other person (a man) have it (reasons be damned). Even if everything was fine among those 3 people, someone else might take to twitter and frame it as sexist - especially if the advice was taken.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#257
It's similar to how we get little/no feedback from job interviews and applications because of a couple of outliers making giving feedback not worth the trouble

Has it always been this way or was there a time long ago where it's common to receive feedback? (I've only been working professionally for ~5 years)

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's more like reverse sexism here. I totally get the behaviour here. You simply don't want to be on the receiving end of potential backlash when you're just trying to help someone. The calculus being you feel as if you might make a genuine remark only to receive a response interpreting said remark as the product of sexism e.g "out of persons A and B, I think B should run the company" where A is a woman and B is a ma…

One of the toughest things about discrimination is being able to prove it. I'm a white man, but I spent time living in Japan where I was an obvious minority. Some situations were clear to me that I was being treated a particular way because of my race. But then others were not so clear cut. For example, one time I was talking in Japanese with a group and someone kept repeating what I said like "He said...". I was get…

I have this issue with my SO where I'll sigh heavily and she'll interpret it as me disapproving of whatever she just did or did not do, inventing scenarios in case there's no immediately obvious cause.

Instead my head is somewhere else entirely, and I might have been annoyed at myself for forgetting to pick something up at the store or whatever.

We've gotten better at handling it, I try to remind myself to immediately tell her it wasn't her, and she asking me what it was if I forget. But there has been a lot of unnecessary bad times that originated from such episodes...

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#259
I had an experience at work where a coworker (who is black) shared his experience of being told to "stay in his lane" early on in his career. The insinuation was of course racism, he didn't mention it but it was obvious. Then I and someone else (who are white) shared our exact same experiences.

He told me he felt cut off, etc, even though we were sharing the same experience. If we had something similar happen, how can he definitively attribute that experience to racism? Even if it was, that was not the point of the conversation. We were all sharing our experiences on that topic and no one mentioned race. Why do we need to bend ourselves backwards to make sure all minorities feel comfortable all the time?

The point here is you can't talk to minority groups about anything these days, if you are white.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up

#260

Anecdotal but my office is ultra -woke. There are endless internal emails about whatever-week, or veterans-this, or LBGTQ+-that etc etc. People have been hounded out and either quit or been fired for fairly minor "infractions" of the groupthink (...and also some people have rightly been fired for actual inappropriate behaviour). And guess what all this talk about "toxic masculinity" and generally vilifying all men le…

I could not see myself working for such a company.
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