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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#241

Post by eurekin »

buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

Yeah, there's one neat hack about the police.

Turns out a lot of them like a good party too.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#242

Post by Mashimo »

bigstrat2003 wrote: post #176
phito wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Maybe it's a cultural thing but it sounds like hell on earth to me. I'd be the one complaining and probably will not show up to the next party ...

I think a lot of stuff is cultural. For me, I detest music at social gatherings. I'm there to chat with people, not to listen to music. Music, for me, can only be neutral at best (and more often it detracts fun), not a value add. My wife, on the other hand, considers an event "like a funeral" if there isn't music playing. Just different cultures. Sadly, it means stuff hosted at my house doesn't ever align with my pre…

I like to dance, I often invite DJs to my parties. But when no one ones to dance I turn to music down. Can't force them.

But I think it's a personal preference, not culture. Is there a culture where they don't listen to music at all?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#243

Post by brazukadev »

Mashimo wrote: post #242
bigstrat2003 wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think a lot of stuff is cultural. For me, I detest music at social gatherings. I'm there to chat with people, not to listen to music. Music, for me, can only be neutral at best (and more often it detracts fun), not a value add. My wife, on the other hand, considers an event "like a funeral" if there isn't music playing. Just different cultures. Sadly, it means stuff hosted at my house doesn't ever align with my pre…

I like to dance, I often invite DJs to my parties. But when no one ones to dance I turn to music down. Can't force them. But I think it's a personal preference, not culture. Is there a culture where they don't listen to music at all?

> Is there a culture where they don't listen to music at all?

I don't know if there's one that dislikes music but Brazilians definitely like it more than other cultures, music is everywhere here, sometimes a bit too loud

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#244

Post by NaOH »

kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

>1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party.

Better, I've found, for compelling people to interact with others they may not know, is to assign seats. This enables separating couples or others with a preexisting connection. The act of eating offers the benefits of a subject to discuss (if needed) and makes it so it's acceptable to periodically look away from the conversation partner. Just note that depending on the size/shape of the dinner table, it may be necessary to think about who people will be seated adjacent to and seated across from.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#245

Post by lukan »

"Prioritize your ease of being over any other consideration: parties are like babies, if you’re stressed while holding them they’ll get stressed too"

Depends. I stopped throwing big parties, after people enjoyed them too much and I too little, especially the cleanup part.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#246

Post by fragmede »

varenc wrote: post #99
fragmede wrote: post #50

I'll probably get uninvited from the party for pointing this out, but Partiful is free for users because they are datamining the shit out of us. If Palantir gives any here the creeps, just fyi, Partiful was founded by several former Palantir employees, including CEO Shreya Murthy and CTO Joy Tao.

Besides the founders being ex-Palantir (left in 2018), is there much evidence for this? Their platform doesn't feel particularly data hungry to me at all.

Absolutely none! This is all based on FUD. But! Does knowing that an organization that's building out a social graph for as much of the developed world as they can has ties to Palantir, which has ties to governments, leave you with a warm fuzzy "I wanna give them my data!" feeling, or something else?

As far as it not feeling particularly data-mine-y: You give them your name and your phone number. Unless you're doing a lot of extra work to hide it, with data brokers and public data breaches, that's enough to get the rest of your info these days, your address, your job, you bank accounts, your family. You're giving them a list of friends, that's what they're building the site in order to ask for!

If you're findable via http://FastPeopleSearch.com, why would Partiful need to ask you for that information?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#247

Post by Einenlum »

Maybe it's because I'm French and the author is American (I guess?), but this post made me anxious.

Putting so many rules and so much science on something that should be fun and spontaneous feels so wrong to me.

Maybe a cultural thing. But I would never go to a party hosted by someone who thinks in statistical terms and uses a dedicated app to invite guests.

I admit there are a few interesting tips though. Especially the one about splitting food and drinks across the room.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#248

Post by Mashimo »

sbuccini wrote: post #8

22) Turn the AC wayyyyyyy down when the party starts 23) Buy frozen finger food and put into oven in staggered batches. When a batch is ready, immediately transfer to serving tray and walk through party offering people food. Great task to delegate to that one attendee who doesn't know anyone! 24) Polaroids/Disposable cameras are cheap and seem to be universally adored. Get a few and scatter them throughout the party.…

> Polaroids/Disposable cameras are cheap and seem to be universally adored.

I do this on my parties! Also sometimes people ask me to bring my gear to their parties.

The guests can either keep the photo and take home some memories or gift it to the host.

My more advanced version is that I take photos with my "good" mirrorless camera, transfer the photos to my phone, and then send them to the polaroid (Instax mini) for print. Too much work as a host, but as a gift when I'm a guest I might do it :)

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#249

Post by Mashimo »

ryukoposting wrote: post #132

Call me bad at parties, but a dedicated app for inviting people to the party is too much fanfare for my taste. If everyone waits around to see if their friends are going, nobody will RSVP because they're all waiting on each other to RSVP. We're all friends here. A good party fosters serendipity. Granted, I'm the same person who accepts any invitation to any concert, and intentionally doesn't listen to the band ahead…

Where I'm from it's quite common to use Facebook events, and people can see who else is coming. People who don't use facebook I invite "normally" via message.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#250

Post by anon35 »

watwut wrote: post #198
Aurornis wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures. Even within a big city you’ll find social circles with different ideas of what partying is like. I have friend groups that have completely different ideas of what gatherings are and I adapt depending on the group. There is not a singular American party style. > In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. That’s a…

Americans tend to think about themselves as informal/loose, but they evolved to be very formal and structural, in reality. Tend to like a lot of formal rules about everything. If you look at Latin American movies, they themselves are different then American movies and show different culture. They are not the exact copy of their cultures of original, but they certainly show quite different social behavior and values.

> Tend to like a lot of formal rules about everything.

I would amend to: what Americans don't like to accept are what they see as preventable mistakes. The least American sentiment of all is "shit happens". Americans sometimes say that, but they don't mean it. What they really mean: "this shit shouldn't be allowed to happen". Hence the rules, and (in the extreme) the litigiousness.

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