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Four thousand weeks

leebyron.com

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Re: Four thousand weeks

#241

Post by eyelidlessness »

wnolens wrote: post #210
quickthrower2 wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t see how they replace human relationships though. I have 2 dogs. 2 kids too! But yeah dogs are nice to have around. Sometimes annoying (barking, toilet incidents, training issues and so on)

Those dogs aren't your reason your living though. Didn't say "all people who have dogs.."

Here if this helps: not the reason I’m holding on to being alive, the most important purpose I serve in the life I’m living. I don’t experience that with human children, but I do experience it with my pup. I care for her a great deal and she’s my most important responsibility. I really think it’s weird that this is such a foreign concept or needs this much explanation to anyone.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#242

Post by CMCDragonkai »

lakeshastina wrote: post #60

There are a few ways people take such a message - yes, life is precious, be conscious of what we invest our time in. This part makes sense. Yet, it is worth asking, what makes for a meaning life? What makes the 4000 weeks worth it? For some, they chase wealth, power, career success, get one's name recognized, etc - these are milestones to be achieved. Things to accomplish. Others will say, such accomplishments are no…

Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water.

After I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#243

Post by dnissley »

localghost3000 wrote: post #223
nine_k wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say sometimes people may need to feel bad about themselves in order to improve. And this feeling may be triggered unintentionally, too; there's no way around it sometimes. Feeling the pain sucks though.

We disagree. Being ready to make a change and being kind to yourself are not mutually exclusive ideas.

Are you implying that feeling bad = being unkind to yourself?

Re: Four thousand weeks

#244

Post by eyelidlessness »

komali2 wrote: post #164
infamousclyde wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why did you find the parent comment sad? I'm not sure I understand your sentiment.

I found it sad too, because, and I say this as a dog lover who's had a great many of them (and a shitload other pets too), the line was "waking up every day putting my pup first is the best thing I’ve ever lived for." I don't think it's bad to put a puppy first, where the indictment of society seems to stand for me is that this is "the best thing" they've ever lived for. I'm really really happy for the OP because it'…

> But there's plenty of people for whom human interaction is basically torture

On HN, sometimes doubly so. I’ve several times deleted similar comments anticipating they’d be misunderstood. But “indictment on society” and reinforcing that as an illness of society is beyond the cruelty I’d imagined people here would come up with.

> We could be completely missing the mark with the OP, basically projecting our frustration with modern society on a very short paragraph from a stranger.

Maybe? You think? Random people telling me there’s something wrong with the whole society around me because I love my dog?

Re: Four thousand weeks

#245

Post by komali2 »

eyelidlessness wrote: post #244
komali2 wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I found it sad too, because, and I say this as a dog lover who's had a great many of them (and a shitload other pets too), the line was "waking up every day putting my pup first is the best thing I’ve ever lived for." I don't think it's bad to put a puppy first, where the indictment of society seems to stand for me is that this is "the best thing" they've ever lived for. I'm really really happy for the OP because it'…

> But there's plenty of people for whom human interaction is basically torture On HN, sometimes doubly so. I’ve several times deleted similar comments anticipating they’d be misunderstood. But “indictment on society” and reinforcing that as an illness of society is beyond the cruelty I’d imagined people here would come up with. > We could be completely missing the mark with the OP, basically projecting our frustratio…

/shrug there are many things wrong with society, I stand by that statement strongly.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#246

Post by darekkay »

sk1pper wrote: post #239
darekkay wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm not quite sure what to do about this. I suggest you inform yourself about (adult) ADHD. Your behavior matches mine exactly. It was only after I learned about ADHD when everything finally made sense.

My fiancee has ADHD and sends me memes and videos and such about it. And I'm always like, these videos are dumb, doesn't everyone do those things? I've been wondering about this for a while, but I've tended to write it off due to me having pretty different symptoms/behaviors from her - but I guess it can manifest in different ways. What intervention(s) have you found the most helpful? Or are there any resources you c…

> these videos are dumb, doesn't everyone do those things?

Have any person go through the adult/inattentive-type ADHD symptoms [1]. Everyone will see themselves nodding. It's difficult for people to understand the difference if they are not affected. There's a difference between common headaches and migraine, or between bad mood and depression. It's about the intensity and the frequency (broadly speaking). This doesn't mean that everyone who procrastinates has ADHD. It's really hard to explain the state of complete mental unability to perform a task that I don't like to do vs. "being lazy". When I first described my symptoms to my wife, she was also like "everyone has those symptoms from time to time". Only after reading a chapter from a book about adult ADHD she understood the difference. Unfortunately, the book is in German. What I can recommend is Dr Russel's ADHD presentation [2] and Roman Kogan's ADHD Wiki [3].

> What intervention(s) have you found the most helpful?

