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Suicidal Software Developer

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Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#221

Post by mreiland »

gobots wrote: post #207
mreiland wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're missing Saraid's point.

Indeed – or more to the point: I wasn't clear in my original statement. I am learning about certain aspects of religion – not learning comparative religion. I am not however "learning atheism" as others have decided to claim in this thread. I stopped believing in god years ago, at that point by definition I was an atheist. I am interested in the origins of religion, the scientific reasons that it exists, and the nega…

By definition you can't learn about religion either because the only thing required for religion is to believe in it.

You are misunderstanding his point because it infringes upon how you self-identify. Perspective is weird like that sometimes.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#222

Post by mreiland »

gobots wrote: post #194
mreiland wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His reply was in the context of you labeling yourself an atheist. Perhaps you should avoid that term in the future.

I'm sorry, what? I should avoid labeling myself as an atheist... when I'm an atheist? Why?

Then you deal with the baggage that comes from such a label, and clarifying that you're a 'secular humanist' doesn't give you the right to expect to avoid that baggage.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#223

Post by mreiland »

igravious wrote: post #211
mreiland wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To answer 4: Human beings perceive things through emotion, so anything that cause a perspective shift that enables them to deal with their emotions/the situation in a more positive manner helps them cope, be that getting religion, losing religion, or some other circumstance in their life. Also, you're an asshole for using this thread to start pushing an agenda.

No. No I'm not. If anything your hostility is indicative why it is so beneficial that we now have these virtual forums where we can exchange ideas on these topics in a non-confrontational manner. Nothing is gained through hostility. Let's be clear. I do have an agenda. But you also have an agenda. Your approach is only going to make my resolve firmer not weaken it. Maybe, I don't know, think through what you're tryin…

It's because I'm ok with being blunt about my opinion. There can be no mistake about how I perceived your pushing an agenda in a thread involving someone's severe depression.

You on the other hand, are simply passive aggressive.

The hope is that the people you're responding to will read it and realize they're not alone when being attacked (yes, asking loaded questions can be an attack).

There is a time and place for everything, and while you have every right to post anything you want to, you also have the responsibility of doing it in good taste. This was neither the time, nor the place, and shame on you for doing it.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#224

Post by xamebax »

codeshaman wrote: post #181
xamebax wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That's how the hit of LSD or psilocybin (mushrooms) might help, but you need to know what and how you're doing it. I figured out your LSD therapy was a form of self-help, but as someone who is under constant, long-term care of a psychiatrist, I have been told more than once that in the case of depression drugs and habitual alcohol intake are a no-go. LSD is especially dangerous. Please don't advise suicidal and men…

Your psychiatrist might be uninformed or maybe what he means is not to indulge in drugs as a way to escape reality (which I agree with). Psychedelics, when taken in a safe setting and with the right goals (eg. as a therapy aid, not recreationally) can be extremely efficient for treating depression and all sorts of emotional issues. There's a lot of literature and articles on the subject, for instance: http://mentalhe…

> Your psychiatrist might be uninformed or maybe what he means

I think I am able to judge the competence of the doctor I am using, and, as their patient, determine the value their opinion better than a person on HN that happens to read a lot on the Internet and quotes an article with gaps in logic and no scientific proof that mushrooms actually help cure mental illness in people.

> In fact, I bet it would be detrimental for the whole industry if you could treat your mental issues in one or two settings and not use expensive psychiatric drugs for years.

Yeah, I bet it's the same with diabetes and cancer.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#225

Post by semerda »

Sorry to hear the sad story. But there is always hope.

Start taking 5000 UI vitamin D daily and buy 10K LUX lamp which you should use for 1 hour a day minimum. London is a gloomy city, overcast most of the time (from what I remember). Most of us are Vitamin D deficient (dwelling all day) and lack at least 1 hour of direct sun light. This affects our mood (leads to SAD) and spirals into depression. Get a blood test to confirm vitamin D deficiency if you need the additional data / motivation.

