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Impacts of lack of sleep

belkarx.github.io

231–240 of 254 posts

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#231

For me, I find my sleep suffers because of what some describe as "revenge bedtime procrastination". When my job is shit (i.e. now), I'm more inclined to stay on the PC later doing things that bring me some level of joy, or play games to escape the mind spinning its wheels. I seem to more easily recognise that my job is unfulfilling because I'm staying up later or I'm dreading going to bed. Going to bed early for a go…

Quick advice - see if you can shift that to getting up earlier. You will probably spend the couple of hours in the morning in a way that sets you up for a better day vs staying up late sets you up for a bad tomorrow. I say this as an always "late" person who now tries to get up at 5 to work out and reflect, it's been very helpful.

I tried to get up early (5am) almost all my adult life. Till I could, after I was a parent.

My key observation is this, no matter how well I sleep, I will wake up groggy eyed, my mind begging me to go back to bed, for my own sake.

I get out of bed as soon as my eyes open unless its before 4am. My mind plays the dirty trick every day, and I have to tell myself, "what good will a few more minutes of sleep do that the whole night could not" and I'm up.

If my head hurts 10 mins after I'm out of bed, I go back to bed.

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#232
post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like you need to share the night shift. It isn't sustainable to work all day and have every night's sleep ruined like that. It'll get better as the baby sleeps longer and longer, but chances are that you'll get burned out before that unless you get to sleep better. We had separate beds so one of us could sleep undisturbed every night.

Yeah, we have separate beds - she sleeps in what was our room, I sleep on the couch, so I don’t disturb her when I get up to tend to the bairn. She, I feel reasonably, points out that it was not me that spent 10 months being pregnant with our child - and she sleeps extremely soundly, to the extent that she will sleep straight through screaming and crying more often than not, which means I have to be on alert, as I ne…

> She, I feel reasonably, points out that it was not me that spent 10 months being pregnant with our child

She is not being reasonable; your wife sounds entitled and childish.

It's not reasonable to ask someone to go without sleep while the asker gets all the sleep they need, regardless of what happened in the past.

After all, it's not as if you could stock up on sleep while she was pregnant, and now cash in those stocks, can you?

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#233

Resonates with anyone that has had children. Biggest impact for both my wife and I was overall sleep quality/quantity and sacrificing sleep for a modicum of personal time at the end of the day.

My wife still manages 12+ hours per day - I get about 4-6. She wonders why I am gradually becoming irrationally irritable, as in her view being overtired is something that is easily controlled. Easily said when you get to sleep in to 1pm or later every day. I find myself picking fights with anyone and everyone, even inanimate objects. I know it’s crazy. We don’t have time together any more - I just fall asleep the mo…

> I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone has more than one child.

You'd understand it just fine if you weren't getting gaslit by an entitled and selfish wife.

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My wife still manages 12+ hours per day If she didn't start sleeping those number of hours until after having the baby, this sounds like it could be postpartum depression. I'd recommend she gets evaluated by a psychiatrist to confirm, of course.

She’s always slept like that. I’m in therapy, and am considering starting antidepressants, as the whole shebang is making me suicidal - and I think it’s mostly just the constant, gnawing exhaustion - I feel like I have flies crawling around behind my eyes. The sun pisses me off. I shout and swear at the stars at night. Poor kid is stuck in the middle. Doing my best for both of them, I really am, but I gravely underes…

Get more sleep.

That will solve most of your health and mental problems.

Being a martyr getting no sleep and destroying your body and mind so your wife can sleep 12 hours isn't helping your wife or your kids. Not in the short term and 100% not in the long term.

You are going down a path that will result in major health and mental issues for yourself and at the end of the day, your wife and kids will hate you for what you allowed yourself to turn in to... a mean, unhealthy, unstable, fragile, and eventually dead husband.

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#235

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Any parent will tell you that having kids is not going to help your sleep, but most parents find sacrifice unequivocally worth it on the net. Not sure if this is truly what you meant but I would find it highly abnormal that a child does not bring your sufficient joy and meaning that would offset sleep loss.

I have a few bullet points about this: 1. Most people would never say bad things about parenting because it makes them look like demons. I basically tell my friends and colleagues that it is OK and I'm still not sure whether it worths it or not. That's as far honest as I'm willing, although it is pretty close to truth nowadays. I was a lot more snarky a year ago. 2. Humans are very good at adapting. If you told me 3…

how old are your kids? Based on everything i've read on the matter, your satisfaction with having kids just continues to increase over time and by the time they are independent adults its probably more rewarding that almost anything else you could possible imagine doing.

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#236
post #3

I'd wager most people here who don't get enough sleep aren't doing so out of some sort of grindset mentality, but because they simply cannot. I find it very hard to fall asleep, nearly impossible to sleep in (a consequence of getting older?), and more interrupted sleep. I'm reticent to try drugs to enable sleep because I've heard that the sleep they provide is not true sleep.

Go in for a sleep study. You may have sleep apnea. Also work on your sleep hygiene.. There is also sleep therapy which may be helpful.

I find I get the best sleep when I go camping. No artificial light and sync'd with the sun.

