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Nine things I learned in ninety years

edwardpackard.com

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Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#231

Post by getpost »

larsnystrom wrote: post #165
ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

On the other hand, many things attributed to chance are actually the aggregate effect of other people's choices. If we make choices based on not just what's best for ourselves but what's best for all of us, we will all suddenly become more "lucky". And vice versa, if we only think about ourselves that luck will diminish.

You're lucky to have that perspective.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#232

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

darkwater wrote: post #130
flanked-evergl wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nope. Statistically, having children before you get married is much more likely to result in worse outcomes. Maybe cause and effect is inverted, but maybe the better option is to not run a social experiment in fatherless children as we have been doing for the past couple of decades with absolutely no research to suggest that it can result in positive outcomes and loads of data to show that it's almost definitely can'…

I don't think you need to run any experiment. Being married or not is just signing a paper. What matters is if the couple live together and in harmony. You can do so without being married and having children, and it's everyday more common. That's why I'm saying you have cause and effect in the wrong order: children issues are tied to one or both parents not caring about them, and a symptom of that was having children…

Did Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn ever get married?

I'd think they would be the poster children for the two-week marriages that Hollywood is notorious for, but they aren't.

Even in the most barren wastelands, flowers can grow.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#233

Post by polishdude20 »

K0balt wrote: post #78
shark1 wrote: post #59

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind." I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

I would argue that perhaps you have confused happiness with joy, or I have confused happiness with a lack of sadness, or perhaps with satisfaction. While I find that joy is a fickle and fleeting thing, I feel that I am happy most of the time, satisfied that things are as they must be, or at least close enough that the state of affairs does not poorly reflect on my efforts. Sadness or grief make their appearance, but…

I wish I had more joy in life especially when I meet people who just seem to exude it so well in their interactions. It seems like they are almost always joyful.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#234

Post by cindyllm »

ghm2199 wrote: post #159

Lived-experiences, this is what is important to understand #3-5. Being able to experience this through practicnng vipassana, after spending a long time being self-centered for a long time, I can speak to the fact that there are a few things to truly come to this level of metaphysical realization 1. A bit of Luck(in finding/stumbling upon these) and psychological safety to try something that can change your mind on ab…

[dead]

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#236

Post by jv22222 »

vladms wrote: post #114
ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

While strictly true, I wonder what does this sentence generates in the minds of the readers. I personally would prefer other formulations, because while I agree with the core, I think this idea should just reduce frustration if you don't succeed, while I am afraid it can be used as an excuse for not trying. Yes, you need luck, but if you never get out of your room/street/neighborhood/city/country, you might have less…

Here’s a good idea about Luck Surface Area https://www.codusoperandi.com/posts/increasing-your-luck-sur...

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#238

Post by ezekiel68 »

biofox wrote: post #102
ayongpm wrote: post #101

What a beautiful writing. I can't resist the urge to typeset it: https://typst.app/project/p5Ivi8TSuNmFpkoSfoJ06r PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GV-yxI4sBS5gg4belO6hXuFvSFW...

"Error: You do not have sufficient permissions to access this project." :(

Same.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#239

Post by jacquesm »

flanked-evergl wrote: post #204
james_marks wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one is suggesting marriage means "all relations between two human beings". Only that there are many ways to demonstrate and be committed to a person. The legal recognization by a church or government is one version, but not the key ingredient.

> Only that there are many ways to demonstrate and be committed to a person. And we don't need to use the word marriage for all of them. > The legal recognization by a church or government is one version, but not the key ingredient. The covenant with god has been a key ingredient for centuries.

Can you please stop flaunting your ignorant and limited worldview all over this thread? You've insulted a good 30% of humanity by now and are on track to insult the remainder, it's getting a little hard on the eyes and there are only so many links of yours that I'm prepared to flag.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#240

Post by jacquesm »

darkwater wrote: post #229
flanked-evergl wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Being married or not is just signing a paper. If we ignore almost all of human history save for the past 50 years, then yes. If we redefine marriage to not mean what most humans that have ever used the word meant by it, then yes. But why would we do these things? If you call all relations between two human beings marriage, you gain nothing, you just lose a word. Marriage is a covenant between two people, a man and…

> If we ignore almost all of human history save for the past 50 years This seems pretty narrow-sighted and Christian-oriented.

It's not even Christian, just a very limited subset of bigots that call themselves Christians.
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