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Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

glench.com

231–240 of 328 posts

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#231
post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That Kipling poem is flawless. Injecting virtue signalling dilutes its beauty. They don't even go together. This is personal for me because it is the most profound thing I've ever read. For someone to come and refer to it as sexist is demeaning. Savor it and quit being so wound up is all I'm saying. There's a place for everything and this was ill-placed.

I think it's very possible to read the last few lines in a non-gendered light. You have to want it to be misogynistic in order to interpret it as such.

I'm not sure I agree, madam.

There is a gulf between "misogynistic" and "being part of a culture that largely ignores women". It strains credulity to claim that the words "son" and "man" don't draw males closer and push females away. Any one poem is a "micro", but it adds up across the culture.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you qualified to assess threats for credibility? It’s actually a fairly involved skillset, and unless you’re used to working with MOSAIC you might want to leave it to people who are qualified.

And the beat cop who was to take your statement is going to be more qualified? They know even less of the details of the situation. The only thing calling the cops does is make the prosecution's job easier in the highly unlikely event that the threat does turn out to be credible. Calling the cops doesn't actually protect you from anything in a situation like this. I don't understand why people don't understand that.…

Even as someone who is in some regards-but not all-annoyed with and frustrated about the state of policing in America, this take is even too cynical for me.

And the beat cop who was to take your statement is going to be more qualified?

Emphatically: yes.

Threat assessment is literally one of the things police departments are trained on in some degree or another, and they have a pretty powerful escalation path at their disposal when working to vet and take action on those threats if deemed credible when someone says "I will come to your office and kill you"--if the situation warrants it (PNI).

You may not like the outcomes, but one's personal opinions on how effective an investigation is doesn't preclude the constabulary from having much more expertise in their ranks than a direct line supervisor at investigating a threat to someone's life.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#233
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd like to prefix this as _anecdotal_ as it is only some speculation I've done on the matter, but here is my take on it: The brain is in the end a neural network, and like all such devices, can get stuck in various local minima that are difficult to get out of. An old habit that has been reinforced through many years can take a considerable "shock" to dislodge. All the little cognitive and behavioral biases that one…

like i said, someone who isn't me was able finally watch how he ate . Swim grabbed a big plate, sat in front of a mirror, and ate it all! It was definitely not a good experience for swim, but as you said, it was a mind opening one, because swim was able to watch himself as a third party, free from all the defense mechanisms that did not let him see what he saw before and for all those years. After that, swim knew for…

SWIY is 100% correct about "is"-ness vs "being"-ness. It may be simple but it is incredibly profound. And yet, some things aren't actually changeable. Case in point, sexual orientation. Even with total personal commitment, it does not seem to be malleable. Not that it has never changed or evolved for anyone, but that hard work and time are not sufficient to create that change intentionally.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#234
post #90

Maybe too many people are trying to find all their meaning in life through their work. It's not a recipe for success for most people, I think the media plays it up a bit too much. They're only covering the success stories in terms of people who are single minded and who make their work everything. The author of the article doesn't mention any relationships or other interests in life, no passion for anything but work.…

To me, this guy sounds like he's suffering from classic burnout. I know because I could have written the exact same thing when I burnt out in undergrad:

"I tried prioritizing my work, focusing on the things I felt the most passionately about, but when I tried to work on the projects at the top of this list I couldn't summon any energy. Yet I spent hours and hours thinking obsessively about the ultimate point of my work."

I mean, heck, the guy said he was reading 50 (no doubt challenging) books a year on his work. That's insane.

It's pretty simple: you can't work at an insane pace forever, and eventually your subconscious will rebel and stop working with you.

In my case, it felt like my intentions and actions were connected by a plastic gear, and I had spent so many years jamming that gear as hard as I could that it stripped the teeth off of it. My intentions could spin as hard as they wanted to, but eventually I just found it impossible to do anything.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#235
post #36

I've been having the same existential crisis for a couple years now. I started working at a FAANG company right out of college, then after a bunch of personal health problems ended up taking a leave of absence that I didn't return from. I took a long break from software and started learning politics, philosophy, and history, and eventually came to the conclusion that most of the world's problems are social/political…

What you're dealing with right now is called burnout. I know because I've been there.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#236
post #231
post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's very possible to read the last few lines in a non-gendered light. You have to want it to be misogynistic in order to interpret it as such.

I'm not sure I agree, madam. There is a gulf between "misogynistic" and "being part of a culture that largely ignores women". It strains credulity to claim that the words "son" and "man" don't draw males closer and push females away. Any one poem is a "micro", but it adds up across the culture.

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Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#237

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What will you do when you retire for good?

I did intend to retire for good. Now I’m thinking to maybe do coding a few months per year, and food delivery on bicycle for the rest, in order to get a work out and be useful to someone. I realized, if I’m not useful, then I’m useless.

I'm considering FIRE and I think it is a fundamental human need to feel useful to society. You have to find some way to fulfill that.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#238
post #198
post #36

I've been having the same existential crisis for a couple years now. I started working at a FAANG company right out of college, then after a bunch of personal health problems ended up taking a leave of absence that I didn't return from. I took a long break from software and started learning politics, philosophy, and history, and eventually came to the conclusion that most of the world's problems are social/political…

What really worries me is that thinking about it probably the greatest positive influence you can have, at least in theory, would be to build something massively exploitative and unethical, siphon gross amounts of money out of the economy with it, and then insure that money is not spent unethically again. A large part of why things are the way they are is because both wealth hoarders and consumers incentivize the sta…

This is a noble intent, but it presumes that the perception and cognition of the individual remains unchanged by the circumstances in life. Capital is only a form of power, which is known to corrupt.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#239
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd like to prefix this as _anecdotal_ as it is only some speculation I've done on the matter, but here is my take on it: The brain is in the end a neural network, and like all such devices, can get stuck in various local minima that are difficult to get out of. An old habit that has been reinforced through many years can take a considerable "shock" to dislodge. All the little cognitive and behavioral biases that one…

like i said, someone who isn't me was able finally watch how he ate . Swim grabbed a big plate, sat in front of a mirror, and ate it all! It was definitely not a good experience for swim, but as you said, it was a mind opening one, because swim was able to watch himself as a third party, free from all the defense mechanisms that did not let him see what he saw before and for all those years. After that, swim knew for…

Hey friend.

No need for the SWIM. It gives you no plausible legal deniability.

That's all I have to say. Glad you managed to perceive your problem (and therefore fix it). I too have found psychedelics helped me address issues in my life that I wasn't even aware of.

edit:

>Swim realizes now that no one ever "is" something, they just "are being (something) right now". and if you gain that notion, you realize that everything in yourself that you want to change can be changed with hard work and enough time.

I had that exact same realization on shrooms. What a succinct and beautiful way to put it.

Re: Why I Quit Tech and Became a Therapist

#240

Correction: "Decided to become a therapist". >Shortly after beginning my Hakomi training, I applied and was accepted to the professional mental health counseling masters program at Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where I'm studying and training through 2020 to get my licensure. Going through schooling is not the same as becoming something. The title implies that there was success found here, but so far…

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