This is not entirely accurate, travelling for 3 hours is not very common, most people travel less than an hour and they do it on a train where they can read or play or listen to something, it is not that bad comparing to the US where most people drive to work and waste a lot of their time. After work dinners/drinks are not every day, maybe once a week or two in average and are actually a lot of fun for most people.
Regarding women, the Japanese women do the same work women do in the west only in Japan they give it the true name, "office lady" which is equivalent to secretary rather than some fancy "document controller" or "diversity officer". The ones who actually do non secretarial jobs are titled and respected exactly like their male peers, at least at the places where I worked.
Many Japanese women choose to raise their kids rather than spend their life in an office, they contribute more to the economy by doing this than many office ladies and I wish more people in the west will realise that women are not that beneficial to the economy as we like to think they are. They don't create new businesses, they don't innovate and they are good only for very specific jobs, the rest are are net loss comparing to an housewife from a pure economic view. That's why also buying an apartment in Tokyo is cheaper than most other major cities, because the prices are adjusted to one person working in an household, not to two.
The Japanese mix old wisdom with new tech, that's why almost anybody who get a chance to live there is amazed by their lifestyle and the way everything is working. It is true conservatism as it should be, slow progress while taking into account the wisdom of past generations, especially when it comes to social changes. That's how you end up with a society where you can forget your purse in the street and find it the next day in the same place or the police box, rather than 70% out of wedlock pregnancy rate and lives that matter, or not.