Before making any major decisions like quitting jobs or similar address your body's biological needs to balance it out. And then when in good spirit and mind make the right decision.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#226

Post by nomedeplume »

etjossem wrote: post #208
nomedeplume wrote: post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"We are in the real world and what we say matters". That was the logic that ousted Larry Summers from Harvard. There is a double standard. Men and women have different brains and different emotional needs. Lesbian brains can be more similar to mens'. And how dare the castrated men like you allow the feminist coalition to suffer any setback driven by logical argument. Good on you.

Take a look at what you wrote. You're not attempting to explain a difference in the standard deviation of male and female test scores - backed by data - in an exercise of positive scholarship. Putting aside the hilariously sexist conclusions other people drew from that data, you are not Larry Summers. All you're doing is giving normative advice about what men and women's identities should look like. You're claiming t…

(1) This is the most vacuous and wrong thing you wrote

> men can think women are people too

Implying that I do not think that women have agency.. What a ridiculous and exacerbated claim.

(2) All you're doing is giving normative advice about what men and women's identities should look like.

Not whatsoever... are you kidding me... it is descriptive analysis; neither normative nor prescriptive

(3) You're claiming that women will always be unhappy with partners whose identities depend on their partner, and you're also saying that it's unacceptable for men to do that.

No, not always. First off, heterosexual women. And I'm not saying unacceptable; quite the opposite. Read the original post I made; think.

And for happiness and identity, I just said, there's a single point of failure. I mean.. we're on a hacking forum, I thought that people would grasp the metaphor.

And as in industry and academia, I think it is better to design a system (the psyche) that functions for happiness. Zen.

(4) There are no logical arguments being made here. It's pure misogyny.

That's totally ridiculous, I'm not a misogynist, I resent being called that, and I absolutely do not categorically hate women. This entire thing implies the possibility of a sexist expression and display.. from you.

I may vaguely fear women as they are mirrors of nature. Read the post I made. But I do not hate them: I have too much respect for their value for that. Anyway, generally in day to day life, I approach things on a situation by situation basis. I don't have any hateful misogynist goal or agenda. Cui prodest?

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#228

Post by voho »

comrh wrote: post #17
voho wrote: post #14

Suicide is a mortal sin. Try live somewhere else. Australia, Africa, Bulgaria, Island, New Zealand... and do not be a crybaby.

Shut it you demeaning, ignorant, jerk. Not everyone believes in your definition of "mortal sin" or even the concept and telling someone struggling with something so profound to "not be a crybaby" is one of the most rage inducing, unhelpful and ridiculous things I've ever heard. You have no idea what you are talking about.

Sorry if it made you feel the bad way, not my intention.

But. Is it helpful, if he gets thousands of comments saying "it will be ok"? It probably wont if he does not change something.

Do you agree with suicide? I do not. Why? It is a mortal sin for me, if nothing else. It is my opinion and you have a different one, okay.

Also I do not think that word "crybaby" is something a grown adult man would have problem with.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#229

Post by voho »

cupofjoakim wrote: post #28
voho wrote: post #14

Suicide is a mortal sin. Try live somewhere else. Australia, Africa, Bulgaria, Island, New Zealand... and do not be a crybaby.

Dude - this guy is seriously depressed! You need to think about what you're saying, you're coming of as the biggest asshole on HN.

OK, maybe I coult write it in different words, but the point was to reprobate suicide as the solution and suggest a change in his life. Crybaby thing relates to the thing being a man.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#230

Post by london1988 »

mrcwinn wrote: post #63

Hey there, if you're listening! I actually dealt with something similar almost a decade ago. I never considered suicide, but during a snowy winter where I also experienced financial pressure and a lot of family strain and changes, I very slowly slipped into a sort of "fog." I also became very sensitive, both to how people interacted with me, but even to physical things. I remember bumping my shoulder into a door one…

Thanks for the kind words and your own story. Its interesting to hear you talk about "slowly slipped into a sort of 'fog.'". At times that feeling really resonates with how I'm feeling. Perhaps in the future I'll experience the "fog lift over me". For now though turning the corner was yesterday and although I feel like things have got worse I can also see thinning of that "fog". I think I made a mistake waiting so long to take action.

"Don't stress about any one thing, and make sure you are treating others well (by taking care of yourself)."

I'll keep that one close.

p.s I've registered and spoken to my GP and will be taking counselling as soon as I can.

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