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People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

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Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#251

Post by mnowicki »

0x445442 wrote: post #87
astuyvenberg wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the person earning 150% more than _them_ isn't purchasing a Tesla. It's a Lamborghini or a Bugatti. It's not a 3br home in SF - it's a summer home in Napa, or a chalet in Tahoe. The person earning 150% more than _them_ is coveting the latest Bell Jetranger, or Gulfstream G700. The obsession for more is the same at all levels.

You know I hear this argument a lot and I don't buy it because it ignores a baseline at the lower end. I think there are a lot of people that are not concerned with the luxuries you reference but are deeply concerned with their base needs and random setbacks life throws at them. They basically want to save for a rainy day so as avoid stress when they encounter bumps in the road. It's like asking someone who works for…

I think the baseline becomes irrelevant at around 50k, maybe up to 100k-150k in some areas, but in those areas it's not hard to make 150k as a software engineer.

I make 75k and save almost half my income while having all the material items that I want. Granted I don't want a lot, but I actually believe quite strongly that not having that constant desire for more and nicer material items makes me much happier than those who are stuck in that cycle.

Not to sound douchy but I think that kind of materialism that is so extremely common across all levels of society seems to me like such an enormous and obvious problem that most people fall into for some reason regardless of how smart they are, and they would almost all be significantly happier just not caring about such sh*t. It's a crutch and prevents people from finding real meaning and happiness and for most it lasts their whole life or at least until they are too old to change.

I know this isn't a novel idea, any slightly rebellious teenager can and will point out the obvious harm of this kind of mindset, but that only makes people disregard it even more. It's such an obvious problem, and most people even agree when you point it out, but then those same people live out the rest of their lives without doing anything about it.

I blame social pressure and peoples tendency to not wander to far from the norm, combined with some conditioning and of course the addiction-mimicking dopamine effects

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#252

Post by johnsimer »

fybe wrote: post #177
wenc wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gates did. Not sure either Musk or Jobs had rich families. You may want to check that.

Musk's family owned an emerald mine in south africa

Nope, that business insider article had no sources, and according to Musk is false

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#253

Post by sushisource »

philwelch wrote: post #219
bambax wrote: post #22

OT, and possibly unpopular here, but this really gets on my nerves: > In Paul Graham’s essay on, How to Do what You Love* he warns us about the prestige trap: (...) you have to like the actual work of novel-writing if you’re going to be good at it; you have to like making up elaborate lies* PG's contempt for anything literary pervades in many of his essays, which may reveal some kind of unhealthy obsession, esp. for…

Novels don't contain some otherwise ineffable TRUTH (in all-capital letters), they're just made-up stories for entertainment. Which is a perfectly fine thing for people to work on and to enjoy. If anything this bizarre attitude that literature "may be the only way to gain an actual comprehension of human nature" might be an artifice of people's desire for success and prestige--puffery motivated by a personal insecuri…

Additional support: Most good novelists lived interesting lives

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#254

Post by mentos »

andreilys wrote: post #241
OscarCunningham wrote: post #226

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a strong claim given that we don't yet fully understand the laws of physics.

It's a pretty open-ended claim, I'm happy to hear your rebuttal though if you think Marcus Auerlis will be remembered 1,000 to 1 billion+ years from now.

What if the universe repeats itself?

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity"

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#255

Post by datavirtue »

fourmyle wrote: post #218
tmh88j wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this a joke? $350k annual income puts you in the top 1% of earners in the US. Surely you don't believe less than 1% of people in the US can live comfortably and have a safety net, do you?

