Sure, I agree with you that even in a low cost, rural part of Italy (or the US) nobody is living like a tv rich guy on 25k-35k (probably what it would be safe to count on if you're young when you stop working). You're not flying private jets (or first class), not consuming the most expensive things, and you don't have an army of personal servants.
But... the real, foundational difference between being rich and not is not any particular consumption choice but the way one relates to wage labour. The difference in the daily, weekly, and annual rhythms of my life and that of someone making 2-3x as much but with a similar ratio of housing costs to income, savings, etc. are broadly the same. Similarly, someone making half what I do, probably also with a house they're ok with in a ok-ish area which is paid for with a mortgage, has basically the same life I do. Certainly within the broad spectrum of global and historical experience our lives are almost identical and it takes people who are highly attuned to differences in consumption markers (which all humans are within their own societies) to spot them.
The very poor and the very rich have different rhythms of life that put them outside of this mainstream but 75% of the population lives broadly similar lives.
We all get up at some point in the morning five-ish days a week, timed to meet a regular or externally constrained schedule (even freelancers have to be available within certain hours). We have clients or bosses who we have to please in some way or another. Some of us have very good relationships with these people, maybe we run our own businesses and have substantial independence from clients or shareholders. Some of us on the end have a rigid relationship with a boss who sets an hourly schedule.
We go on a thing called a "holiday" (or a "vacation" which is what I believe Americans call the thing they're not allowed to take). If we are lucky, this is to a warm/culturally interesting/snowy place and we do it two or three times a year. If we are less lucky we go on one a year.
Our continued ability to live in our homes and eat is dependent on this way of living.
The little labels on our possessions and how big they are vary, but imagine explaining the real differences to someone from 1,000 year ago. "This man wears wool clothes and goes to a place where he makes phone calls and does things on a glowing screen. This other man wears other similar looking clothes and he goes to a place where he makes phone calls and does other things on a glowing screen. Banker or call centre worker? The one that is high status can expect their boss to require them to work at a moment's notice in the middle of the night."
Compare that to someone who has a potentially substantially lower level of consumption and no longer engages in wage labour for their sustenance needs. Whether they spend their day reading, staring at the clouds, swimming, or flying their private plane is less important than the difference between them and someone who has to work.