How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

I suggest reading these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapist

Being introverted doesn't have to be painful, and you don't have to stop being introverted to stop hurting. A good therapist (and/or medication) can help with that. Part of that will involve changing how you think about yourself, and part of that will involve practicing the things you aren't confident about. Talking to people will become easier that way.

In the Bay Area there's a good chance you'll be able to find a therapist that speaks your native language. If you find it hard to open up with them, start by showing them this post.

About meeting and finding friends. First thing that comes to mind is participating in some group activity: take Salsa classes (a good way of overcoming shyness, BTW). Buy a bicycle and get in touch with local biking community (via forum or app like www.meetup.com). If you prefer running do the same with running. Or horseback riding, or whatever. Or take cooking classes! Just remember that it must be group activity and your task is not to learn, for example, to cook but to participate in activity with a group of other people. So if you did not find friends in current group for, say, 3 months, move on to the next activity. Also, I would avoid IT-related activities as IT-people in general are "not very social", mildly speaking (I am programmer myself). Good luck!

It's about balance. In my case, my introversion is strong enough that I usually let it have its way. If I find myself doing that too often, I try to be mindful of it and moderate it. It's work, though. Friendships need work. I have a hell of a time explaining this to my more extraverted friends -- many of whom "don't see it," because I'm not particularly shy or reserved in social settings. (Incidentally, I've been called an asshole or a misanthrope on occasion, because people don't "buy" my introversion. They just think I'm avoiding them.)

Imagine if it was a Black engineer, again, it matters very little, don't put society's label on yourself.

Also, you are totally not alone man, everyone's been there. I used to live and work alone but it's like well, something you just gotta get through. If it helps, I hear California has a great medical marijuana program, it would definitely help you relax and help you forget about being lonely, although I wouldn't rely on it solely.

You can add me on skype if you feel lonely sometime, just email me.