First of all dude, not to be an ageist, but you are 20. You are going to have so many jobs in your life, you're JUST getting started. In 10 years when you are doing something entirely different you are going to be proud of how crazy you were. Take it in stride, you'll find work, keep looking. In the mean time be a bartender or something. That is what I'd do if I couldn't find any development work.
I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
241–250 of 350 posts
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#242Here's something I wish I knew when I was 20.
Life is a dance. Sometimes we lead. Sometimes life leads.
When I was a kid, I thought either you were in charge or you were a putz. After all, all of my heroes were in complete charge of their life. Isn't that the goal? Don't people always say "You're either telling your own story or helping somebody else tell theirs?"
But then as I got older I realized that the important thing in this dance is to figure out whether you are supposed to be listening and adapting or leading. Out of work and need money? You should be listening. Where are the jobs? How do I need to adapt to be able to eat? Have some free time in the evenings? Then you should be leading. What can I do right now to help my own prospects in five years' time?
A lot of times we just give up and take what we get. We spend our free time plugged into a video game or the web. That's wrong. But it's just as wrong to think that you should be in charge all of the time, working hard, living large, and controlling your own destiny. That's another kind of giving up -- picturing some fantasy life that will never exist and then beating ourselves up because we don't live there.
It ain't that easy. The dream is important. It's all there is. But you gotta know how to dream. There is a difference between dreaming and fantasy.
So you got kicked in the teeth. Welcome to the big leagues, kid! Get good enough at getting kicked in the teeth and you might end up being a decent person one day.
Having said that, you also might be depressed. If so, you should find somebody to talk to. Thinking of killing yourself is not very healthy. The thing isn't that life doesn't suck. It's that life sucks and we learn to live in it and love it anyway. Sometimes that can be tough to do. Talking about it helps. A lot.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#243Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, just no. Having a sympathetic person listen and provide good advice can be extremely valuable. And these things do not require anything but the attention of someone who cares, who maybe has gone through the same thing. These people are not few and far between, and they are not random. Also, therapists cannot prescribe drugs. No one with the ability to write a prescription calls themselves a therapist. And I serio…
Sorry about the wrong term, though I think it was clear from context. s/paid therapist/psychiatrist practicing psychotherapy/. If you don't believe the medical industry suffers from the same problems as the political industry, with "sales reps" taking on the roles of "lobbyists", you should do some googling. Here's a nice database: http://projects.propublica.org/docdollars/
There's a lot of difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist. There's even more difference between getting paid on commission and being wooed by lobbyists. Having doctors influenced by lobbyists is almost certainly a negative overall, but it's nowhere close to having doctors literally paid on commission for writing prescriptions.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#244Dude, it will take you a year to three years before you get things back in order. Half a year is not nearly enough time.
I've been twenty too, some time ago. Don't worry, you've got a lot of life ahead of you. You can do anything.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#245Dude, it will take you a year to three years before you get things back in order. Half a year is not nearly enough time.
I've been twenty too, some time ago. Don't worry, you've got a lot of life ahead of you. You can do anything.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#246Hi Dont give up. It always leads to something good. I'm mulling on a few concepts to work on. I'm not rich, if my http://justdazzle.me idea picks up then maybe. Or the card game i invented (fucku) picks up http://acardgamewithattitude.com Let me know hmb143 at gmail If you want to team up then let me know we can chat to see if wavelengths match. Then we can work on an idea.
I don't understand how you think justdazzle.me will make you rich, or even make you money at all. It's just you playing the lottery and lowering your expected outcome — and the expected outcome for playing the lottery is already negative.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#247This happens to a lot of people, especially 20-year-olds. You just feel worse about it because your job was "high paying", which is really just a quirk of circumstance and totally meaningless. If you really wanted a soulless but high-paying job you hate, you'd be at Yale preparing for a career in finance. It sounds like you don't really know what you want to do with your life right now. Nobody really does at 20. So I…
Yeah, actually that is true. I've been taking community college classes for about three years or so. Dropped out of HS in 10th grade, started community college instead of 11th grade. Taking classes helped define what I like. I thought I wanted to be a chemist, but after taking Chem 161 I realized I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT CHEMISTRY. I thought I wanted to major in math but I barely passed Calculus III and the class was…
"....apparently I'm destined to slave away at C++ legacy code all my life. Which is really what depresses me."
Good lord, man. Do you realize how in-demand great designers who actually know how to code/talk to coders?
Even if you don't want to do web app design, plenty of people survive working in art galleries/museums or as pure commercial graphic designers/illustrators.
Lastly, you're not destined for a damn thing at the age of 20 (or any other age). I graduated with a psychology degree and worked min-wage/retail for 3 years in Anchorage, Alaska. I then worked the graveyard shift at a residential treatment facility. I've since built and sold 3 startups (one a venture-backed YC company). My dad was driving a cab at 35 and retired an SVP of Sun Microsystems (he spent lots of time with Steve Jobs, Ross Perot, and Ron Conway in his career).
If you talk to people in their 30s and 40s about what they were doing when they were 20, I think you'll find that the majority of them have reinvented themselves a few times. Figure out what you want to do and take the first step in that direction. Then take the next. You'll get there!
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#248I was feeling really sad for you until I read this: What doesn't make it any easier is that I'm 20 Relax. Get a job at the supermarket, or anything that will pay the bills for now. Figure out your main gig slowly on the side. If you share more about your freelancing work, people here might be able to help you out.
I have to disagree. The fact that he's 20 does not lessen his depression. Depression comes when your status in life is drastically lowered. It comes from moving down the pecking order. It's relative. In other words, if all you've ever had is a job working as a cashier in a supermarket, you may not feel as depressed as if you had a job as an IT manager and got demoted to desktop support--or got laid off. He did have a…
Depression comes when your status in life is drastically lowered.
I thought that depression was the result of a chemical imbalance. It might be worthwhile to seek the help of a healthcare professional to help treat it before it gets any worse.
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#249Please listen to the famous Stanford Commencement Speech by Steve Jobs. It has helped me greatly in situations I feel depressed about life. I still listen to it again and again! worth every second!
Here's the youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA
Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.
#250Earlier quoted context omitted.
A risk taker doesn't sit around feeling sorry for himself. Specially at 20 years old! Not saying it to bring OP down but get a job, any job. Get out of that house.
> A risk taker doesn't sit around feeling sorry for himself. > Specially at 20 years old! I'm not sure if this is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but basically everyone has the emotional capacity for major depressive episodes. It's healthy.
Not sure about "healthy", but "totally normal" or "completely acceptable" instead fit. Also, responds really well to self-guided treatment like cognitive behaviour therapy.