Why Russians do not smile (2002) • Hacker News Board

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#241

Post by sunshineforever » Sat, May 29, 2021, 4:59 AM UTC

danbmil99 wrote: post #177

There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them. Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod…

My man. I am from Connecticut, moved to Oregon, and this phenomenon is breaking my heart... It makes me want to wear a hijab or something.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#242

Post by sunshineforever » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:02 AM UTC

hellbannedguy wrote: post #210

danbmil99 wrote: post #177

There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them. Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod…

Yea, I noticed east/west coast friendships are different too. Friendships are a bit stronger on the east coast. At least from my perspective in California.

On the east coast its way less 'appropriate' to interact with strangers so friends are a more limited set, necessarily brought together by more than mere chance. The cultural differences are so fascinating.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#243

Post by zvrba » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:03 AM UTC

daxfohl wrote: post #178

Another thing I've noticed uniquely with some Russian colleagues, and I've never quite known the meaning of, but I assume is Russian cultural attribute, is silence. A few times I've e.g. been explaining something to a Russian colleague, I'll go on and on, and when I'm done ... nothing. This always gets me anxious. What does it mean? Does the person think it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard? Did the person not unde…

How about saying something like "That was all, what do you think?". (I'm eastern-european as well :p)

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#244

Post by sunshineforever » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:05 AM UTC

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #102

firebaze wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

In America, if your aunt just died, I would say "really bad, but thanks for asking". They asked superficially; I answered superficially but honestly. I left an open door for them to ask more if they want to. If they don't, well, it was superficial conversation, and I won't be surprised or disappointed, and I hope I didn't put them on the spot too much.

I don't want to leave that door open.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#245

Post by petre » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:06 AM UTC

matheusmoreira wrote: post #236

3pt14159 wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Russians are so extreme. Even though my favourite professors at Waterloo in Canada were Russian, it wasn't until I learned some basic Russian that I finally got over the typical view of them drilled into people by Hollywood. Your run of the mill Russian is honest about their feelings. Not honest about the facts, no, they can cheat on an insurance filing just fine. But that coldness that so many of them seem to have i…

I once met a russian person online who had learned portuguese, my native language. I was extremely impressed. To this day I've never seen anyone else learn portuguese as a second language.

Portugese is a really nice sounding language. I love it. It's on top of my "to learn" list. Spanish on the other hand no, though I like better how it's spoken in the Americas.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#246

Post by jcrites » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:11 AM UTC

justusthane wrote: post #220

colanderman wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect in "American", "how are you" is often a request for actionable information. Your Russian friend took the question as an absolute, was confused why the doctor was asking a question with an obvious answer, and proceeded to give a reply which communicated no new information to the doctor. The doctor meanwhile was expecting an answer relative to the information he had, and hence took the negative reply as a sig…

> “good, but I have a billing issue" I think this gets exactly to it, but I don’t agree with the rest of your comment. In both the provided examples, the fact that there's a request for actionable information is already implicitly understood based on the situation. When a doctor comes into your room, you already know they're checking on your condition. The "How are you?" is just general greeting (to which, in casual…

I think the doctor was asking, relative to the situation that you're in, how are you? In other words, given that you're in this shitty situation, do you feel worse or better than you expect?

If he's still in a lot of pain then the doctor would expect the patient to say that. "The nurses are treating me well, the food is fine, but I'm still in a lot of pain. Is there anything you can do about that?"

The doctor was asking a question relative to the situation and the Russian interpreted as an absolute question.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#247

Post by ping_pong » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:19 AM UTC

Wow, what an interesting and insightful article! I've worked with many Russians and enjoyed working with them immensely, but I did notice they seemed very stern or serious as well. The difference in culture of smiling is very interesting, this is definitely something to understand going forward when I work with other Russians.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#248

Post by kmarc » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:20 AM UTC

IgorPartola wrote: post #226

I am Ukrainian. Came to the US when I was 14. I may never be cool like all the hard looking dudes in movies and whatnot but I smile all the time because either I find something funny in what I’m engaged in or if I don’t that I try to think of it as such. I have always been this way and I can’t imagine not doing it. Also, I have read a few comments in this discussion about how fake American smiles and “how are you?”s…

As a young Hungarian, I used to confuse the hell out of my American colleagues when I went to a "lengthy" (more than 10sec) explanation answering to "how are you?"s. It took my a while to realize why that was. Now it just entertains me how oblivious I was.

OTOH I wouldn't call these "fake"; It's common, it's certainly different than how I socialized, possibly it's greatly misunderstood by many. Along the same train of thought, other languages' greetings would also be fake... After all, how could I genuinely wish a random German stranger a "Guten Morgen" or what do I care if "你吃了吗?" (lit. "have you already eaten?")

Let's rather be grateful for these questions not having to be genuine. Chances are high that when you ask someone today how they are (in their health) or if they ate (because there's no food shortage), then they can simply reply with a positive answer.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#249

Post by graton » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:21 AM UTC

andyxor wrote: post #201

flemhans wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The typical reply in Russian to "How are you" is "normalno" (normal), which I always thought should appeal to computer geeks

"normalyok" and more informally "zayebis"

So for others "zayebis" = "fucking awesome".

A bit vulgar to use.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#250

Post by noisy_boy » Sat, May 29, 2021, 5:29 AM UTC

randcraw wrote: post #77

This the perfect opportunity to suggest a relevant book: "The Almost Nearly Perfect People: Behind the Myth of the Scandinavian Utopia" by Michael Booth. He's a Brit who married a Dane, relocated to Denmark, and was struck by the cultural differences between Scandinavian cultures and his own. So he wrote a book. In it, he observes that smiles and jokes and easy conversation are more common among Brits and Americans t…

I wonder why. Because the Nordic folks grew up around less people and those around really didn't chat much? They were passed and passing along the not-chatty culture? The weather sucks? Too much white affecting the mind in some manner? Atleast you have world-class social security?! :)