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Crying

robinwe.is

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Re: Crying

#231

Post by Jaruzel »

I love this thread. I've been a long time HN lurker, but only fairly recently did I create an account and start contributing.

See the honesty and emotion on these comments really makes me feel I'm hanging out with a good bunch of people. It's so refreshing compared to the toxic communities of the other large social sites.

I'm a cryer. I cry a lot, I'm also clinically depressed with social anxiety, which makes social interaction difficult, so my emotional are mostly on the surface anyway. Crying for me is the best form of emotional release. I cry at the big ending in films, I cry at the end of amazing books (The Green Mile totally destroyed me, I was in business class on a plane at the time, blubbering my eyes out...).

On balance though, I also get very angry often. I guess you can't have one without the other...

Re: Crying

#232

Post by imaginenore »

aantix wrote: post #42
imaginenore wrote: post #8

> I've always considered myself to be a bit of a crybaby No, that's some ridiculous amount of crying. I wonder if it's severe depression or Pseudobulbar affect or some hormonal disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect

What's your baseline? Your own crying frequency? If you were emotionally honest, and genuinely logged every time you were frustrated, would we be playing arm chair data scientist saying "this person has some major anger issues!"

Notice how you substituted "crying" with "frustrated", and then proceeded to build your argument on that. I do get frustrated to various levels of degrees with all kinds of things (stupid bug in my code, people not putting away milk in the fridge). Do I need to cry every time? Hell no. And neither people around me. I've known some crybabies, but even they didn't cry nearly as much.

Re: Crying

#233

Post by notduncansmith »

kpil wrote: post #224
ianmcgowan wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a nice theory, but it seems to be common to get emotional with age - senile lability if you want to google it. My first introduction to the term as a teenager was in Earthly Powers[1]. Didn't get it then, but as I get older (and like you after kids), I find I tear up at stories of sacrifice and generosity. [1] https://books.google.com/books?id=PsJyuYIL-_MC&pg=PT6&lpg=PT... [2] https://books.google.com/books?id…

I think there is a difference between senile decay, and the fact that when you are getting older, you have witnessed the fragility of life in ways that most teenagers luckily have not. I think my empathy is growing as I'm getting older. I am aware that some people just hardens up or getting more or less traumatized if they experience really traumatic events or periods and I don't think it is that useful to look at wa…

Empathy definitely has to be exercised and trained regularly to work well. As I understand it (not an expert but I've read up on it on the Internet), children are pretty much incapable of it until ~4 as there's some mental development necessary. If you spend lots of time in an environment where you're not conscious of building your empathy and remembering to use it, your ability and tendency to do so will wither.

Re: Crying

#234

Post by wazoox »

drawkbox wrote: post #77
lomnakkus wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas[1] I should have seen it coming but it was a freight train, never did a movie hit so hard like that. War though a child's eye is worse than the adult perspective of war. [1] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914798/

Charlie Chaplin's movies. Modern Times is very funny, but the end scene. I cry every time. City lights, ditto, the end scene is so strong. And Limelight. And the Gold rush...

Re: Crying

#235

Post by washadjeffmad »

asymmetric wrote: post #218
Smaug123 wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know, but prior probabilities suggest not. Notice, however, that it is not just M2F transsexuals who have "female" hormones in their bodies. Almost everyone has them, and some people (such as females) tend to have more of them than others.

I'm intrigued by the "almost". Are there people with 0% female (or male) hormones?

There are at least people with hormone insensitivity. An example is a phenotypically female Olympic athlete with AIS[1] (had female sex organs) who was chromosomally male (XY). It caused a bit of a controversy at the time.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrom...

Re: Crying

#236

Post by SyneRyder »

lomnakkus wrote: post #49
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

Thank you for The Fountain recommendation. It got me too, and it's one of the few Aronofsky films I hadn't yet seen. It was due to expire on Netflix in just a couple of hours & racing to finish it before it timed out added to the experience.

Re: Crying

#237

Post by rpgmaker »

IkmoIkmo wrote: post #74
lomnakkus wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

Jeez I must be dead inside :(

Not really, neither Up nor Toy Story 3 did it for me as movies (a very unpopular opinion I know). I choke up watching a movie or TV show from time to time, maybe more than I'd like to admit, but I don't share the popular opinion about those two movies.

Re: Crying

#238

Post by washadjeffmad »

lomnakkus wrote: post #49
donatj wrote: post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

I saw The Fountain in theaters with a younger friend, and while I was moved, he "didn't really get it". Not that he didn't understand the events of the movie, but he'd never experienced the frailty and desperation the kind of personal, intense bond with another that the film evoked. He'd never loved and lost.

I'm also moved by wonderment and perspectives of scope and scale, which is probably why I reread the same handful of novels every few years, including Larry Niven's Known Space series. If anyone has other suggestions producing a similar effect, I'd be interested.

By reflex of my upbringing, I choke down any strong feelings by default and chalk it up to self-control. It doesn't make me hurt or feel any less, but some people recoil from emotional expression in men or can't help themselves when they sense vulnerability, and you don't find out which it is until the dam breaks. It's made me weaker as a person, a worse partner, and not as good of a friend as I'd like to be, but it's what everyone is used to. I'm expected to keep it together when others are angry, panic, or get flustered so I can guide everyone back on track. It's a big source of stress for me, but I have to find other outlets than letting flow my tears.

Re: Crying

#239

Post by an_ko »

GunboatDiplomat wrote: post #187
an_ko wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being emotionally invested in the well-being of others has its costs, especially when looking deeper into things exposes you to injustice you could have ignored before.

That seems like an argument for minimal emotional involvement in others.

It's just a fact, presenting the negative side of such involvement, because that was sufficient for pointing out the flaw in the parent post's reasoning.

The positive side is that it gives you a fuller picture and experience of the world. Whether it's better to be a "a fool satisfied or Socrates dissatisfied" is one for the ages though.

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