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How will the miracle happen today?

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Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#241

Post by robaato »

NaOH wrote: post #164
Fiveplus wrote: post #32

I couldn't help but focus on the vicarious adventure aspect Kelly mentions which was the "payment" he offered drivers in exchange for the ride. This is a mechanism that has largely been deprecated by the modern attention economy. In the era of hitchhiking, the bandwidth for novelty was low. A driver on a long commute had no podcasts, no Spotify or audiobooks. A stranger with a story was high value. The transaction wa…

It's a choice. I go to the supermarket twice a week, not shopping for much. I switched the store I use three, four months ago, but I can already talk about some of the employees at the store I visit. Louis is back where he grew up right now because his 97-year-old grandfather died. Among other things, he feels lucky grandpa's passing came after the new year because of his time-off allotment. Nikki had great holidays,…

My aunt lived to 94 and was in a retiremement community outside Boston. She never married (had some long term relationships) but was always interested in people. I used to visit regularly from the UK, and she was always introducing me to people around the community, nurses, helpers, gardeners, whatever. She would invariably give me a potted life history of these people, who she might only have known a few months.

No need for crosswords or other activities to keep her brain active - talking to people and remembering their stories is what kept her going!

Before moving to the community, she had a house in Cambridge (Boston) and let out the upper floor to students, post grads etc - and kept up with many of them long after they had left. Connection was definitly a skill of hers.

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#243

Post by TimByte »

Fiveplus wrote: post #32

I couldn't help but focus on the vicarious adventure aspect Kelly mentions which was the "payment" he offered drivers in exchange for the ride. This is a mechanism that has largely been deprecated by the modern attention economy. In the era of hitchhiking, the bandwidth for novelty was low. A driver on a long commute had no podcasts, no Spotify or audiobooks. A stranger with a story was high value. The transaction wa…

Now interruption is the default state, and attention is already fully saturated before another human even enters the picture

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#244

Post by TimByte »

arjie wrote: post #183

Before I quit riding my motorcycle, I recalled one important thing: all the way from the Oakland Hills to downtown San Francisco, many (I dare say 'most') drivers would step their cars to the edges of their lanes to make room for me to lane-split. I know there are lots of people who use their phones will driving, but this was clearly intentional, and a large number of people would do it. I was riding a Ducati but in…

Just people choosing to be slightly more attentive than they strictly need to be

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#245

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

Fiveplus wrote: post #32

I couldn't help but focus on the vicarious adventure aspect Kelly mentions which was the "payment" he offered drivers in exchange for the ride. This is a mechanism that has largely been deprecated by the modern attention economy. In the era of hitchhiking, the bandwidth for novelty was low. A driver on a long commute had no podcasts, no Spotify or audiobooks. A stranger with a story was high value. The transaction wa…

I'm fortunate, in that I participate in an "extracurricular" organization, in which we constantly tell each other our stories.

Most are damn interesting. People pay money, for fiction, that isn't as interesting as the stories I hear, almost daily, from the folks that lived them.

It's interesting, when someone talks about how he was shot, then pulls up his shirt, to show you the scar.

> "War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull."

- Mark Twain

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#246

Post by iammjm »

jkingsman wrote: post #142
pizzathyme wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would encourage people to test this out for themselves, I think you will find a different result. People today are starved for in-person connection, but are afraid to initiate the conversation. This doesn't come naturally to me, but after working on it over a few years, 95% of the time strangers are excited to chat and say hi and make a friend.

You mentioned working on it — do you have a particular strategy, venue, or opening line/guiding ethos that you find works well? I love making friends with strangers, but usually rely on the "handshake protocol" of a casual observation or small talk that is then accepted (with a similar slight-deepening or extension of the thought) or rejected (casual assent or no response at all), until the bandwidth opens and I can…

I found out that everybody has at least one subject that they are super passionate and knowledgeable about, and that I can learn at least this one thing from any human being. So instead of pushing the conversation into my areas of expertise, I find it more fun for everybody to let people steer it to what they really care about. This way we both get a sense of connection, it takes the weight of my shoulder to have to perform or amuse people, I get to learn random interesting things, and on top of that people think I am an amazing conversational partner, even though its them who do most of the talking (lol). Sometime people go full autistic on you and give you a massive ear beating but then you always have the option of saying "hey, it's been great talking to you, but I gotta run for a $thing. see you around!"

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#247

Post by haritha-j »

f1shy wrote: post #48
lukan wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I say it depends how he communicated it. If the other persons assumed he did not have money at all (and he was not clear about it) it is close to fraud - otherwise it is an awesome exercise in humbleness and expanding ones mind about the illusion of money. Not being dependent on it. I used to hitchhike with a very low budget, but liked my independence and feel not comfortable to be dependant on other people, if there…

> But buddies I travelled with took the no money approach serious (despite also having a bank account somewhere). Partly ideological, partly spiritual motivations. Not being dependant on money. It is freeing. I knew a ridiculous rich guy, who said the parents: “I do not want money from you, I will manage alone” He went to another city (where I met him) and he always bragged about how “liberating” it was, and how grow…

Poverty isn't surviving on beans and bread, or skipping a meal. It isn't sharing a tiny one bed apartment with 4 others. It's the fear of starvation. The fear of not being able to feed your family, or keep them warm in the cold.

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#248

Post by DoneWithAllThat »

arjie wrote: post #183

Before I quit riding my motorcycle, I recalled one important thing: all the way from the Oakland Hills to downtown San Francisco, many (I dare say 'most') drivers would step their cars to the edges of their lanes to make room for me to lane-split. I know there are lots of people who use their phones will driving, but this was clearly intentional, and a large number of people would do it. I was riding a Ducati but in…

I ride as part of my daily commute and have for decades. I am still constantly amazed at how frequently drivers move over for me. Especially when there’s a lot of traffic or congestion - these people are stuck going slow, see me going faster in their mirror, and their response is still to move aside for me. I’m eternally grateful to these people.

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#249

Post by Archer6621 »

Supermancho wrote: post #148
fwipsy wrote: post #49

I'm trying to square this guy's experience with all of the homeless people who don't seem nearly so lucky. Or perhaps they are being helped and supported and I don't see it? I agree with others here that the notion of relying on others so completely makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm a burden. But I think that's part of what the author intends to draw attention to. Wouldn't a world where everyone freely supports e…

> I'm trying to square this guy's experience with all of the homeless people who don't seem nearly so lucky. Although I don't think there's an image to confirm, "Informed Attractiveness", aka "Pretty people are always happy to espouse how friendly strangers are to them" - probably applies. There's also simple charisma which carries a long way. I wouldn't say I was ever super hot (maybe a 7 at one point), but I can po…

Important point. AKA the halo effect, and it can have a significant influence. In general, I feel that this is a more widespread problem with stories and experiences such as these - there are simply too many "hidden" variables to take them at face value. Environment, genetics, circumstances, upbringing, cognitive biases and instinctual/biological human nature all work together to create a cocktail of unique experiences, leading to unique conclusions.

Re: How will the miracle happen today?

#250

Post by Sxubas »

I think this explains something of our human nature that we would not even know we have: It is coded within us to help people in need as we can very well be there at any future moment.

Just think about it, we are a social species and without this type of behaviors it makes no sense for individuals to stay together. It is a strategy of our genes to keep successfully replicating.

But even so, I agree with the author there is something really spiritual about this: deeply contradictory but firmly rooted in our nature.

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