It sounds like these issues are relatively fixable. It's a classic victim of the Unity engine's tech debt though. I use Unity myself and they desperately need to decide on how they want people to make video games in their engine. They can't have three rendering pipelines and two ways of adding game logic that have a complicated matrix of interactions and missing features. And not great documentation and a bad bug rep…
It's honestly a bit insane. Just the other night I wanted to know what it'd take to do some AR development for the Quest 3 using Unity. 10 minutes in I was straight up confused. There's AR Foundation, AR Core, AR Kit, and I think at least one other thing. I have no idea the difference between those, if they're even wholly separate. That's on top of using either the OpenXR or Unity plugin for the actual headset.
Open XR is also an an attempt to make a cross platform layer for vendor specific APIs. Again not Unity's fault. The Unity plugin system is a common interface for all XR devices.
I'd generally support your sentiment but in this case you're picking on things where Unity had mostly got it right.