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Facebook Dating

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Re: Facebook Dating

#251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> it's that there are very different faces of ourselves that we show to the professional world, to our friends, to partners, and to the world at large I think Facebook's goal is to make it so that you have one persona you show to everyone. To me, that seems like a cultural thing unique to Silicon Valley that the rest of the world does not necessarily want. It seems like a mistake. If you have one persona, that means…

It's not just you! I have a Facebook (relatively unfiltered, friends-and-comrades-only), a Twitter (kept "academic casual"), and a LinkedIn (kept really stiflingly conformist and corporate). I'm married, so I don't have to worry about dating or dating apps, but dear God, if someone wanted me to use the same persona for every social profile, I'd just shut all of them down. Hell, I already deleted my reddit account las…

I deleted my Facebook account ages ago because I needed different personas for different groups of friends, never mind coworkers. Just too much work to try to maintain separation. Terrible place for honest discussion.

Re: Facebook Dating

#252
post #239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, are you saying that Tinder will show you accounts that you've swiped left on at a later date? I have not found that to be the case.

Yes, I've personally seen memorable profiles come back later. It's one way to make the app seem busier with more people.

Interesting. I wonder if this is people deleting and re-creating accounts? Or spam accounts using the same images?

Re: Facebook Dating

#253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you have one persona, that means that you need to optimize that persona for your career and ironically it feels more stiflingly conformist. I understand where you're coming from, but this statement isn't necessarily a truism. You can wear who you are on your sleeve and even be quite extreme, if you're a reasonable person who can build and maintain professional relationships. I do almost everything online under m…

You describe yourself as extreme, but then say people are evenly split between those who disagree and agree with your stances. So while your position may feel extreme, in consequence it is the definition of moderate. And obviously you are coming from a specific background and applying for types of jobs where a your contribution is valuable enough to the company that they are willing to overlook potential political is…

> Edit: After googling you, you are awesome, fountain pens are awesome, and smart people everywhere should want to hire you.

LOL - well, thank you very much!

Fountain pens are in fact awesome. I'm carrying a semi-custom Indian pen today, an ASA Galactic. I replaced the nib it came with with a TWSBI #6 in extra-fine that I pulled off a broken Vac700. I've smoothed it a great deal and it's probably somewhere between a medium and a fine right now. I have a broad nib that will fit it as well that I'm thinking of grinding into an Architect. My work notebook is a top-bound Clairefontaine A4. I prefer French ruled, but am using "plain" ruled right now.

Re: Facebook Dating

#254

I think this might be a (relatively) rare strategy error for Facebook. If the success of Snapchat, LinkedIn, and also the separate WhatsApp/Instagram properties proves anything, it's that there are very different faces of ourselves that we show to the professional world, to our friends, to partners, and to the world at large. If I was facebook, I would very explicitly announce this as a spin out project, under a diff…

> it's that there are very different faces of ourselves that we show to the professional world, to our friends, to partners, and to the world at large I think Facebook's goal is to make it so that you have one persona you show to everyone. To me, that seems like a cultural thing unique to Silicon Valley that the rest of the world does not necessarily want. It seems like a mistake. If you have one persona, that means…

It wouldnt be as big a deal, had facebook started as your "public" identity, like linkedin. But instead everybody who signed up 10 years ago was using it as their "private identity with a couple friends."

Re: Facebook Dating

#255
post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, I've personally seen memorable profiles come back later. It's one way to make the app seem busier with more people.

Interesting. I wonder if this is people deleting and re-creating accounts? Or spam accounts using the same images?

Oh, that might be possible. I mostly remember the photos and not the details of the profile, which by design is pretty thin as it is.

Re: Facebook Dating

#257

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The ad's photograph isn't targeted at older people.

That's a common mistake. Ads don't always (and you could argue rarely) show their target demographic. Easy example: ever seen an overweight person in a fast food commercial?

The era of 'supersize me' fast food marketing is long gone. Most fast food restaurants are not targeting that specific of a market anymore, they're aiming at a much large cross-section of the population. A better example would be an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Re: Facebook Dating

#258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Okay, try putting "Card-carrying gun owner and anti-abortion activist" on your resume and apply for big tech companies. Or hell, even start a personal blog using your real name talking about opinions that are anathema to coastal dwellers. Watch your callback rate dramatically decline. I grew up in a suburb of a conservative state, and I learned early on when to show "who I am and what I really believe" and when to be…

> Okay, try putting "Card-carrying gun owner and anti-abortion activist" on your resume and apply for big tech companies. Well, a resume isn't a place for that sort of thing at all, but I do pretty much that now. My name is unique - look me up. For what that's worth, a good portion of my posts even here on HN have something to do with guns. I try to be more "informative" than "confrontational", but that's because of…

> I'm an anarchist. The license plate on my Jeep is literally "ANARCHY." I'm actually not sure I could name a political position that's more strongly opposed by more people.

