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Who Americans spend their time with, by age

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Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#241

Post by rootusrootus »

polka_haunts_us wrote: post #152
Swizec wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No it’s definitely meddling when you’re 30+ and your mom waltzes into your kitchen and says “Mmmmm are you sure that knife goes in that drawer? And when’s the last time you did the dishes anyway look at this mess”

And then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trump, but because I don't spend my days ranting about how he's Satan incarnate like she does. My sister aligns politically with my mom and she moved to MONGOLIA to get away from her. I'm glad for people who truly like their families, but not all of us won that pa…

It is both fascinating and sad to watch. My family has split along political lines, with half despising Trump and half worshipping him. Each side hates the other sufficiently that we just avoid talking anymore, so it's like having two distinct families.

I don't know the solution other than everyone agreeing not to talk politics, ever. And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant and only something to think about on election day.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#242

Post by rabuse »

offtop5 wrote: post #7
wil421 wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No I don’t think it’s the same. We are spending some time here but the amount of interaction is very low. I recently bought something from a whiskey group on FB. We spent about 30 minutes talking about whiskey after our transaction. It was probably more meaningful than a week of HN interactions.

Lost Connections is a fantastic book on this. While it's definitely worth a read, the author's core argument is eroding community structures have led to an explosion in mental illness. He has a very interesting tale of a man in a small village who is essentially supported by everyone else there and with that is helped Compared to the typical Western solution assuming your poor or homeless neighbor is the responsibili…

This is why I genuinely enjoy going to this bar near me regularly. It's a very high-end place, but everyone that goes there knows one another, and we're like a giant extended family. People within the group have newborns, and they bring them all the time, and pass them around for all of us to enjoy .

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#244

Post by felipemnoa »

astura wrote: post #182
burade wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism. If you live a simple life without too much stress then it's not really meddling.

What? This makes no sense. Capitalism isn't the problem, lack of boundaries is. My best friend lived upstairs from her parents for years. It was her own apartment but the arrangement was hell on earth. Multiple times a day every day her mom would come barging in (and I do mean barging) to insert herself into whatever was going on in my friend's apartment, make nasty comments, or borrow/take something. Her mom eventua…

Seems like she the mom was bored with her own life and would do this because she couldn't stand her own loneliness. And yes, it is a form of abuse as another commenter mentioned.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#245

Post by felipemnoa »

DamnYuppie wrote: post #202
astura wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What? This makes no sense. Capitalism isn't the problem, lack of boundaries is. My best friend lived upstairs from her parents for years. It was her own apartment but the arrangement was hell on earth. Multiple times a day every day her mom would come barging in (and I do mean barging) to insert herself into whatever was going on in my friend's apartment, make nasty comments, or borrow/take something. Her mom eventua…

That is almost a form of abuse to be honest. I hope your friend has learned to set boundaries and enforce them. People like her mom are very good at manipulating their children and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it.

I imagine that the only way to truly set boundaries would be for the daughter to move away.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#246

Post by [deleted] »

polka_haunts_us wrote: post #152
Swizec wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No it’s definitely meddling when you’re 30+ and your mom waltzes into your kitchen and says “Mmmmm are you sure that knife goes in that drawer? And when’s the last time you did the dishes anyway look at this mess”

And then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trump, but because I don't spend my days ranting about how he's Satan incarnate like she does. My sister aligns politically with my mom and she moved to MONGOLIA to get away from her. I'm glad for people who truly like their families, but not all of us won that pa…

[deleted]

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#247

Post by mattlondon »

burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

> I don’t think there’s an easy fix for this, and that makes me sad.

This sort of thing is advertised as one of the primary use-cases for self-driving cars IIRC. I.e. give people mobility who otherwise would not have the ability to drive (so also e.g. people who are blind etc)

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#248

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

cm2012 wrote: post #154
frakt0x90 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I experienced this first hand when I visited my wife's family in Vietnam. All 10 or so of them live in homes side by side on the outskirts of Saigon. Everyone woke up in the morning and cooked for each other. Every day was like a little party. It was so nice to have that much support around all the time. I have never experienced anything like that in the US. Of course having family literally at your doorstep has its…

This model works when you have a nice family. It sucks horribly when the family is a toxic one.

"You can choose your friends, but not your family."

Not sure when I first heard that quote.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#249

Post by jvanderbot »

rement wrote: post #233
ragazzina wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I cannot wait until the nursing home lan parties. I've seen this sentiment a lot on the internet, but after having visited many nursing homes, I don't think it will ever happen. Maybe nursing homes are different in the US, maybe I've seen the wrong kind of nursing home.

I would guess nursing homes haven't developed LAN parties because the people who grew up doing LAN parties are currently in their 30s and 40s. Not quite nursing home age yet.

Yes, bridge and board games and television dominate. Because those folks played bridge and board games and watched television.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#250

Post by jvanderbot »

dfxm12 wrote: post #190
jvanderbot wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A more "natural" arrangement occurs if we all don't run to large cities chasing glory and gold (which I have done, full disclosure, much to my child-caring woes). There is nothing wrong with nuclear families if you add in something like "nuclear communities". In many small towns or suburban cities, 3 generations live nearby, with all the aunts and uncles. Help with care is always next door, and children are raised wi…

I live in a top 10 US city (based on population), and it seems to be as you describe - generations of family living nearby, grandparents, etc. always around to help with the kids. Weekly (at least) family meals, parties where the whole neighborhood is invited, etc. I grew up knowing most of my friends' cousins and grandparents because they were just always around. Even today, I know my neighbors' kids and nephews bec…

Sure, I should amend my statement to emphasize _running_ (as in away) rather than _big city_. You can certainly flee family support in search of riches from or to big or small cities.
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