Female Founder Secrets: Fertility • Hacker News Board

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#241

Post by kbenson » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:29 PM UTC

throw8932894 wrote: post #219

> Startups take much longer than you’d think before they become successful. 90% of startups fail, they NEVER become successful. Gambling on some theoretical future success is just bad advice. Also egg freezing and late age pregnancy is VERY expensive and complicated. Author herself had three miscarriages. I would suggest something else: have children between 18-25, and start self funded company while working at home.…

> I would suggest something else: have children between 18-25

Let's not undersell how hard it is to have kids when just starting out in life, when you generally have less resources, which may mean less stable housing. Couch surfing or staying with good friends for a week or two because of financial hardship problems is doable when you're single or a couple, it's much harder to swing with children unless you have very good friends in a more stable place in life than you or family. Requiring there be family means mobility is limited, and limited mobility means limited career choices.

That's not to say it's not a good idea for some people given their circumstances, just that it's not obviously a better or easier path.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#242

Post by pc86 » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:29 PM UTC

antisthenes wrote: post #204

astan wrote: post #67

Your whole blog resonates deeply with me. All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Instead, we talk about how sexism is the biggest problem. Sure, sexism might be annoying, but in the west, it is hardly something that…

> All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Exactly this. Generous maternity leave and at least 0.25x paternity leave. I am not a woman, so I can't possibly begin to imagine how tough pregnancy is on a body. I also rea…

There's zero legitimate reason to gender parental leave either way. Not because "muh equality" or sexism or anything like that, but it should be "new kid == n weeks leave," whether you're the biological mother, father, adoptive parent, had a biological child via surrogate, whatever.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#243

Post by _ezkx » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> presented a false promise by progressives

I think this is a poor framing for the rest of your comment, which is essentially a feminist critique of patriarchy and capitalism, and how patriarchy/capitalism is a harmful structure to men as well. Progressives are totally on board with this.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#244

Post by Goronmon » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

theptip wrote: post #218

powerslacker wrote: post #37

I'm not so sure freezing eggs is sound advice. Lord Winston, who is professor of fertility studies at Imperial College London, warned that it was "a very unsuccessful technology" and said: "The number of eggs that actually result in a pregnancy after freezing is about 1%." He later clarified he was referring to live births. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-51463488#:~:text=Lord%20Wins... . “It’s not like I would disco…

I don't agree with this take. IVF live birth rates are something like 30% of implantations. e.g. see https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7139227/ . The article you're linking even says that Winston is using the wrong number, and spends most of its time explaining why he's wrong; > Lord Winston's 1% figure was referring to the proportion of all frozen eggs thawed for use in fertility treatment which result in…

The extraction process will gather something like 10 eggs (plus or minus a lot)...

Isn't 10 minus "a lot", close to or equal to 0? Or is there something I'm missing with this phrasing?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#245

Post by giantg2 » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

nyghtly wrote: post #110

What a horribly dystopic conclusion. You can't bio-hack your way out of the consequences of hustle culture. Every working adult should have sufficient personal time to support their family (or start one). The fertility industry is a symptom of a corrupt culture in which childbearing is punished.

I'll upvote, but I disagree with the connotations that come with using the word "punished".

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#246

Post by cronix » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

smoldesu wrote: post #14

And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline. Our nation-wide workaholism is making family life an increasingly distant fantasy. I've had this discussion with my S/O before, and we've always come to the same conclusion: it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working. That's a difficult place to be in, considering we're both quite passionate about our jobs. It makes me quite de…

There are 2 young married couples (mid 20's) in my immediate family who cannot get pregnant naturally, and they really want to and have been trying for multiple years. The issue is bigger than who is doing what job. Something external, likely environmental, is messing with our biology as it's happening all over the world, not just here.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/07/15/world-population-falling-fer...

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#247

Post by munk-a » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #216

u678u wrote: post #178

Its interesting I had a friend who got pregnant at University. I thought it would be ruinous to their career but maybe its a better solution. When she was 40 her child was already an adult and she could fully concentrate on working.

It depends what type of business you want to go into. If you're aiming for high finance/law/management/acting, it's improbable to get into without following the normal formula.

I disagree with all of those examples - most managers go into managing late in life. My partner, for example, is current a VP of Operations after diverting twenty years of their life to care for a son with special needs.

A whole lot of actors get into it later in life - but if you're talking about being a hollywood actor than yea - the chances of being a big movie star are vanishingly small no matter what you do.

A lot of really good lawyers go into the field after gaining experience in another specialty and there are some notable lawyers out there that didn't start practicing until well into their forties - it's a very different track than pre-law into a firm but it's quite doable.

On the topic of finance (or "high finance") unless you just generally mean "being rich" then I'd draw your eyes to the fact that the finance industry actually employs a disproportionately large number of women and boosts some of the best work/life balance you can find out there.

The normal formula is normal because it is the easiest to approach, but making shifts to your life later on in age is pretty cheap. You'd be surprised how little it costs you at 30 or 35 to start taking night classes[1] and transition to a new field - it's certainly not as easy as sticking with the same thing but it isn't particularly difficult.

1. If those are even needed, honestly formal education is a bit overvalued and having any formal education is generally transferable to other fields outside of highly specialized scientists - next time you're in the office ask around and see if one of your coworkers has a communications degree - they probably do.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#248

Post by MauranKilom » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

Aaargh20318 wrote: post #195

smoldesu wrote: post #14

And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline. Our nation-wide workaholism is making family life an increasingly distant fantasy. I've had this discussion with my S/O before, and we've always come to the same conclusion: it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working. That's a difficult place to be in, considering we're both quite passionate about our jobs. It makes me quite de…

> And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline We’re at 7.8 billion humans on this planet and rising. I don’t think we have to worry about the birth rate declining. If anything, we should do everything in our power to lower it as much as we can.

While that's fundamentally true, it's not like humanity would fare particularly well 50 years in the future if everyone stopped having children for 20 years right now.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#249

Post by TuringTest » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:30 PM UTC

mfer wrote: post #200

elliekelly wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is fr…

> Why ask these questions only as they relate to women and motherhood? Why haven't men being presented a false promise that value and purpose is derived from work? Being a father without a snazzy career is equally (if not more so) frowned upon by plenty of people these days. I don't think that stigma is healthy, either. Why do men have to emulate other men to be "valuable"? Why do men have to avoid emulating women to…

> Have you noticed that it's leaders focused on their businesses and capitalism that we turn to when we look for definition of value and purpose. Those folks who are looking for our productivity that feeds their wealth.

> Maybe we should look for our value and priorities somewhere other than these folks.

That may be a strange thing to say at the web forum of a company whose whole purpose is to channel young people towards that mentality and the capitalist perspective of value and purpose.

So please, say it louder.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#250

Post by bradleybuda » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:31 PM UTC

vecplane wrote: post #207

Wait, why is the advice to 'do something invasive, risky, and unnatural' when the actual advice should be 'have children when you're younger, not older.'

You shouldn't refrigerate your food. It's risky and unnatural. For the first 300,000 years of human history, people got along fine without refrigeration - why don't you just hunt and gather like you were intended to?

IVF, egg and embryo freezing, and related technologies are modern miracles that allow people to live better lives by increasing their fertility options.