Shit, that's what I did. I highly recommend it to anyone who'll listen.
Quitting the rat race
241–250 of 434 posts
Re: Quitting the rat race
#242Earlier quoted context omitted.
Bravely coming out against... rape victims?
> Bravely coming out against... rape victims? your sarcasm is completely misplaced, 1) coming out against rape victims would actually be quite brave, you'd get downvoted to hell, but 2) I didn't do that. "Rape victims" who have children (women) don't pay child support, men do. OP is against all child support, in which he's wrong, but with regard to rape, a child born from a rape is entitled to child support from whic…
> When Male Rape Victims Are Accountable for Child Support
> When Shane Seyer was 12, he was sexually exploited by his 16-year-old babysitter Colleen Hermesmann. She became pregnant with Seyer’s child in 1989 and was charged with statutory rape shortly afterward. Instead of being convicted of rape, Hermesmann was declared a juvenile offender under the non-sexual offense of “contributing to child misconduct.” Seyer was subsequently court-ordered to pay child support.
> In 1993, at the age of 15, Seyer appealed this decision to the Kansas Supreme Court, arguing he should not be liable for these payments. He maintained that his babysitter (Hermesmann) took advantage of him sexually when he was too young to give consent.
> The Kansas Supreme Court ruled against him. The judgment stated that because Seyer initially consented to the sexual encounters and never told his parents what was happening, he was responsible for supporting the child.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma...
Re: Quitting the rat race
#243Sean, you should consider reading Be Here Now by Ram Dass
Re: Quitting the rat race
#244Kudos! May I suggest ikiagi, the overlap between what you are good at (vocation), what you love (passion), what makes adequate money (profession), and what the world needs (mission). See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai . The Japanese call it "the reason for getting out of bed in the morning." Best of luck with your continued search for balance in life.
Ikigai as how some western authors try to portray and promote it isn't really a thing in Japanese culture according to the economist.
https://www.economist.com/asia/2022/10/27/what-japan-makes-o...
Re: Quitting the rat race
#245It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…
Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…
To put it in another way, if we are trying to paint a canvas white, there is always a more whiter color that we haven't yet achieved. It will continue till we realise there is no perfect white or dark. Just shades of it.
Re: Quitting the rat race
#246Earlier quoted context omitted.
The time horizon is long, very long. I may make the most I ever have, but it’s a paltry sum compared to most HNers. One way or another I will leave, it remains to be seen what that will actually mean. For now all I can do is keep putting money away and praying I get lucky.
I have gotten lucky in a small but not insubstantial way, a couple of times. I still make less than most HNers, but it’s decent for where I am. I don’t know what the exit plan is. It never seems like you have enough. I’ve even looked at minimum retirement savings needed and I should be good for my current lifestyle, but I don’t feel like the numbers are right or I keep coming up with excuses. There is a lot of anxiet…
One small screw-up and it can be all over.
I know it first hand. I got completely burnt out, ended up drinking too much, and lost everything.
At least with this career there is a chance to start over, depending on age and compensation.
But one small slip-up, whether it be a serious medical problem (especially in the US) or otherwise, and the "numbers" can be thrown out the window.
Fingers crossed.
Re: Quitting the rat race
#247Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US) Where else in the world people dont spens most of their lives at work?
In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary). In some cases, you must be a parent to be eligible for this.. but yeah, in places like New Zealand and The Netherlands, if you don't want to work 5 days a week, you don't have to.
> In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary)
I work for a large swedish company in USA. None of my coworkers in sweden work less than 40 hrs, like not even one.
So is having that choice really relevant and does it really make it different than USA.
Re: Quitting the rat race
#248"The ultimate capitalist luxury - the illusion that I was not participating in capitalism."
-Kirsten Hacker
Re: Quitting the rat race
#249I am in my mid 20s. I have about $200k saved and I think about quitting everyday, even though it would probably be disastrous for my career. I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. Just a naive example: Buy a cheap house ($250k) and live off of…
My family has no willingness to live in a LCOL location, or I probably would do that!
But I’ll note that $40k/year isn’t nearly enough to live on for people in their 50s unless you’re unusually healthy or someone is subsidizing your healthcare. Healthcare gets much, much more expensive with age.
My employer spends $20k towards my family’s overall healthcare consumption, and we still spend $10k out of pocket.
Regarding taking a break: what have you got to lose?
No programmer I know whose resume says “I took a year or two off to travel the world” has had any trouble getting a new job when they come back. Hiring managers will be jealous, perhaps, but not upset by your choices.
Re: Quitting the rat race
#250I am in my mid 20s. I have about $200k saved and I think about quitting everyday, even though it would probably be disastrous for my career. I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. Just a naive example: Buy a cheap house ($250k) and live off of…
It's not going to be disastrous for your career. It will have an impact, but one you can recover from -- if you're lucky, even fully recover. I quit at 33, didn't work for 3 years, had the best time of my life. Then I got a fun, flexible job that paid below market, but more than paid the bills, and didn't take up all my time and still allowed me to do what I wanted with a decent-sized chunk of every day. After a coup…
Virtually same life!
Quit around 30, didn't work for a full year.
Then worked 20h/week for about 2y while I invested the rest of my productive time into hobbies or pet ideas.
Then I went back to similar job different company. Took me about 2y to get career back to where I left it, but remote and live somewhere I've always dreamed of.