Going through the realization right now that I need to go “FANG” or get out of the Bay Area right now. Just got engaged and I have been looking at costs. I thought I could make a small family work here on $170k. That’s dead wrong. I would need at least $300k to make a family of 4 comfortable here. My wife and I both want her to stay at home and focus on the kids and she makes non tech money anyway. Even at this amoun…

Cincinnati here. Tons of high paying jobs. No traffic. Plenty of outdoors and hipster life stuff. Very nice houses are super cheap right next to thousands of jobs. I live five minutes from work, no highway, fifteen year loan on a house we are in love with in a great neighborhood. $1200 a month. Imagine that on your salary...you can LA d a job here making the numbers you have in saturated valley.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#256

Post by vkou »

minblaster wrote: post #204
bumby wrote: post #168

From David Brooks: "I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being — whether you are kind, brave,…

“You’ll care less what others think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”

But you'll care a hell of a lot about what other people think of you when that thinking is the difference between having food on the table for your kids, or seeing them go hungry.

That's generally why people give so much of a shit about resume values.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#257

Post by danielovichdk »

Never underestimate low self-esteem. It's a bitch to be around and so obvious it's caused be deeper issues.

My own subjective belief about male subjects around this matter - success and fame - , is circeling around father-issues and the lack of gratitude and applause from him.

I have worked with so many 9f these kinds, and IT is full of them. Most of these people are boring, exactly because their goals lean towards being someone or something. Ego-centric and primadonna individuals who will run you over, if they can be successful.

Decency is lost and forgotten virtue in too many people. But in the end, they will realize that being a success will not make you happy and What a waste of time.

Also, What is it you want to be known for? A frame work? An app?

Give me a break. Your grandkids will have forgotten you by the time they have their own kids.

I don't have a lot of money, but I am so successful you can't measure it.

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#258

Post by tmh88j »

fourmyle wrote: post #218
tmh88j wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this a joke? $350k annual income puts you in the top 1% of earners in the US. Surely you don't believe less than 1% of people in the US can live comfortably and have a safety net, do you?

Going through the realization right now that I need to go “FANG” or get out of the Bay Area right now. Just got engaged and I have been looking at costs. I thought I could make a small family work here on $170k. That’s dead wrong. I would need at least $300k to make a family of 4 comfortable here. My wife and I both want her to stay at home and focus on the kids and she makes non tech money anyway. Even at this amoun…

>That’s dead wrong. I would need at least $300k to make a family of 4 comfortable here.

The Bay Area has a combined population of over 7 million, with a mean household income of $137k. It sounds like you have unreasonable expectations if you need at least $300k to live comfortably.

https://sf.curbed.com/2019/2/25/18239828/report-middle-class...

https://smartasset.com/retirement/average-salary-in-san-fran...

https://www.sfgate.com/expensive-san-francisco/article/SF-ho...

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#259

Post by vkou »

akhilcacharya wrote: post #230
beamatronic wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cheap homes in the Bay Area have terrible schools. You’ll need to factor in private school if you go that route. That’s $25k per kid per year.

What exactly is a "terrible school"? My elementary and middle schools were 4/10 and 5/10 on "Greatschools" in North Carolina.

In the Bay area?

Judging by this subthread, it's a school where people who 'merely' make 170k/year send their children to.

You really don't want to get your kids mixed up with that kind of hoi polloi. /snark

Re: People Who Are Obsessed with Success and Prestige

#260

Post by Consultant32452 »

bsanr2 wrote: post #217
akhilcacharya wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Strictly in my case, even 4 or 5 levels of these jumps is still FAANG total compensation, so no Lamborghinis or Summer homes. Ultimately the super-rich that can afford those things are still orders of magnitude richer than people that just save/conservatively invest.

Depends on where the home is. With admonishments from every corner for my not squirreling away $100/month out of my ~$1800 take-home pay, someone making $250k a year should be able to easily put away the linear equivalent of $10k a year. 5 years of that is a down payment on something decent, somewhere decent. Of course, my bread costs about as much as their bread, so they could probably getaway with a bit more. It's…

Just to toss out another example. I make about $150k. I'm a single father. I put the legal maximum into my retirement account every year, which I think is $19k this year. I have 6 months of expenses saved up in my emergency fund. We take a nice vacation every year and have luxuries like season passes to Broadway. Yes, I think it's all about making good financial decisions.
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