Nothing gives me more anxiety than HN. Facebook is nothing compared to the depression I get from being constantly downvoted here simply by having an opinion that doesn't resonate with the norm.
I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
231–240 of 272 posts
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#232The book I recommend on this topic is '10 Arguments for deleting your social media accounts right now' by Jaron Lanier.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37830765-ten-arguments-f...
It makes the arguments for doing so very clearly and with a good sense of humor. Lanier, is a treasure, I always like how balanced he sees the tech industry, it isn't all good or bad but a mingling of ideas.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#233About 11 years ago I ran a script that deleted everything I ever posted on facebook. It worked well for a while and then it started to scramble leaving bizarre posts with huge timeline gaps. I had to manually delete the rest.
I also un-followed everyone and everything. It took days - since then facebook has been a wonderful tool for me to keep in touch with distant friends and it is still used by many in my social groups for organising gatherings.
Ultimately I know mostly just use it for work. I get quite a lot of business from Facebook connections.
My advice: delete the news feed and un-follow but keep your connections.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#234I think with social media's goal of "connecting everyone" and "bringing everyone together" has brought us too close. So close that we're like a village -- blasting out clickbait and accusations with rare repercussions and making sure we say "hi" to all our neighbors in the village while also maintaining our "social status" within this village: i.e. reputation. I'm glad I took off from there a while back.
Social media promised to connect people. It connected avatars instead. People are physical. We have bodies and brains. We have thoughts and opinions. We have friends. Avatars are conceptual. They have representations, not bodies; "profile pics" that are edited and changed constantly, never bearing much resemblance to the human it claims to represent. Avatars have agendas, not opinions or thoughts. They seek to convin…
Interesting point. At the same time, if a person legitimately has an account (meaning it's their personal account) and decides to let everyone know of their entire personality, it won't be "pursuing an agenda".
But realistically, this doesn't happen; unless that avatar is anonymous and can't be linked to you. I think this is why places like Reddit and HN to some extent are good: they allow people to freely speak, but at the same time you're technically still being manipulated by what others think (on r/popular for example)... which brings me to my last point:
You're a composition of years of manipulation. It just depends on who you trust, whether it's in real life or online.
In all, I agree with your point, but giving anonymity brings people to talk more about themselves, which hopefully is a bit better than the world that you described is.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#235Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't have a solution for Facebook, since it feels like there's a bit too much garbage on the platform. But for Instagram, I've started fresh following a limited set of close friends and interests. Few enough that I can still participate and get updates about friends and interests without feeling the urge to check multiple times per day. If anything "important" happens to someone I'm not following, my friends are k…
That is a great approach. I'll take a stab at pruning who I'm connected with and see if the experience improves!
Yep. I started with a new account to make things easier. Pruning from hundreds down to 10-50 is much harder than just thinking about who/what you actually care about.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#236These posts are so tiring.
It's usually from the same people that are super active and obnoxious on FB. Posting every single hours of their life. And suddenly realizing they addicted to it. And they still need to post about it.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#237These posts are so tiring. It's usually from the same people that are super active and obnoxious on FB. Posting every single hours of their life. And suddenly realizing they addicted to it. And they still need to post about it.
At least the writer of the article didn't feel compelled to use Medium to post it
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#238Earlier quoted context omitted.
If someone can't be arsed to call me or send me an email inviting me to their birthday then I don't consider them a friend. I have not had this issue since quitting facebook around 2011. But then again I have clearly notified those people that are actually my friends that if they want to include me they need to call or email or something like that. Nobody has issues with that and fully understand my desire to stay aw…
> If someone can't be arsed to call me or send me an email inviting me to their birthday then I don't consider them a friend. And they think the same of you. If their preferred method of communication is Facebook message, are you really a friend if you don’t care?
> And they think the same of you. If their preferred method of communication is Facebook message, are you really a friend if you don’t care?
It's hardly the same though, it's not like the other commenter's expressing a preference for a call or text where the other would be equally possible. It's exceedingly unlikely that someone with the capacity to have a preference for Facebook messaging is unable to call or text; the reverse isn't true.
Saying 'I would rather we texted' vs. email or whatever is not the same as 'I would rather you sign up for this service and use it to contact me'.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#239Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#240I quit social media for a long time too. And then I noticed how disconnected I was from all my old school friends and contacts. Even close family that still uses Facebook but I otherwise don’t talk to much directly (brother’s wives posting about their kids and stuff like that, maybe even more extended than that). Really, I’m starting to think that opting out of social media altogether is a bit like opting to be a her…
Maybe old school friends and in-laws don't really matter that much. I see my brother in law a few times a year; i see old school friends once every couple years. Is this not sufficient? On the other hand i could legit be a hermit...