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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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241–250 of 460 posts

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#241
“Did you ever wonder what life would have been like if you’d said yes?” said Ridcully.

“No.”

“I suppose we’d have settled down, had children, grandchildren, that sort of thing…”

“What about the fire?” she said.

“What fire?”

“Swept through our house just after we were married. Killed us both.”

“What fire? I don’t know anything about any fire!”

Granny turned around.

“Of course not! It didn’t happen. But the point is, it might have happened. You can’t say ‘if this didn’t happen then that would have happened’ because you don’t know everything that might have happened. You might think something’d be good, but for all you know it could have turned out horrible. You can’t say ‘if only I’d..’ because you could be wishing for anything. The point is, you’ll never know. You’ve gone past. So there’s no use thinking about it. So I don’t.”

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#242

My dad got brain cancer when I was 25. That event accelerated our decision to have kids, and as a result our first daughter was born a few days after I turned 27. The reasoning I came to is that given the probabilities of how children are conceived, if my dad didn't have cancer, our first child would have been someone else than our daughter. So basically wishing anything different for my dad would be wishing that my…

You might appreciate the film About Time. Ignore the cover image which sells it short. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2194499/

The cover and premise push it as a rom com, but I enjoyed the relationship between the son and father much more.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you think everyone at FAANG makes 500k at mid-senior SWE (i.e Associate) level, you're smoking something.

~$500k is what some Amazon L6's and most L7's make. Don't think you can hit that in most Finance positions until VP level, unless you're in Quant finance in hedge funds but then the SWEs make that much too.

SWEs working on infra dont make that at hedge funds or prop shops. It isn’t tied to PnL

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#244
I used to daydream about what I would do if I woke up in my 17 year old body as a high school senior, complete with all the knowledge I had gained since. What would I do differently if I knew then what I know now?

Getting married and having a kid killed it, though. Doing things from scratch would at a minimum mean having a different kid with the same wife, so now when I fantasize about this all I think about is what I would lose.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#245
post #69

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Lmao. Start lifting weights and learn how to dress. Nobody gives a damn what your job is. If you actually think lawyer is a high status job then youre watching too many movies.

Yeah legit no one of importance cares. If you’re in good shape, look good, and have enough disposable income to do fun stuff when you want (any software engineer does)... anybody will find you interesting enough.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#247
post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Excellent break down of the concept by Jordan Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Toronto ( 9:18 ); Jordan Peterson Pick Your Sacrifice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5--W9mhC4zA

[flagged]

Also the same guy who bashes established disorders like ADHD publicly and the whole field of psychiatry(calling them engineers) saying the disorder has deep psychological roots, while himself taking anti-depressants to treat his depression isn't someone worth listening to for anything substantial. This dude thinks a disorder like ADHD is just bad conscientiousness that can be fixed by reading his 12 step book.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#248
post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

46 year old here. Wave I remember feeling like I'd wasted so much time and was irreversibly behind in my twenties. Like, it was all decided. There are so so many figs left. Many many chances ahead of you! That said, time is ticking and while it isn't too late, now is the best time to start!

45, same story. It’s never too late.

It is never too late, but do not let that be an excuse to delay any decision.

42 here, already two major career changes. And I am glad I made both changes.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#249
post #140
post #8

This reminds me of “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, which has a quote Aziz Ansari used in his series “Master of None”: > "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor,…

Fantastic analogy. To go a bit further, what surprised me when trying to choose which branch to take was how narrow each branch is. It’s not enough to pick the “software development” branch, you have to pick a specialty within that. And, it has to be a single specialty. In my particular case, it was hard to accept that I couldn’t be both a successful programming language designer and a successful game developer.

Rob Gilbert is a counter example. He famously designed SCUMM and then made amazing games with it.
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