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Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

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Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#221

Post by pillefitz »

JR1427 wrote: post #142
pillefitz wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What's so great about the army? To me, it appears to be one of the most unethical occupations one could have.

Travel, adventure, camaraderie, to name a few. At university I started down the path of joining the infantry as an officer. At first it was great fun - getting paid to go camping on weekends away from university. But when the political side began being pressed home more and more, it didn't sit well with my beliefs. Oh, and I met my now wife at that time, and didn't want to go disappearing off. I ended up getting a Ph…

Thanks for sharing! This all sounds good, but like another poster said, most of it can be experienced without killing other humans / oppressing other countries. Seems like a huge sacrifice just to have fun.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#222

Post by stopyellingatme »

donatj wrote: post #143

I turned 40 the other day. There has been unrelenting reflection on where I am and how I got here. A lot of lament for a small handful of decisions and a life marked by avoiding uncomfortable decisions. I don't know where the last 20 years have gone. Last I remember, I was playing Wii in my friend's basement. I remember the seemingly endless opportunities nights laid out before us. DVDs and pizza and furious laughter…

I hope you find peace. Give yourself some grace in the meantime.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#223

Post by ClarityGuy »

senorqa wrote: post #55

These kind of articles remind me of an article in Polish I read few years ago: "Millennials are a generation that has fallen into the trap of constant self-development" It helped me to deal with my own unrealistic and unrealized dreams/aspirations/etc. Here's a version in English done by Google Translate https://archive.org/details/millennials-are-a-generation-tha... The original article in Polish: https://weekend.ga…

Isn't a career in tech a trap of constant self-development?

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#224

Post by c22 »

georgemcbay wrote: post #216
renegade-otter wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can see how my advice could be read the wrong way in this post-shame world. No, I do NOT mean "be an asshole if you feel like it". I mean it more in the latter sense - take a vacation, go to Pompey. Say hello to the girl you like and see what happens. It's something you can do now, so later you don't replay it endlessly, wondering what would have been. Also, no billionaire right in the head will be bemoaning not ha…

> No, I do NOT mean "be an asshole if you feel like it". FWIW, I didn't think you did and could have worded my reply more carefully. I didn't mean to imply your suggestion of avoiding regret was likely to be the "be an asshole if you feel like it" type of regret minimization, I just wanted to point out that regret minimization can be either good or bad depending upon what the person doing it values. > Also, no billio…

Perhaps it's a consequence?

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#225

Post by mrfumier »

mym1990 wrote: post #60

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig…

Everything, everywhere, all at once.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#226

Post by georgemcbay »

c22 wrote: post #224
georgemcbay wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No, I do NOT mean "be an asshole if you feel like it". FWIW, I didn't think you did and could have worded my reply more carefully. I didn't mean to imply your suggestion of avoiding regret was likely to be the "be an asshole if you feel like it" type of regret minimization, I just wanted to point out that regret minimization can be either good or bad depending upon what the person doing it values. > Also, no billio…

Perhaps it's a consequence?

> Perhaps it's a consequence?

Could be, some social psychologists believe extreme wealth almost inexorably changes human psychology for the worse, see for example https://www.ted.com/talks/paul_piff_does_money_make_you_mean

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#227

Post by vagab0nd »

stego-tech wrote: post #50

It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…

Compared to the vast amount of things you will be able to do, the ones that are hard limited is a tiny portion.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#229

Post by fcatalan »

sph wrote: post #136

I just finished reading Four Thousand Weeks and this post resonates with me a lot. I recommend it. Despite its subtitle, it's decidedly not a conventional "time management" book, just a reminder that life is too short to do all the things you are wishing for today, that the day where you'll finally find the time to tackle that project will never arrive, and freedom is found when you just drop all that hope and need t…

Thank you for this recommendation. This last week I have read this, and then also Meditations for Mortals, and they felt illuminating and like written specifically for me.

And without really changing anything about what I am actually doing, I now feel much better about it, because these are the right things to be doing now and anguishing about the ones that I can't get to is just sabotaging myself for no gain. It looks so simple now...

I still have a lot to digest, but having read thousands of books in my life, including dozens of self-help and productivity manuals, these have felt instantly life-changing.

Again thank you.

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