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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#221

Post by Yodel0914 »

komali2 wrote: post #204
cjbarber wrote: post #5

Found via: https://auren.substack.com/p/top-5-things-to-read-in-novembe... See also: https://x.com/wangzjeff/status/1983914310738047291 And also Nick Gray's 2 hour cocktail party book My personal thoughts on events: (These don't really apply to parties, but they do apply to non-party events) 1. Do intro circles: If it's a 5-25 person event with a handful of people that don't know each other, do an intro circle about…

> 1. Do intro circles: I'm an extrovert, and my assumption has always been, maybe introverts appreciate this kind of thing because otherwise they won't meet anyone? But, I've never, in my life, met someone that enjoys this kind of thing, other than the person subjecting everyone to it. So, unless I'm way off base here, why has nobody learned that everyone hates these and that they're useless?

As an introvert, I always assumed it was something the extroverts enjoyed (while being pure torture for the rest of us).

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#222

Post by madaxe_again »

buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

3am? This implies that the party is in a rush to be over by morning.

No no, the trick is to just keep the party going. Indefinitely. A good party will have several police callouts over the course of several weeks. You will need to recarpet your home afterwards, but the takings from the roulette and poker tables will cover it. You will make friends, lose friends, and people will thank you for it in 20 years, never mind the next morning.

I think my longest party stretched to about five weeks - of course people came and went, and having a core of unemployed/student insomniacs to keep it going through the wee hours of Tuesdays helped (for many saved themselves for Wednesdays, which had a particular focus on gambling) - and in the end it only ended because some wag decided to list the party on google maps, and I only narrowly squirmed my way out of charges over running an illegal casino.

Anyway. Parties should not be single night or day affairs, in my view.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#223

Post by pcl »

hexbin010 wrote: post #149
unnouinceput wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Spaghetti without tomato sauce? That's like pissing in the morning without farting. Sure, it'll get the main job done but it's not the same pure pleasure.

Cacio e Pepe, carbonara, spaghetti aglio e olio, spaghetti al vongole, white ragù There's a whole world out there! Tomato sauces can be acidic, so not great when drunk. Also tomatoes stain (if it were to come back up) !

Fwiw, you can neutralize tomato sauce with a little bit of baking soda. Start with a pinch, stir, wait thirty seconds, and taste to see if you need more.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#224

Post by nicbou »

dyauspitr wrote: post #97
nicbou wrote: post #15

I prefer to invite people individually, and create a group chat with those who confirmed. Nothing is more demoralising than 24 hours of people saying they won’t come, in the group chat, right before the event. My flake rate is close to zero, mostly because people personally told me they’ll join. It doesn’t hurt to get the group chat hyped up on the day of the event. The activity is enough to get people excited. I als…

This is ridiculous. When I throw parties I tell a couple of my friends and tell them to tell others and people just show up. Americans are living in some sort of parallel dimension.

I am not American. Adults with obligations are harder to get into the same room. When you do it regularly, you have to get better at it.

Sometimes you also need to know who will be there because if half the group flakes out, the logistics fall apart. Not every party is a house party.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#225

Post by nicbou »

dyauspitr wrote: post #125
semitones wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are certain kinds of styles of gatherings that do much better when there are 40-50 people present, rather than 10-20. If you are going for a low pressure hang and want 10-20, it's easy enough to just tell friends and tell them to tell others, you'll hit those numbers easy. If you are trying to do something a bit more memorable and you want to guarantee a higher turnout, you have to invest more effort into ensur…

Or you live in a society where people are naturally inclined to go to parties because it’s normal to do so frequently.

This dismissive tone does not encourage pleasant conversation. Mind the website’s guidelines.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#226

Post by cube00 »

> try to encourage standing for those who can e.g. by having high-top tables, or taking away chairs from around tables

Why do people feel it's their role to take away choice if someone wants (or need) to sit down?

I don't buy the attempt at inclusive language either because it's nobody's business to determine "for those who can".

Have chairs available for those who need them rather then forcing them make themselves known by asking the host for a chair or trying to drag one in from another room.

As a bonus you won't have to lug chairs out of the room only to put them back later.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#227

Post by fragmede »

Aurornis wrote: post #60
dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures. Even within a big city you’ll find social circles with different ideas of what partying is like. I have friend groups that have completely different ideas of what gatherings are and I adapt depending on the group. There is not a singular American party style. > In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. That’s a…

Except for red Solo cups. That's absolutely a real American party thing.

Source: Went to college in the US, also have been to stores in America where these cups are sold.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#228

Post by fragmede »

yugioh3 wrote: post #177
blovescoffee wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would not consider this to be a potluck. I've been to many parties in both LATAM and the US. LATAM parties are indeed just like US parties very often but in many cases they are much more "communal" without being a potluck per-se. A potluck is still too formal a name for what I've experienced at least. Someone's uncle will bring a piñata, someone's aunt will cook pozole, a cousin will bring a speaker, and so on. And…

For me in the US, potluck describes the style of food and culinary expectation of guests. The actual gathering could be fun and wild if it’s a fun and wild family potluck or uncool and lame if it’s an elementary school fundraiser potluck.

Til you find out that Lucy added LSD to her chicken casserole, that is!

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#229

Post by fragmede »

Aeolun wrote: post #152
dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

I think parties in the Netherlands consist mostly of “have house, bring booze” and things get taken from there. At least, when I was in high school/university (we got to buy alcohol from 16 at the time).

High school/University house parties in capitalist America have a "have house, bring money" theme, because drinking age is 21, so the oldest person buys the alcohol for everybody else, and things get taken from there.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#230

Post by fragmede »

ryukoposting wrote: post #132

Call me bad at parties, but a dedicated app for inviting people to the party is too much fanfare for my taste. If everyone waits around to see if their friends are going, nobody will RSVP because they're all waiting on each other to RSVP. We're all friends here. A good party fosters serendipity. Granted, I'm the same person who accepts any invitation to any concert, and intentionally doesn't listen to the band ahead…

> nobody will RSVP because they're all waiting on each other to RSVP

Partiful, specifically, has a setting where you're not allowed to see who's RSVP'd until you've RSVPd, precisely for this reason, I imagine.

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