Well before learning about ADHD, I have developed many coping mechanisms. The use of todo lists, calendars and alarm clocks has probably made the biggest difference. As you have mentioned the "chase for novelty", I can only imagine how big your bookmark list has become. I've coped with this one by having a single "inbox" bookmark folder and clearing it frequently. Anything I want to keep for a longer time ends up in one of my tools (Static Marks [4] - a tool I've made for long-term bookmarks, OneNote for notes, my blog drafts for research material, Todoist for todos etc.).

However, no coping mechanisms will solve the constant inner restlessness. I've made several excuses for not getting myself an official diagnosis, but I want to do that soon™.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_attention_deficit_hypera...

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzhbAK1pdPM&list=PLzBixSjmbc...

[3] https://romankogan.net/adhd/

[4] https://darekkay.com/static-marks/

Re: Four thousand weeks

#247

Post by Hayarotle »

loveparade wrote: post #144
lakeshastina wrote: post #60

There are a few ways people take such a message - yes, life is precious, be conscious of what we invest our time in. This part makes sense. Yet, it is worth asking, what makes for a meaning life? What makes the 4000 weeks worth it? For some, they chase wealth, power, career success, get one's name recognized, etc - these are milestones to be achieved. Things to accomplish. Others will say, such accomplishments are no…

> So what's my point? The point is, whatever pursuits we undertake with the belief out there that something that I accomplish, accumulate or experience will bring me happiness and fulfillment is a futile endeavor. I recently came across a term for this. Telic vs. atelic activities [0]. Telic activities are things with some terminal state, e.g. a typical goal-oriented project, or something like the act of getting marr…

> I recently came across a term for this. Telic vs. atelic activities [0]. Telic activities are things with some terminal state, e.g. a typical goal-oriented project, or something like the act of getting married.

> Atelic activities are those activities where the continuous process is the goal. Certain types of learning, being a good parent, and so on.

Reading the article, I understand this differently. Telic activities are indeed activities that have a terminal goal. However, the idea of a continuous process being the goal seems orthogonal to the telic/atelic distinction. You can have an activity that is both enjoyable and has a final goal: one can play a video-game both because they want to beat it and because they enjoy playing it. An activity being telic doesn't mean it's not enjoyable by itself. You can also have atelic activities that don't have any goals.

There's no reason, a priori, that making an activity telic should take away from the day-to-day enjoyment. Having a final goal shouldn't stop people from enjoying the journey. It does change the game (from an open-ended sandbox to a more linear game), but it doesn't make it unenjoyable per se. What really takes out the enjoyment of the process is not the introduction of the goal, but rather an excessive optimization toward a goal at the expense of the process.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#248

Post by localghost3000 »

dnissley wrote: post #243
localghost3000 wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We disagree. Being ready to make a change and being kind to yourself are not mutually exclusive ideas.

Are you implying that feeling bad = being unkind to yourself?

I don’t anything is as binary as that no. I do think that there’s a difference between being ready for a change and beating yourself up about your shortcomings.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#249

Post by eyelidlessness »

komali2 wrote: post #245
eyelidlessness wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But there's plenty of people for whom human interaction is basically torture On HN, sometimes doubly so. I’ve several times deleted similar comments anticipating they’d be misunderstood. But “indictment on society” and reinforcing that as an illness of society is beyond the cruelty I’d imagined people here would come up with. > We could be completely missing the mark with the OP, basically projecting our frustratio…

/shrug there are many things wrong with society, I stand by that statement strongly.

You catalogued a bunch of big, wrong, assumptions about my life and circumstances, and about my disposition towards them. You went on to acknowledge that it’s possible you’re projecting. Which would be reasonable, even kind and a welcome amount of self-awareness relative to some others’ reactions, except…

I confirmed that yes, you’d been projecting, and yes your assumptions were wrong. And your reaction to that is to double down, strongly. So we’re back at my individual relationship, as one human, with my one pup, has anything at all to do with society, and that my affection is somehow an indictment thereof.

Look, I regret sharing that affection here and its reaction has lived rent free in my head for more time than I’d prefer to admit. But I’m also not going to pretend that total strangers translating I love my pup to anything about society is anything less than totally absurd, particularly anything negative.

And look, I’m prone to missing social cues, so when I saw the first reply I sincerely wondered if there was something implicit in my comment or these reactions that wasn’t connecting for me. But having read your and other explanations, I don’t think it’s me.

Anyway, hell is other people so I’m going to try my best to put this discussion out of mind, confident that my relationship with my pup and with my friends and family who don’t shrug when told they’re being cruel is much healthier than … whatever the hell this has been.

Re: Four thousand weeks

#250

Post by komali2 »

eyelidlessness wrote: post #249
komali2 wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

/shrug there are many things wrong with society, I stand by that statement strongly.

You catalogued a bunch of big, wrong, assumptions about my life and circumstances, and about my disposition towards them. You went on to acknowledge that it’s possible you’re projecting. Which would be reasonable, even kind and a welcome amount of self-awareness relative to some others’ reactions, except… I confirmed that yes, you’d been projecting, and yes your assumptions were wrong. And your reaction to that is to…

I'm sorry, I didn't intend cruelty towards you.
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