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Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

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Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#241

Post by 29athrowaway »

abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

My philosophy is to try to make an effort to make the best decisions you can make given what's available to you: your values, information and resources. When you live your life trying your best, you will be able to tell your future self that you did the best you could given each situation, and have no regrets.

Why? because even if your decision was mistaken, it was the best decision you could have made at that time.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#242

Post by KrishnaShripad »

abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

May all good things come your way!

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#243

Post by thoms_a »

brncsk wrote: post #136

This year, after a tumultuous breakup (that quite literally plunged me into my deepest crisis to day), I’m practicing being alone. Mostly because what lead to said breakup in the first place, was me being a relationship-addict, which at this point in my self-awareness journey I understand to be a transgenerational issue. Thus being with family does not help at all (even though I did my fair share of being with them y…

What I've found is that building a relationship is like building an orbital spacecraft: there are an infinite number of ways to do this which leads to failure, but very few which leads to success.

Our extant societal memeplex makes it seem like relationships are the default setting, and available to the majority with just a bit of effort. However, this could not be further from the truth in my experience. Very few relationships are successful, and most are in some stage of slow motion RUD. Often, the fallout from a failed relationship is worse than not having been in one in the first place.

There are solutions to this, but they will seem anachronistic to the HN crowd. Turns out that the concept of a marriage is very related to Christmas: it is a religious construct, and as such, cannot be removed from that context. Attempts to do so will more often than not result in immense suffering for all involved.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#244

Post by hmate9 »

abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

Merry Christmas to you fellow HN stranger <3

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#245

Post by cblconfederate »

DeusExMachina wrote: post #98
deepersprout wrote: post #42

I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that. Posts like these make me think this even more. I am alone, and I like it. I can play Warzone and code some stuff I wanted to finish. I can do things I like. I know this may sound stupid, but if you feel alone, don't. There is no reason to. It's just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it. And we don't need "…

You might think you are helping people, but you are not. You can't argue against solitude. If people feel alone, it's because they would like to be around others, but can't. Telling them not to feel that way "just because" is useless, and telling them they should feel like you do because you decided it's better is just condescending.

> If people feel alone, it's because they would like to be around others, but can't.

Partly. People may genuinely want to be alone, but the culture spewed by the media says that everyone is social and happy and warm and fuzzy this time of the year, like, they must be, to the point where it's wrong not to be. Hollywood-style culture has done many numbers on society, this is one of them.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#246

Post by thoms_a »

maverick74 wrote: post #228
iammjm wrote: post #75

This year I decided to finally stop participating in other people's illusions. I was raised Catholic but stopped believing about 15 years ago. Still, each year I went through the motions. This year I thought: I don't believe, I don't care, so why bother? This feels quite liberating and I'm proud of myself

What made you stop believing? Any special event that you would like to share? I believe that it all comes down to "Love". That's the key. All other "rules" are mostly human-made. Your relationship with God is just that: a relationship between you and God. And that's YOUR business and God's! I too was raised a Catholic, but there are many places where priests are not as good as they should be. I think I'm lucky on tha…

The "bunch of rules" are guidelines laid out by the supposed creator of reality, who loves you and wishes for you to live in congruence with your true nature.

You can ignore the guidelines, but that will come at a cost (mostly to yourself). That is how I understand Catholic virtues. The desire to rebel against this is the same instinct every child has when their parent tells them to brush their teeth and not binge-eat Halloween candy.

But to each his own, rebellion is a compelling source of identity for the young. Not so much later in life.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#248

Post by curious_cat_163 »

sAbakumoff wrote: post #30

XMass is just an artificially distinctive day designed to sell more stuff to people. Why do guys even care about being or not being alone?

This is people being people. Choosing to be merry on a day that they somehow found a way to assign a meaning to. You could argue that this is not a choice but for many it is.

One could choose another day, it just happens to be this day. :)

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#249

Post by trevorishere »

_huayra_ wrote: post #196
trevorishere wrote: post #114

This Christmas is significantly different for me. Normally it would be filled with friends and family, but not this year. I succeeded in hiking >10 miles yesterday and today, legs willing, I'll be at least spending part of the day in the PacNW forests to keep the depression at bay. JWST was my Christmas present. I'm happy to see we've got final separation and the last view of the telescope. If anything, it's the best…

I hope you manage to get back home and hunker down before this cold snap moves in! If you're in the Redmond / Seattle area, it's gonna be one of those "everyone forgets how to drive" things today and tomorrow (and maybe further!) due to the snowfall.

My hikes are up at Moss Lake to the end of the allowable NE North Fork Road as well as Marckworth State Forest. It’ll likely snow up here given our elevation but cold doesn’t bother me too much.
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