You're not an anarchist and you should stop try to adopt an identity with a vivid anti-capitalist history to represent your desire for corporate feudalism with guns. Anarchists are socialists and anything otherwise is misusing the word.

You aren't harassed for your beliefs because people with your economic beliefs literally hold every branch of government.

I'm sure you'll come back with something about republicans wanting big government to police morality, but those differences mean almost nothing when your economic incentives are aligned.

Re: Facebook Dating

#259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating sucks, but I'm still more uncomfortable with the idea of somebody's initial meeting being reduced to matching algorithms.

In my opinion, it might actually prove to be better than letting people decide based on super superficial attributes on dating profiles. Online dating completely sucks, guys have no choice, girls have too many bad choices.

There are other dating apps outside of Tinder and Bumble. I am married, so I don't use them personally, but my friends use/used Tinder/Bumble for more casual dating/hook ups. When they were looking for something a little more serious they would use something like OK Cupid to provide matches based on similar interests.

Either way, I don't see how online dating will ever not suck. I have no clue how it is in gay communities, but I do not see straight people's problems ever being different: i.e. Women having to deal with the ocean of terrible men, and Men having the problem of trying to stand out in that ocean (and in some of my male friends cases, not being so picky).

Re: Facebook Dating

#260
post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you have one persona, that means that you need to optimize that persona for your career and ironically it feels more stiflingly conformist. I understand where you're coming from, but this statement isn't necessarily a truism. You can wear who you are on your sleeve and even be quite extreme, if you're a reasonable person who can build and maintain professional relationships. I do almost everything online under m…

Gosh man, I really mean no offense to you, but I am really glad people I work with are not this open about their viewpoints. Plenty of people probably think some of my views are wacko, but because they are reletively personal, noone needs to confront my wacko views. I would really prefer not to work with anyone who openly and gleefully calls themselves an anarcho-capitalist. I probably work with some people that hold…

> Gosh man, I really mean no offense to you, but I am really glad people I work with are not this open about their viewpoints.

No offense taken whatsoever.

I will note that "open" is not the same thing as "aggressive". I'm not trying to convert anyone, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable at work. For one thing, I'm an empathetic person and don't like to think that I've unintentionally offended someone. For another... if someone is working with me, by definition we're contributing toward the same things. Alienating them would harm damage that cooperative action, and I wouldn't be there if I didn't think it was right.

> I would really prefer not to work with anyone who openly and gleefully calls themselves an anarcho-capitalist.

Why? People's actions are what I care about, not their reasons for them.

At a previous employer I was working to increase access to scientific publications and supporting materials to the general public. One of the reasons I think that's important is because much of the work is funded by taxes, and I view it as much worse to use tax dollars for private gain than to use it and at least make the results available to anyone. Several of my coworkers were authoritarian socialists of various stripes. Their reasons for wanting to make that stuff available were wholly different from mine - but we shared a common cause. We'd discuss politics sometimes over beers or after a "crunch time" when we were all in the office at 2am and a bit delirious, but otherwise it just didn't come up.

> without needing to confront that

Ahh, that's the rub. I know I'm an extreme minority politically. I know many of the people I work with and interact with on a daily basis hold positions antithetical to my own. I have zero desire to "confront" that. Discuss it? Sure, if they're open to it. I'm happy to debate if someone wants to do so (and if they're similarly willing to not make it personal), because that's how I arrived at my positions.

Metaphorically, I feel like my positions have been forged over time by repeatedly beaten against the anvil of others' positions. Where they were deformed, they were weak. I modified them and repeated the process. At 35 years old, I feel like my views are fairly rigid - but that doesn't mean they are unchangeable, and it's because I continually do my best to test them and look for weaknesses. To me, a good political discussion is one where I come away with something to think about that I hadn't considered before. A great one would be where an inconsistency in my positions was pointed out to me.

I actively try to avoid this conversations with coworkers, because many people aren't comfortable with them. That's OK. If they change their mind later I'm happy to oblige, but it's not like forcing people to argue politics is something desirable.

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