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#237
post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh no I might have accidentally stepped on a small land mine. Circadian rhythms aren’t permanent. If they were, international travel would be impossible for humans. Circadian rhythms are defined as entrainable, meaning adjustments to the environment must change the rhythm. I might have to walk this back some day, but right now that site you linked gives me vibes of homeopathy. There’s a non-zero amount of irony in as…

> Circadian rhythms aren’t permanent. If they were, international travel would be impossible for humans. Circadian rhythms are defined as entrainable, meaning adjustments to the environment must change the rhythm. Sure. That's why I'm a night owl in every timezone. You seem to be assuming that circadian rhythms are driven by some stable 24h/cycle oscillator, with an offset that can be changed with some effort, whethe…

> You seem to be assuming that circadian rhythms are driven by some stable 24h/cycle oscillator, with an offset that can be changed with some effort, whether self-directed or in response to environment changes.

I don’t know how you got that out of what I said above, but FWIW, Wikipedia does say that in order to call something a Circadian rhythm, it must be a cycle of about 24 hours, and it must be resettable [1], which seems to match your assumptions about my assumptions exactly... your description appears to fit the definition of Circadian rhythm almost exactly, you’re only missing the bit about temperature compensation.

> if that was the case, international travel would be a chore - you’d probably be back home before you finished adjusting.

I totally don’t understand what you’re saying here. Jet lag is pretty well understood, no? It takes a few days to adjust, and they you’re fine. If you fly home after a day or two, yeah, you’re home before your Circadian rhythm got reset. If you stay a week or more, and you’d be fine overseas and then have to reset again when you get home. It’s widely agreed that jet lag does make international travel a bit of a chore, no?

I mostly assume that the minute people start talking about Circadian rhythms, we’re probably in the arena of pseudoscience. I’ve just noticed over time that invocations of Circadian rhythms get used incorrectly a lot to justify bogus arguments, like with daylight saving time, for example, with claims that humans can be out of sync with their rhythms for months and months. That’s not true according to Wikipedia’s definition, because Circadian rhythms must also be able to be “reset by exposure to external stimuli (such as light and heat).” [1] And the reset generally takes at most a few days for most people. [2] The ‘sleep foundation’ article above certainly loses credibility by mentioning Circadian rhythms and then launching into the ‘what’s your spirit animal’ personality quiz blogspam fad.

I don’t know what evidence there is for an offset that changes when traveling but can’t change when staying put, or that it’s genetic. Do you have links to any? There’s a metric ton of evidence that superficially seems to counter that idea, because humans adapt and change sleep schedules all the time, they respond to light therapy, etc.

Look I’m generally a night owl too, and left to my own devices I wake up late and go to sleep late. I have absolutely no doubt that it’s very difficult for some people to change though, I’m not suggesting it’s easy. But - have you ever tried camping outdoors for a week or more? It’s quite surprising to me how fast I adjust to waking up with the sun. Try it! There’s also loads of evidence that people have a hard time changing any habits, and that use of electronic screens and artificial lighting mess with our sleep schedules, and that jobs and life stress can as well. We have to rule all those effects out first before saying it can’t be changed, and those are really hard to rule out, no?

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythm#Criteria

[2] https://nigms.nih.gov/education/fact-sheets/Pages/circadian-...

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#238
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That dose may be ten times too high: https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/07/10/melatonin-much-more-th... I was prescribed melatonin by a doctor, and the dose went up little by little from 3mg to 10mg before we decided it didn't work for me. Sure it helped me fall asleep, but then I woke up a few hours later and couldn't sleep again. Years later I have started taking 0.5mg (1mg is the smallest pill I could find, and I spl…

Would definitely concur, and add that it's frustratingly hard to find small pills of melatonin. I remember going to a presentation where the presenter was describing a clinical trial they were performing where they gave melatonin to some people for some reason I can't remember. But when they mentioned that they were giving 20mg each night the presenter noticed the look of absolute horror on my face. I almost asked th…

This brand is pretty good for an appropriate dosage: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01HFN5NVU?psc=1

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Difference between parental experience can be wild . Sometimes up to literal survivorship bias talk from other parents; can be mildly annoying but ultimately I always feel happy for them and their kid(s) that they just don’t seem to (want to?) really know better. Again, good for them - and us all - lest we’d have gone extinct long time ago ;)

I’ve also had a few friends who manage to burn out in every situation. They’ve burned out in every job they’ve ever had, they burned out in college, they burned out in high school, etc. So of course, they’re burning out with parenting now too. At some point, we have to acknowledge that personality plays a big role in this. Some people create their own stress in any situation.

[deleted]

Re: Impacts of lack of sleep

#240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Difference between parental experience can be wild . Sometimes up to literal survivorship bias talk from other parents; can be mildly annoying but ultimately I always feel happy for them and their kid(s) that they just don’t seem to (want to?) really know better. Again, good for them - and us all - lest we’d have gone extinct long time ago ;)

I’ve also had a few friends who manage to burn out in every situation. They’ve burned out in every job they’ve ever had, they burned out in college, they burned out in high school, etc. So of course, they’re burning out with parenting now too. At some point, we have to acknowledge that personality plays a big role in this. Some people create their own stress in any situation.

Thanks for sharing your paternal wisdom with us again.
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