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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#241

Post by godelski »

foldr wrote: post #212
godelski wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it is any harder to meet random people today than it used to be. But then again I'm under 30 and so don't know what it "really" used to be like. But I deleted my Facebook (really only social media I had) and I haven't had a hard time meeting new people. Really I'm doing a better job. I think this is more because I'm not using Facebook as a crutch. I used to just say "Oh I'll add you on Facebook" (which…

>This even includes plutonic relationships with the opposite sex. What happens on Pluto stays on Pluto, right?

Everything plutonic is platonic.

(This is my favorite autocorrect mistake of the week. Thanks for catching it)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#242

Post by diogenescynic »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #238
diogenescynic wrote: post #236

We are an incredibly divided country—whether by religion, culture, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, language, etc etc. it’s a constant issue of us vs them. Unfortunately, Trump takes complete advantage of this to divide the country daily which only exacerbates the situation. I truly think this lack of ‘community life’ is killing Americans and the cause of a lot of other issues like health problems and suicide.

It's a vicious circle. This lack of community life also makes us more divided. That in turn helps destroy community life...

Completely agree. How do we fix this? I notice in other countries there is a much more collectivist mentality, whereas Americans are rooted in a mentality of rugged individualism. It’s hard to get Americans to actually care about each other. For example, the Pacific North West is hostile to California, Virginia looks down on North Carolina who looks down on South Carolina... there’s a lot of divisions across as wide range of demographics in America. It seems to be getting worse. Maybe the pendulum will begin to swing the other way? A really sad symptom is how many people go on social media but essentially broadcast to no one and get no feedback. It seems incredibly lonely to realize how many people online are sort of engaging in form of prayer of sorts (speaking to no one, hoping for a reply) and casting their emotions into a black hole of the Internet.

I think for all it’s merits, we’ve gotta get people offline and engaging with each other in the real world. We’ve gotta get people out of their thought bubbles too, but I have no idea how to accomplish that. Bringing back the Fairness Doctrine would probably help.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#243

Post by Tade0 »

psyklic wrote: post #123
coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

I founded a company that did this. Despite our best efforts and aggressive marketing campaigns, it turned into a dating site. For example, messaging almost entirely stopped when we only matched same sexes. We found that even if the app is used for making friends, people look for someone they're attracted to first, since it's just more fun. During our market research, nearly everyone wanted to meet new friends and lik…

I've heard of people using Linkedin like a dating site and even achieving moderate success. I guess you can't win going against love.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#244

Post by sxp62000 »

throwaway427 wrote: post #176
sxp62000 wrote: post #165

In NYC, where I live, I would never strike up a conversation with a random stranger. The first thought that crosses my mind is, "oh they're probably on their way to work", or "they seem busy on their phone", etc. Our smartphones, tablets, headphones definitely make us less approachable. But our attitudes towards work is also to blame. There is this culture of being busy in NYC all the time, it's almost as if people t…

I lived in NYC for ten years, bars are where you can talk to random strangers. I had hundreds of conversations and met many people that way.

Liquid courage helps of course.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#245

Post by p49k »

untog wrote: post #146
p49k wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you think that’s how the world should work? If not, why are you so willing to acquiesce to that model? These kinds of things are such non-issues in other cultures, and if we actually stand up for our values and live our lives by them, maybe we can rid American culture of some of its ridiculousness.

So you're interested in making some new friends? Fantastic! The first thing you need to do is remake American culture

False dichotomy. You can most certainly choose to live life by your own values and make friends. A lot of people respect that trait in a person enough to put aside gossip.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#246

Post by OP9000 »

goldenkey wrote: post #88
Nav_Panel wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you see internet social interaction as being a sufficient replacement for meatspace social interaction?

I see it as a poor substitute. I'm in many many Discords and 95% of the active users refuse to join voice chat. Text is inefficient for resolving miscommunications and it, at least for me, is aggravating when 30 seconds of fast talk could have sufficed

For some people like you, theres no mental cost associated with speaking on the phone. For the rest of us, the mental barrier is huge. Imagine the amount of mental effort required to, say, pack and move your house - the dread is on the same level. Why? I don't really know. I'm very social in person.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#247

Post by pnathan »

androidgirl wrote: post #166

I'm 21 years old, I grew up online. I started on myspace and chat via gmail, eventually moving to Facebook. Fast forward through an early highschool graduation, and taking most college classes online: I have no idea how on Earth I am to socialize with people in the real world. I quit and deactivated Facebook in January, and since I have felt so truly alone. Each day I ride an uber to my dev job, work mostly by myself…

The post-college life is very hard this way. A very good friend of mine did not grow up on the web, is very gregarious, and still finds that connecting with people is hard, despite whereever she goes.

Some regions are worse - the PNW is notoriously bad regarding this.

My suggestion is to find a hobby - any hobby that doesn't seem gross and is within your means and personality - and take a class, then branch out regarding social groups from there.

oh yes - to you (& any other people reading this) - if you ever stop by Seattle, I'm always open for lunch downtown during the work week - and I love meeting Strangers From The Internet. We often have more in common than randos on the street. :)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#248

Post by Andhurati »

pastor_elm wrote: post #231
gwbas1c wrote: post #61

Honestly, I've never had problems talking to random strangers. Some of my best friends were random strangers at first. IMO, the problem has nothing to do with the internet. Instead, the problem has more to do with poorly controlling marketing and homelessness. Political correctness also takes a toll. When I lived in the Bay Area, most of the time I was randomly approached, "on the street," it was from a homeless pers…

>Even political correctness takes a toll. If I start talking with someone who has a different opinion than me, or is a difference race than me, faux pas get blown out of proportion You call it a 'faux pas,' others would call it casual racism or casual sexism, etc. Funny enough, when you point this out to a lot of people, they wind up being the ones to blow up about it.

Probably because sexism and racism are very charged words.

It's kind like calling someone who hugs girls in greeting a casual molester.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#249

Post by pnathan »

sxp62000 wrote: post #165

In NYC, where I live, I would never strike up a conversation with a random stranger. The first thought that crosses my mind is, "oh they're probably on their way to work", or "they seem busy on their phone", etc. Our smartphones, tablets, headphones definitely make us less approachable. But our attitudes towards work is also to blame. There is this culture of being busy in NYC all the time, it's almost as if people t…

When we visited NYC a few years ago, I thought NYC was one of the friendliest places in the USA I'd ever been. And I've been to the midwest, san francisco, the pacific NW, the southwest, and the DC area.

We took the subway and the bus, walked here and there, looked lost every now and then... people offered to help periodically, happily chatted on the subway... it was extremely impressive and we definitely would be up for living there sometime just based on how nice people were. There was a no-bs attitude which was refreshing, but they were also kind to the derpy tourists we were, in ways I'd never expect in Seattle.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#250

Post by pnathan »

claydavisss wrote: post #138

Another sad downside to people fetishizing work...and the wealth that apparently results. Right now people are just alone and grumbling, but give it another ten years and you will see this morph into alcoholism and/or drug abuse. Only a very few will be happy in a society where every interaction is a dick-measuring contest or chance to argue. It's not too late to move to a hick town, find a spouse, pop out some kids…

I've gone from "hick town" and going to church to cities (and going to church).

Everything is better except for the light pollution.

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